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I'm giving her space and time to think. She said I'm not listen to her. So no more sharing a bed. No more back rubs. No more kisses. She needs time she is getting it. At least she is home. Ah75, do you want to save your marriage? Everything you are doing - refusing to move, giving her "space" to think, these are all excellent paths to divorce. Women are not men - if a man "gives us space" when we fall out of love, we use that to confirm that he does not care. Right now, giving her space, is giving her room to fall out of love even more. You should be reading Dr. Harley's advice on this, because right now you are on a path to divorce. You aren't a marriage expert (neither are we, we can only offer his proven advice). Are you willing to do what it takes to save this? Or are you going to lay over and let divorce happen? Nobody would blame you if you choose to divorce, that is of course, your choice to make as you have been deeply betrayed - but you will NOT save your marriage by doing what you are doing.
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She has been apprehensive about sex for many years. Always tired. So theropy made her realize she has not wanted me for years before the affair happened. No, therapy has reinforced that she was not in love, and encouraged her to decide she wasn't in love, rather than actually try to fall in love. Everything that is going on here is basically a "do not do" to save marriages. The classic mistakes. Are you willing to do something that feels against conventional wisdom? Remember, conventional wisdom has led to an abysmal recovery rate.
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Say what you want but affair is done. If she does again with anyone I'm done and she's out.
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Ah,
Do you want to save your marriage?
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Yes I am willing and have been trying.
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She has been apprehensive about sex for many years. Always tired. So theropy made her realize she has not wanted me for years before the affair happened. She didn't want sex because she fell out of love. She didn't need to go to therapy to know she was not interested in sex for years, she already knew this. Did the "therapist" give you and your wife a plan to resolve this problem? Did the therapist tell you WHY your wife no longer wanted sex and show you how to make her desire you again?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Say what you want but affair is done. Ah, Can you tell me how you are verifying this, please? Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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She can't see us together in the future.........
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Say what you want but affair is done. If she does again with anyone I'm done and she's out. If you are not willing to do anything to save your marriage, there is nothing we can do to help you.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Say what you want but affair is done. If she does again with anyone I'm done and she's out. But HOW do you know this? Because she said so? You need to VERIFY.
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I know her schedule 24/7.
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Please let us know if you are interested in using MB techniques, otherwise this would just be a blog towards divorce. Your marriage is in crisis, so you know it would be wise to head the marriage advice of a professional who has saved them, rather than your intuition. This is where your current beliefs on marriage have landed you. It is hard to change our ideas of what we feel is right, but we all have, but only after we admit that we didn't have it all figured out. We wouldn't have been here if we did.
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No the therapist did not!!!
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Yes I am willing and have been trying. Based upon the evidence you currently have before you are you willing to entertain the idea that your way isn't working? Are you willing to listen to what is more likely to work and then implement it? No one here is trying to beat up on you -- we are trying to help you. Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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How do I get her desire back?
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I know her schedule 24/7. HOW do you know? GPS? Spyware? HOW, Ah, HOW? Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Yes that's why I read love buster and working on his need her needs and on here
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How do I get her desire back? You can't do this until you verify the affair is over and remove her from the environment that created it. No contact with OM for life, and that includes seeing him out & about. Once that is done, Dr. Harley has many steps to help wives overcome sexual aversion. However, getting rid of OM and the affair sometimes fixes it. We don't love more than one man at a time.
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How do I get her desire back? Did you read my long post to you above? Have you read Surviving An Affair? Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Yes that's why I'm here and reading the books
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