I know you say your recovery is going smooth, but have the two of you discussed what you'll need in the way of EP's?

The goal is to affair proof your marriage.

When I feel frustrated, I chalk it up to others not having an understanding of what I�m trying to convey in my posts. It may be my posting style or it may be their reading skills, either way I always feel better when I look at it with that perspective. Even though you expressed that it feels like you�re being given the third degree, I hope you�ll continue to post.

I agree.

On reading your posts before this happened, I got the impression that you were avoiding giving specific details of exposure. I have seen that when that happens on this board, it is sometimes because the poster does not want to admit that they did not follow the guidance that they were given by the posters here.

Exposure can feel morally wrong the first time it is suggested; I know I found the idea of exposing to OWH inconceivable before I came across this forum. Within days of D Day I found all the personal details I needed to expose to OWH, and yet for about 18 months I hung onto these and did nothing, because it seemed morally wrong to break up her marriage. During all that time, the affair continued and I nearly had a mental breakdown after each new D Day. I did not fear my H leaving me, because I knew that I didn't want a man who wanted OW more than he wanted me, but I did worry terribly about her H and children - and so I did not expose.

We see worry and trepidation about exposure all the time on this forum. It can feel dangerous in that it might blow up our own marriage. We had a poster apparently arrive at and leave this forum just yesterday, unable to get the courage to expose his WW's affair. Yet experienced posters know that proper exposure can end an affair immediately and ensure that it does not reignite.

When that poster pushed you for details because of what seemed like gaps and inconsistencies in your posts, she was trying to guide you to do a thorough job and minimise the risk of a false recovery, which is a horror that does not bear description. You took offence at that - and, I might add, you continued to lump people together as "friends, family..." not answering her questions about children and other specific family members.

It's a shame that you took offence. The question was asked with the best interests of your marriage at heart. She wouldn't post here to give you "the third degree" merely because she has nothing better to do with her time.

I understand, all of the exposure, ep, etc have been done and are in place. I don't have a lot of time to post as I do it at work so that we can spend UA time when I am at home. I appreciate everything here.