Hi,<BR>Well I do see some familiar face here...My life has changed a lot since I last posted here. So here goes the update....Discovered affair 1/8/99...Tried plan A...Husband said he was trying but wasn't...I caught them together on Mothers Day...What a horrible day that was...At that point I told him I couldn't make him love me and if she was what he wan't then we should separate...I couldn't take the lies anymore...So he packed his stuff and moved into her apartment. The kids and I stayed on the ranch..He was there on and off over the summer months, just to work on the ranch...Then last August he told me he thought he wanted a divorce...If any of you remember our financial situation is such that theres not going to be a whole lot left if we divorce...He hasn't followed threw with the divorce part yet...I did make the decision to leave the ranch and move back to<BR>our house we owned before we leased the ranch. I did this because of the kids..It was not fair to them to be way out there with no family life...Of course by doing so my husband got what he had wanted all along..for the ow to move out to the ranch and live with him...So the ow is living in the house that I painted,putnew carpet in and spent hours fixing up so my husband and I would have a happy home...It really hurts alot...but at last my husband has everything he wanted....I'm going to give him some time now to see if the grass is as green as he thinks it is...And I hope we have a killer winter, so they have to shovel snow to feed cows...sorry but I do have a little anger...I still love my husband and continue to tell him that whenever I get the chance...He comes and sees the kids...but not as often as I'd like...his loss I guess...the kids don't want to be around her at all...so that makes him choose between her and the kids...right now I think he is choosing her...He says he still cares about me...just doesn't love me anymore...personally I don't think he knows what he feels...He still hasn't filed for divorce and I'm sticking to my orginal plan of making him do the dirty deed...Iv'e come along ways since the beginning of this mess...but know I have along road ahead of me...I still have days of depression...And feelings of not being able to deal with the loss of my husband...Its hard being a single parent and thats how I feel right now...He is supporting us financially...And for my sanity I have went back to work part-time...<BR>I'm trying hard to accept the way things are and to go on with life for myself and my children...but I won't lie to you...Its no cake walk...I will always love my husband...I Honestly believe I will never love another man but him...Sorry this is so long....<BR>lonesome

lonesome,<P>Sounds like you have been through the ringer and then some! I really feel for you. This whole ordeal we are all experiencing is hard enough ....soooo sorry about the ranch! That is the pits.<P>I am here tonight, too. Another exciting Frdiay night - I am already in my pjs and looking for friends here.<P>If you want, keep posting here and I'll keep checking and write back!<P>Roll Me Away

I know how hard it is without your H mines been gone for three month never see him or talk to him. Our two children are grown, and we do have two grandson, just babies, He hasn't seen them either. Some choice family or OW. Doesn't that tell you that they are really not in this world anymore. Boy when they crash it will be a long fall. <BR>Like RMA I will be hear, off and on tonight, however I'm not in my PJ to earlier here. I check in on you to. If you like minestrone soup you might check in on Sidney's post.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Hello lonesome,<P>Just wanted to say hello, I remember you very much and your story, I was thinking about you just the other day and wondered how you and your kids were.<P>There's a few other "oldies" who haven't posted much that I think about too, Terri and another Ginny (I think) come to mind.<P>I'm sorry your're going through this, my H is at home but I know he saw her 2 weeks ago (I found OUR truck parked in her yard).<P>It is very hard to know what to do, which direction to go in, but these are questions only we can answer for ourselves.<P>Take care lonesome, I will say a prayer for your whole family tonight.<P>Love, jt

Just wanted to say thankyou for your posts and its good to know that some of you are still hanging in there...It is hard, but I'm finding its comforting to know that their are others going threw the same things as I am...That I'm not alone...My prayers are with you all.<BR>lonesome<p>[This message has been edited by lonesome (edited November 05, 1999).]