Why don't you write him?

What's his email address?

You can write the radio show at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. Include your telephone number and they will call you to see if you'd like to get on the air for a conversation with them. Joyce will call you ahead of time to talk it over with you first and put you at ease. They can also answer by email, but it's often better to have a conversation with them so you can share more details, and they don't have to guess.

Wow, it sounds like you might have more drama than me, and I cna barely handle what I have. Sorry, man.

Which antidepressants did you settle on? I have heard so many bad things about all that stuff that I am afraid to take them. As for the crohn's, I feel bad for you. I've had the looksee procedure 3x and am probably due for another one. The drugs are fantastic, though. Depending on your condition, look into a drug called Entocort EC. That's what I have now and it works really well. Just don't stay on it for several years like I did - no one told me to stop taking it. The generic is called Budez CR and I get it from alldaychemist (website) since I have no insurance. It's pretty cheap there.

I'd PM you all this but it is disabled.

The most important concern is your mental and physical health. CAN YOU stay in touch with her and maintain your sanity and your health? If the answer to that is YES, the next question is can you be PLEASANT and avoid all lovebusters? Can you be around her without criticizing her and being ugly? Can you be pleasant?

If you cannot be pleasant and if your mental health suffers, you should go into a dark plan B. You have experienced depression and suicidal ideation in the past, though, and that is very concerning.

Can you remain in plan A? If you can, there might a chance you can make a difference.

The problem I have with any Plan A is the fact that she might still be seeing the OM. I honestly don't think anything will work. Even her father doesn't see her losing her pride and admitting ANY wrongdoing. She is THAT stubborn. I would be more comfortable with a Plan A if he was out of the picture.

Listen to Mel, she's right. You gotta keep yourself up on your feet, and with this crappy disease you know you gotta be well. (pun intended because I'm entitled to it)

You've got a chance coming at you soon with your wife, I can feel it. Now is the time to start a stellar Plan A. Show her what a great husband/person you are. But you really gotta drop the anger around her. You can vent here if you need to, but cool, calm, and collected when you face her. The courts will listen. They are changing and realizing kids need both parents. You'll get rights back. It'll take time. And if you do a good Plan A, your wife likely wouldn't mind some changes. Check out the county law library. Free meetings with reference lawyers and they will help you draft your own papers and get the right forms many times.

As for your questions:
The AD I took was generic celexa (citalopram). I knew it was right for me immediately. I had tried Prozac, but it just didn't do anything I didn't feel any different. The first dose of this hit like a ton of bricks, but after a couple days I didn't notice it as much. By weeks end I felt fine. Tons of energy, worked harder, paid better attention to my job, better memory. I was able to focus on me, my kids, and my daily activities, and not worry about all the crap I had being heaped on me by the situation. When I got off them, I just got off. No biggie. They are not forever for most folks. They are like crutches, once you're healed and have dealt with the problem you don't need em anymore. Just be done.

For crohn's a totally different story. I was diagnosed at 13 and have already had one resection. I do not look forward to the prospect of another. For meds, I was on prednisone, azulfidine, metronidazole for about a decade; was great for the 60's treatment methodology. Then mercaptopurine and budesonide most recently, also had proctocort, and mesalamine (YAY Suppositories) and some others in there somewhere. None of those are working for me right now. Surgeon said "Lemme cut you open and take it all out" to which I responded "Hell NO!". I began Remicade infusions on Monday to hopefully prevent me wearing a bag for the rest of my natural life. I had done it in the past but it was prohibitively expensive even with insurance. But it knocked me into remission for 2 years! The stress from this hell did me in though and I landed in the hospital a couple months ago. Luckily I have excellent insurance now. $30 co-pay is all according to the hospital. I also have the manufacturer's remistart program on standby if i need it. They will pay the balance of the medication cost after insurance if any. We'll find out when i get the EOB.

Brain, I've been on the show once already. I don't know how many followups they do, especially when things have gone from bad to worse. Not sure it makes for good radio.

I'm not too concerned with the legal stuff right now. I can tell you already that the xWW is trying to get me to take my kids more, giving me different reasons. I have them tonight, actually, because she allegedly has a 'lot of things to' before she transitions to the new space where she'll be working after the business is closed. Of course, she is probably lying. She likely has plans with OM. I know they all stayed overnight at his house last night, so that seems to be going strong.

