Yes and here is an article about it.


Affairs are an addiction and until you EXPOSE and remove all the conditions that made the affair possible, you will have no chance of recovering your marriage.

Expose to the gym, the OW parents, and anyone of influence in your WH life. Ask for their support in helping the waywards end their cruel and selfish behaviour.

The article continues


Here is a link to the entire article
here

Have you bought the book SAA yet?

They all turn into the same person. And he is not the man you once knew, now he's an addict. He remains an addict until No Contact has been in place for some time and he is through withdrawal.

For example his traits are typical

Using a separation to continue the affair = typical
Blaming the betrayed spouse for not meeting needs, demonising her as being unforgiving and offering 'hell' in the future = typical.
Vowing one course of action one day, changing their mind the next = typical.

You might find the following thread useful for seeing just how predictable his behaviour is.

Never Take the Word of a Wayward

You must stop listening to his rambling and excuses. You would get more sense from the town drunk. He will say anything right now to keep his cake eating with two women going. He has no idea what he wants, so it is silly to ask him.

If you listen to him, he will just keep you on the Betrayed Spouses's see saw of heartbreak. One day he will promise to quit seeing her, nthe ext day he will blame you for being a harridan and say you are not worth it.

It is time to stop talking and start doing. Exposure - a good one with all targets hit QUICKLY - is what must be done next.

Stop talking, start acting. An addict will not pay attention to anything less.

Please expose fully and completely having read the exposure thread for instructions on how to do it EFFECTIVELY.

Don't do a half-effort exposure, that does not work. Do it right.

I haven't bought the book yet. I have two small children at home for the summer and not a lot of free time. So I have been reading on here and thinking things through over and over in my mind trying to come up with the best plan.

My WH has a lot of insecurities but covers them up with bravado and arrogance. This OW is supremely unattractive (my WH is quite handsome) and it is obvious to me that she is just feeding his ego like crazy.

Yesterday, in addition to reading and planning, I went and bought the sexiest dress his money could buy for an event I am going to without him tomorrow night:) I plan on walking out of this house and leaving his jaw on the floor. I also booked an appointment with my OB. That's going to be a hard discussion since he has delivered our children.

MY WH has been out of town for work this week but is due back today. I have really enjoyed the peace of him being gone, me left with my thoughts and babies and not one time did I have to worry about whether he was with her or not. If only I could get to that place all the time.

Question about exposure: Is it still as effective if WH doesn't know it was me that exposed everything? I'd really like to expose without being on the receiving end of any more of his anger. And yes, I have laughed many times at how many of you have said how resistant I would be to exposure and that I would fight it. So true, so true. I want to do it so bad but am scared that it will be the nail in the coffin of my marriage. So will the afair. I am stuck in an impossible situation. Any success stories with exposure that anyone would like to share?

I am also having a hard time deciding if I should do Plan A or just go to Plan B. I have been doing a Plan A of sorts before I discovered this site. But not with full exposure. I am just SO done with this whole situation! It is so monumentally unfair to me and to our babies. Ugh.....

The only thing you will have to lose by exposing will be a loveless and uncaring marriage.

Your WH and OW are living in a fantasy.

Exposure and a dose of reality are your most powerful weapon.

Plan B also requires exposure. Without it, your WH and OW will be free to make up stories about why you left WH and how they began their relationship. It gives them a free ride to carry on as usual without any accountability or consequences.

I am a little shocked that you won't expose this POSOW who is assaulting your marriage.

My OB told me to divorce my husband, lol. Don't worry about it, they have hear it all.

Dont be afraid of exposure. Keep your head up, you want people to know that you are fighting for your marriage. Exposure includes asking people to support you and your marriage.

It's definitely not that I won't expose her. Exposing her for being the homewrecking POS that she is will be the greatest feeling and I can't wait for that! I guess I just feel like I need to be fully prepared mentally and emotionally for the posibility that WH will be so angry with me for doing this that he will walk away. I truly feel that will be his reaction, so I want to be ready for it and have already accepted it to try to minimize my own emotional breakdown as much as I can. When D Day happened, I took it REALLY hard. I don't want to go back to that dark place. My babies need me. My dad always used to say "You have to get your mind right, kid!" And I do. My mind is a mess.

Your marriage will survive his anger, but it won't survive an ongoing affair.

Just so you know, all waywards get really mad after exposure. Expect it. It's typical. Afterall, you are taking his crack pipe away.

Maybe you dread it so bad because you're afraid you'll have to defend yourself to him. There is a solution for that, so you won't feel the dread of arguing with him.

All you need to do is keep one mantra in mind to say over and over again, when he comes storming in, and you can use the same mantra for days and weeks. Say something along the lines of "I am fighting for our marriage" and leave it at that. DO NOT get into a discussion with him about it. DO NOT apologize to him either. Speak you one sentence line and then go do something else, ignoring the rest of his angry fogbabble.

When you ignore the angry fog babble, after your one liner, your wayward will probably go take his anger out on the affair partner. That's what you want. Don't be his punching bag.

Every one here has felt better after the deed is done. I'm betting you will too. Plus, it's really fun to watch to affair implode.

He is SUPPOSED to be angry. His mind is wired wrong and you need shock and awe to kill the addict alien and free your REAL husband inside.

Do you think your REAL husband will be upset with YOU because HE had an affair and you are attcking the OW?

Many waywards also spin it to each other as uncaring when nothing is done.

He will be furious. He will spit venom. That's marvellous. That's what you want.

Airily reply you are sorry his affair is proving troublesome - bit do NOT apologise for exposure.

If he is NOT spitting mad than your exposure has not been good enough.

You need to fire a rocket under him.

Stop being cowed by his threats to leave you.

He cheated!

I get this Devastated. I remember that I was ready to check myself into the local psych ward except that the OW in my situation was a psych nurse and I was afraid I would run into her there.


The best way to get your mind right is to educate yourself about affairs and how to recover from them. This knowledge will give you strength to do what you need because you will then understand why certain things are effective and others are not.

Get the book and read it. If you have the time to buy dresses and go out, then you have the time to educate yourself and learn how to take control of your life. Right now your WH is in complete control.

here

His anger at exposure is a good thing. That is his moral compass talking. Don't engage...no matter what he throws at you. His anger will pass.