There is a saying forewarned is forearmed. Don't let on you know about the ongoing A before you expose. A strategic exposure without any warning will be far more effective.

I understand your financial concerns and fear to expose to WH workplace but this is a key target. If you don't expose and the A continues without interference it will become more entrenched and harder to kill. The more entrenched it becomes the greater the chance the OW will have in getting your WH to leave you. If that happens your financial security will be impacted and OW will have the benefit of the money he earns .... sadly this is common for many BW.

Are you in North Carolina?

If so they are a fault state and you (may) be able to sue the OW for alienation of affection if you choose not to recover.

Not sure if that's been covered earlier in your thread.

Happyfuture - What you are saying makes perfect sense. It certainly requires a change in my perspective that is taking me a while to understand but I am getting there.

Viscountess-I am in NC. When I spoke with my attorney several months ago I brought this up. He indicated that she probably has few assets to go after because she is so young and it would of course cost money to sue her but that it could be done.

So my next step would be to write up exposure letters/emails? Can I call people on the phone to expose?

He has done nothing to earn that belief from you, hon

Yes. You are on the right track.

Prisca - sorry if I wasn't clear. I don't believe that but that is what WH thinks I believe. He doesn't know that I know he is still seeing OW.

Okay, good!

Expose BEFORE letting him know you know. This will give you the shock an awe affect of exposure to the full extent. He will have no warning and no ability to 'spin' the story (which he's already doing by telling all his friends that you're crazy, mean, unloving, etc).

A shock this big has the potential to shake him out of the affair. It will put a TON of pressure on the affair and just might kill it dead.

seek legal counsel first for protection. He doesn't need to know about this. Then full on exposure to everyone in both of your families, friends and the workplace. She needs to be exposed to..to her friends and family. You want these two to be totally unprepared and off guard.

And, the legal counsel should be about your financial security and not about whether to expose or not.

He's in sales - and he's sold you a boat load of fear about his job.

Frankly - he can get a better promotion by leaving to work for another company.

Sales jobs are the EASIEST to come by for people good at what they do.

Do not buy his fear.

IMMEDIATE Job change should be non-negotiable when you expose and confront.

How is he "reformed and commited to your marriage" is he's having sex with men from Craigslist?
Do you really believe he was "just joking" when you confronted him with the evidence? I understand that you are a stay at home mom. If you visit an attorney your rights (child support) will be protected.
He sounds like hes having multiple affairs and despite how you think or feel, he will continue to do so

There is more than a job change needed.
He's soliciting men for sex on Craigslist and poses an immediate health danger to his wife.
This is not a single affair partner. He's a habitual cheater

Is there any hope for habitual cheaters or is it best to try to move on?

It all depends on his willingness to change his behavior, establish extraordinary precautions, and create a romantic relationship with you.

Dr. Harley doesn't advise wives to spend more than about three weeks trying to win a wayward husband over to this idea. After that, the threat to your emotional and physical well being is so great that he advises you enter Plan B solely to protect YOU.

It sounds like a lot of the other posters are correct...I should be preparing to separate and expose in Plan B. As a Christian, I have been having faith and praying that the Lord would restore my marriage and my children would be able to grow up with their father at home. I guess at some point I just have to look after myself and my kids and let the Lord work on WH? Very sad.

Can I still plan b if I am unsure I want to reconcile at this point but just state that I won't talk to him no contact with OW?

What do you suggest for plan b when there is also a newborn baby that is nursing who WH wants to visit?

As a Christian myself, I can assure you that your finding this website is, in fact, the Lord answering your prayer. I don't know how your situation will work out, but I do know that following the MB program for recovery will give you the best result possible. At this point, concentrating your attention on yourself and your children is the best thing for your family, including your WH. Plan B preserves the balance in your love bank for the future. Should the future mean reconciliation, you are going to need every love unit you have spared.

I just exposed and went to Plan B. He left last night. I am already getting emails and texts from him. What should I do?

His email said: I am sorry for all that I have done. I would change it if I could. As soon as I find me, I am going to work to get me fixed again. I am so far from where I've been and so far from where I want to be. I just truly don't know where to start. As far as [OW], she has plans to leave the [company] very soon. She is not happy and currently looking for other employment.

His text, after exposure: I know that you're mad, upset, and hate me. I deserve it. But please stop contacting everyone and telling them what has happened. It's doing nothing good. Ive told you that I will do and give you whatever you want. I am sorry for screwing our marriage up and for hurting you. If you want me to leave my job, fine, I will. Just let me find another job first. This can't be fixed by doing more damage.

So MB folks, WHAT DO I DO NOW? Freaking out a bit.

In Plan B, you should not even be hearing from him. You need to change your email and contact info.

Keep up your exposure. He's mad; it must be working.