I will mention that my friend's wife made her decision to return to him when things were going well for her and her affair partner. She had an epiphany and things changed. She did have a few relapses but ended up staying married and ultimately followed SaA and rebuilt the marriage.

Also, I'm not ignoring your crohn's discussion - It's late and I'm tired. I could go on an on about that and wouldn't mind PMing a side discussion.

As many times as you need.

Dr. Harley even encourages listeners to email him if they disagree with him.

NP. You've got bigger things to deal with that talking to me about something we both know backwards and forwards. So long as you keep it under control during this ordeal.

Can't move forward. I think I'll be stuck here forever. xW is still seeing the OM. STILL, almost 3 years now. WTF. What happened to this "affairs collapse on their own soon after exposure". BULLSH!T. Why do I have to be the lucky [censored] whose xW beats the odds? I swear my purpose is to be an example to everyone around me by waking them up with my departure. I really don't see any other path for me. I can't continue to be a babysitter to my own kids, going into the same depression after they leave week after week after week, and be kept destitute by the court system. No decent school for my girls, no normal childhood for them. I may as well lock in that existence and relieve myself of this nightmare at the same time. And no, I am not going to medicate this away with happy pills.

Can you discuss this with your Pastor?

You never exposed on OM's side and so exposure was never completely done.

Me) BH - age 49
WW - age 30
D - age 18mo; D - age 4
Married 2006
Divorced May 2013 - uncontested (she got everything).
D-day 28feb13 (suspected months earlier)

You rolled over and played doormat. Why did you not contest the divorce?

Why do you not get a husbands rights advocate lawyer and take this hose job of a divorce back to the courts?

You complain why me.

I will now complain WHY YOU did not do a full exposure.

Exposure is not full proof. That in itself proves why not all marriages are saved from an affair.

What is full proof is that when affairs are not fully exposed they are not killed.

You gave up the marriage by not exposing.

You gave away everything through the divorce settlement by not fighting.

You just give up. No one ever gets victory from giving up.

When you are done giving up hire a lawyer to amend the D settlement and expose OM totally.

Just for the satisfaction that people will know the damage that he did.

This is New Mexico - attitudes are different here, I am telling you. There is a lack of morality here that is astonishing. I exposed to her family and she is still seeing him - there is NO ONE in her family who is supportive of her decision. You'd think that alone would be enough to make her rethink her actions but it's not.

As far as contesting, I don't have the money. I have been at a contract job for 4 months and I need to get my own place this week before I lose my mind. Between that and child support that I owe I am going to be tapped out and living week to week like usual. One thing I have learned since staying with my parents is that my mother is mentally ill. Without going into too much detail - rather than being supportive, she has made my life a living hell with her controlling behavior, her OCD, and the passive aggression when I don't toe the line like some kind of slave. She treats me like I am 12 years old. No empathy whatsoever. And my father has two emotional states: Apathetic and angry. He has major anger issues that he has never dealt with. I talk to my xFIL because I can't talk to my own father about anything - he is not equipped to give any advice on anything

I wouldn't know who to expose to at this point. I don't know who his family is, except his kids. Who would care? His ex wife? I don't know who she is. I have to get to work so I'll check in later.

I and my WW are from NM. We lived there for 21 years and moved to TX about an hour and a half away from NM. Trust me, this program works and every action they tell you to take is correct. Your problem was that you let fear dictate your actions, its ok we've all been there and we've all felt that embarrasing feeling and that embarrassment with yourself of being scared.

Guess what? You lost everything because you let that fear dictate your actions, stand up for yourself, what do you have to lose now?

Took my kids trick or treating tonight - met them at the mailbox because I am not setting foot on my former property. Took them up the street and back, carried my 2 year old almost the whole way. Decided to be a little brave and walk them to the door. xW answered and they walked in. Interesting, though. There was a POS pickup parked in front of my house. I did some checking, and turns out the very same truck is parked in front of the POSOM's house on google maps. She has a lot of ****ing nerve asking me to take the girls, then having that POS in the house when I get back. Unbelievable. I am not in a good mood right now.

Interestingly, I talked to her father a few days ago and he mentioned that she had told her mother than she has no intention of marrying the POSOM. So what the hell is she still doing with him?