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And January. And we have been coaching with Jennifer.
It always seems to come back to money when we talk about it. It's not just having enough to go out ourselves, but it's having enough to go out AND do those other things with friends. Did you have a question answered on the show on 8-23? No it wasn't me. I am interested to see what Dr. H has to say to Markos about saving money though when that is available. Was this along the same lines?
Me (42) Her (43) - feuillecouleur
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No it wasn't, but I have markos show in my notes. I don't know what I missed but I had your name down for the 8-23 show. I obviously had the wrong name. I knew it wasn't you because the BH ended up having an affair and that's why I was so confused, but Now I wonder whose show I noted??? Here it is. Radio Clip
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Now I wonder whose show I noted??? maybe it was for FindingTheLight ?
Me (42) Her (43) - feuillecouleur
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I think there needs to be a moratorium on new usernames that start with F - you guys all look alike to me! (Could be worse - there's been several dozen hopes and phoenixes.)
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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After dinner we went by Home Depot and bought some vinyl tiles, came home and tiled the entry way. Pretty good night. If you want to make a really romantic statement, you should use ceramic tile!
me-65 wife-61 married for 40 years DS - 38, autistic, lives at home DD - 37, married and on her own DS - 32, still living with us
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After dinner we went by Home Depot and bought some vinyl tiles, came home and tiled the entry way. Pretty good night. If you want to make a really romantic statement, you should use ceramic tile! We'll do that in the new house. We are just trying to get this one ready to sell.
Me (42) Her (43) - feuillecouleur
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After dinner we went by Home Depot and bought some vinyl tiles, came home and tiled the entry way. Pretty good night. If you want to make a really romantic statement, you should use ceramic tile! I believe I made a huge love bank deposit buying vinyl tile last year.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Although now that I think about it, we bought some ceramic tile, too.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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No it wasn't, but I have markos show in my notes. I don't know what I missed but I had your name down for the 8-23 show. I obviously had the wrong name. I knew it wasn't you because the BH ended up having an affair and that's why I was so confused, but Now I wonder whose show I noted??? Here it is. Radio ClipI see you figured it out. I just got a chance to click on the link when I got home and I recognized the story.
Me (42) Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11) DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
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No it wasn't, but I have markos show in my notes. I don't know what I missed but I had your name down for the 8-23 show. I obviously had the wrong name. I knew it wasn't you because the BH ended up having an affair and that's why I was so confused, but Now I wonder whose show I noted??? Here it is. Radio ClipI see you figured it out. I just got a chance to click on the link when I got home and I recognized the story. Yes thanks to markos help.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Well, her needs list has changed. It is now:
1. FC 2. RC 3. FS 4. DS 5. AD
I'm not sure what to think about that but that's what it is at this point in time. I guess I need to rearrange what I have been doing.
As for UA time, this past week we got 13 out of the home and another 5 at home. So that's 18. It was a struggle this week because our youngest got up in the middle of the night every day last week.
This week, we have the same thing scheduled. We'll see how it goes.
Me (42) Her (43) - feuillecouleur
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FTF,
Except for AD, all things OM could/would not supply.
From the descriptions you gave it sounds like OMs waning interest in sex with your W must have been painful for her, so I'm not sure she even got AD from OM.
God Bless Gamma
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FTF,
Except for AD, all things OM could/would not supply.
From the descriptions you gave it sounds like OMs waning interest in sex with your W must have been painful for her, so I'm not sure she even got AD from OM.
God Bless Gamma If that's the case, then how could she be "in love" with him? I believe the standard response would be that she is not interested in having her more intimate emotional needs met by me at this time which explains the lack of them on the current list. (IC, AF, SF)
Me (42) Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11) DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
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Interesting that family commitment now tops the list - one of the most important things I could do for Prisca when she was withdrawn was to arrange family activities. Usually having a good time as a family was a good way to start breaking the ice.
Do you guys schedule 15 hours a week for family commitment?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Interesting that family commitment now tops the list - one of the most important things I could do for Prisca when she was withdrawn was to arrange family activities. Usually having a good time as a family was a good way to start breaking the ice.
