Click the "listen now" link and start listening to Dr. Harley. There is a new show every weekday, which repeats every hour until the next show is aired. You are going to need a lot of education and motivation if you want to save your marriage, and Dr. Harley gives it away for free.

If you will read the Basic Concepts, you will learn how your wife fell out of love with you, and what to do about it.

Q&A columns. There are hundreds of these. They are all helpful, even the ones that don't immediately apply to your situation, because Dr. Harley drops lots of helpful remarks and concepts all through them.

By the way, your wife is having an affair.

Where do I find these question and answer columns

Click on the link that markos provided here.

The only affair she's having is looking beyond us to have fun. She tells me that all she sees in the future with me is despair. She is turning 44 next week and I think it's an issue along with all that she keeps from the past. Our kids are 14 and 10 and are now self sufficient. We can finanally go out on our own again and she tells people this. We went to myrtle beach for spring break this year and she admits we had a blast. Two weeks ago I told her I tried to get her something she wanted for her birthday but they were out of stock. This piece of jewelry was on sale. I told her this (immature mistake). She was so upset. I never get her stuff and she assumes I wouldn't care enough to work overtime to get her something. I did still get the main piece she wanted. My kids replaced a mother child pendant with a mother father 2 children pendant. Thats going to be awkward when she gets it. She doesn't believe In psyco babble as she calls it and I can't even get her to fill out the emotional needs questionair. Even though I can see all of my issues in that form . I have let her down for so long she has no faith in me.

You realize that Dr Harley has DECADES of experience working with couples trying to fix their marriage, right?

There IS an affair, period. You admit it in this thread and you also tell us that she still works with this man. That means NO recovery while she works with this guy.

That's exactly what Dr Harley will tell you - it's all over these forums if you will take the time to read and learn instead of arguing with us.

If you don't pull your head out of the sand and face the REAL problem here, you aren't going to be able to save your M.

Are these two separate affairs or is the high school friend also the coworker?

BTW, you need to have this thread moved to the SAA forum and you need to start learning about Plan A, pronto.

I don't believe in psychobabble, either.

And you can still proceed even if your wife won't fill out the ENQ. Dr. Harley actually coaches couples, regardless of what they put on their forms, to spend 15 hours together per week meeting the four intimate emotional needs: conversation, recreational companionship, affection, and sexual fulfillment. These are what make the biggest love bank deposits.

That is why it is crucial to start trying to get her to date you.

But of course it won't do any good if you don't also combat the affair. You need to become so integrated into her life that you know the extent of her relationships.

Did you watch these?

I am monitoring all electronics. No affair.

What is plan a and b. the search engine does not work on my ipad

You don't need to use a search engine. All of Dr. H's concepts are on this site. Here you go:
What Are Plan A and Plan B

Good. Keep it up.

Become integrated into her life. Become so integrated that she could not possibly have an affair without your knowledge. You need to be this integrated anyway!

Show up at her work unannounced with a surprise invitation to lunch! (And observe how she and coworkers talk to each other and react to you.)

Not sure what to do. ...I think my husband is having an affair again

I really need to talk and I need advice. ....can't talk to family or friends. ...embarrassed