He doesn't have Facebook. She is blocked. Verizon just let me change my number. I hope that is enough. Just met with lawyer. The legal seperation will be filed and served later this week/early next.

Okay, I hate to sound ignorant (or perhaps not) but what is self care?

Ok what about Your email?

Self care is taking care of yourself, pampering yourself.

Make sure you're eating, sleeping and exercising. Also plan something nice. A new hair style, a pedi or mani, a massage or try a new yoga or cooking class or go out with friends or family.

I haven't changed it yet. I did block his email. It is currently connected to too many accounts. I will work on changing it in the coming days. I can't change work email. I will just block him from there as well.

I dropped off the letter on his computer in his shop. His computer was on but he was in the back so I didn't see him. His business "partner" saw me lay it on his computer.

He has the boys this weekend so self care will occur.

Okay, so no chocolate or toenail polish yet, but I did have a lovely dinner with WH parents and our boys. (Obviously they dont agree with the decisions he is making right now). Snuggled up in bed. Lots of prayers going up tonight.

Good girl.

Has his parents told him how disappointed they are of him?

I don't know what talks they have had. WH and his parents. My guess is they haven't talked to him much.

When you exposed to them, did you ask them for their support of your marriage and to talk to him (like the exposure templates)?

I didn't send exposure letters to his parents. I spoke to them individually, but yes I did ask them to persuade him to stay and work on our marriage and end his affair.

I am planning on writing something to them to explain why I am "going dark" and I will reiterate my desire for them to talk to him.

That's a good idea.

Sometimes parents just need to be asked to step in and talk to their wayward son or daughter.

Okay. First drop off tonight went well. I cracked the front door when I heard him pull in the driveway. The boys walked in on their own and shut the door. No contact drop off achieved. I was really nervous about how this would work.

Also, I sent an email to his Mom, dad, and sister about why I was choosing to separate the way I was and hoping they would talk to him about his decisions/actions.

Welcome to Plan B...almost. I am an old pro as I am just finishing up day five in Plan B.

It ain't easy. But a good IM, a good support system and staying very, very dark helps a lot. (I need to go darker...sigh.)

Good luck tomorrow with day one!!!

Thanks FMT. I accidentally had my footer wrong. Im kind of new to posting on a message board. I actually started Plan B on Wednesday. So far so good. No breaks in my curtain. Today I had to drop the boys off at school and my WH will pick them up and keep them for the weekend. This will be their first night away since our separation. It was very difficult knowing I won't talk to them or see for two days, and also not know what their plans will be. One day at a time.

My IM passed my first message to my WH last night. So far no obvious attempts by my husband to contact me, via IM or otherwise.

Just checking in, last night was my first night without the boys. Perhaps it was my first night alone in our house in 5.5 years. Weird. It went okay. I am desperately missing them. I certainly miss my husband and us interacting as a family, but that has been missing for a much longer time.

I know I can handle this. If God brings me to it he can certainly bring me through it.

Still no obvious attempts to contact our IM or me. He is following my Plan B letter. I have a tough time wondering if my plan B is not all that he ever wanted. He got to be a coward. I had to tell the boys, his parents, move out his stuff, contact a lawyer...and now he essentially doesn't have to see/talk to me. Free to be with his OW with little complication.

Free to be with his OW...

Experience here has been that this "freedom" is a huge dissatisfier to the adulterous couple. The "warts" now appear in full view.

Do something to prevent your mind going to what "What's-his-name" might/not be doing. Concentrate on you.

Ladies here suggest Spa appointments, nail/pedi/facial work, are great distractors.

Excellent NG.

Also delve into hobbies, groups, or take some classes. Such as:

Cooking class
Flower arranging
Taxidermy
Gardening
Sewing or quilting
Needlepoint
Firing range
Or anything else that interests you.

Yoga, crossfit and any good exercise that you enjoy.

Well I got the boys back last night. Based on what they said, it sounds like he got an apartment. It sounds like it isn't in our town (frustrating since his business and their school is). I know they asked him when he was coming home and he told them "I don't know, maybe never".

My oldest asked who Daddy's girlfriend is. I said Daddy would tell them when he was ready. I explained earlier in my post that they do know her and her children as we have been friends since before our kids were born. I guess this confirms that she hasn't been around them yet. They said they only saw Daddy this weekend and didnt hang out with anyone else.

I didn't do much Saturday. Mostly slugged around the house. I know this isn't what I am supposed to do, i just needed the day to really wallow in it. Sunday was much better. I got up, went to church and got a lot of stuff done around the house.

One day at a time.

Just checking in. Feeling better everyday. So glad to be removed from the drama. To be removed of wondering what I could do to make it all better, to be rid of thinking if I could just be so awesome as a wife and mother then he would stay.... It has been just over one week.

If I look at old photos I do get pretty sad. I realize I am mourning the man he was, not the person he is being.

Still no obvious attempts by him to contact me or my IM. I guess there hasnt really been any reason since I laid out a pretty solid plan in my Plan B addendum.

Sometimes posters will box up photos if it helps them to get through the pain.

What self-care do you have planned?