Do you guys schedule 15 hours a week for family commitment? We don't really schedule it. It's a given we will be with them every evening and we usually do something on Saturday or Sunday or both. This past Saturday we went to Chuck e Cheese because the local festival we had planned on going to got rained out.
Me (42) Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11) DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
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Interesting that family commitment now tops the list - one of the most important things I could do for Prisca when she was withdrawn was to arrange family activities. Usually having a good time as a family was a good way to start breaking the ice.
Do you guys schedule 15 hours a week for family commitment? We don't really schedule it. It's a given we will be with them every evening and we usually do something on Saturday or Sunday or both. This past Saturday we went to Chuck e Cheese because the local festival we had planned on going to got rained out. Those sound good - you might quietly measure the time involved and see how many hours are really being spent.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Just got through reading mywifeilove's thread from 6 or 7 years ago. It was a really interesting and inspiring story. Just got me thinking about my own R with my W and realizing we are no where near where they ended up yet. If you haven't read it and have the time, it is an interesting read but a long thread. In a nutshell, his W had an affair, moved out, and he was able to do a long but great Plan A, and then a rather short Plan B at the end to win her back. It almost seemed to me that they had to go through that process to reconnect and come out together on the other end. I was just thinking on my own situation and how I handled things after D-Day up until today and wonder if I didn't do it all wrong. i think maybe my wife harbors a lot of resentment about the way I reacted and may have a lot to do with why she isn't really on board with MB even. I think she sees it as a way for me to control her. Not sure how to re-frame this whole thing into something we are doing TOGETHER because we both want to, not because I'm making her do it. Does that make sense?
Me (42) Her (43) - feuillecouleur
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Whoops, wrong thread. Disregard.
Last edited by karmasrose; 09/28/13 07:24 PM.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Just got through reading mywifeilove's thread from 6 or 7 years ago. It was a really interesting and inspiring story. Just got me thinking about my own R with my W and realizing we are no where near where they ended up yet. If you haven't read it and have the time, it is an interesting read but a long thread. In a nutshell, his W had an affair, moved out, and he was able to do a long but great Plan A, and then a rather short Plan B at the end to win her back. It almost seemed to me that they had to go through that process to reconnect and come out together on the other end. I was just thinking on my own situation and how I handled things after D-Day up until today and wonder if I didn't do it all wrong. i think maybe my wife harbors a lot of resentment about the way I reacted and may have a lot to do with why she isn't really on board with MB even. I think she sees it as a way for me to control her. Not sure how to re-frame this whole thing into something we are doing TOGETHER because we both want to, not because I'm making her do it. Does that make sense? FtheF: Are you saying if you had "done it differently" FC might harbour less resentment? Or she might be more on board with MB program? That actually sounds a bit manipulative/controlling to me. You can only control YOU. She controls her actions. But then, I haven't read the thread you are referring to yet. Maybe I will feel differently once I do.
Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
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Just got through reading mywifeilove's thread from 6 or 7 years ago. It was a really interesting and inspiring story. Just got me thinking about my own R with my W and realizing we are no where near where they ended up yet. If you haven't read it and have the time, it is an interesting read but a long thread. In a nutshell, his W had an affair, moved out, and he was able to do a long but great Plan A, and then a rather short Plan B at the end to win her back. It almost seemed to me that they had to go through that process to reconnect and come out together on the other end. I was just thinking on my own situation and how I handled things after D-Day up until today and wonder if I didn't do it all wrong. i think maybe my wife harbors a lot of resentment about the way I reacted and may have a lot to do with why she isn't really on board with MB even. I think she sees it as a way for me to control her. Not sure how to re-frame this whole thing into something we are doing TOGETHER because we both want to, not because I'm making her do it. Does that make sense? FtheF: Are you saying if you had "done it differently" FC might harbour less resentment? Or she might be more on board with MB program? That actually sounds a bit manipulative/controlling to me. You can only control YOU. She controls her actions. But then, I haven't read the thread you are referring to yet. Maybe I will feel differently once I do. If making more deposits than withdrawals is "manipulative," then yeah. You better believe that we can "manipulate" our spouses by making large, consistent Love Bank balances and avoiding withdrawals. We can "manipulate" them into falling in Love with us!
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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