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Originally Posted by feuillecouleur
Originally Posted by MrsWondering
Color me impressed, FC -- Way to go! How did FTF respond when you told him?

Mrs. W


I keep forgetting to tell him! I should send him a text right now before I forget.
So what did he say?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
So what did he say?


He said "Me too".

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Originally Posted by Rocketqueen
Originally Posted by feuillecouleur
It's fine I guess. I just don't want to do it with him

Why not? And try to make it more than one sentence.

Are there still lovebusters?
Is he not meeting your intimate EN's?

I didn't see you answer these questions.


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Originally Posted by Rocketqueen
I didn't see you answer these questions.


Yes, some. I admit I need to do a better job of telling him about them instead of letting them fester.

We do have good conversations during our UA time. And I try to be as affectionate as possible on our dates.

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What do you have planned this week for your 25 hours of UA time?

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Originally Posted by feuillecouleur
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
So what did he say?


He said "Me too".

First step of both of you doing something as a team to protect your marriage. Say that out loud to him. You guys desperately need to start viewing this from a team perspective. This marriage belongs to both of you -- it needs to be valued by both of you as something very precious.

FC, do you feel cherished by your husband? Is that something important to you? If so, what kinds of things would make you feel that you are cherished by him? What things make you feel that he doesn't cherish you?

I ask these questions because "lack of feeling cherished" is a common theme I've seen amongst wives who had affairs -- myself included. The word "cherished" itself seems to resonant deeply with a lot of women. I wonder if you are among them.

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

markos #2764258 11/04/13 02:40 PM
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Originally Posted by markos
FC, let me ask - have you listened to Dr. Harley's radio show on any kind of regular basis? You might find some insight there as far as what kind of feedback your husband needs in order to become your best friend, integrated into your life.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Originally Posted by HomeSweetHome
What do you have planned this week for your 25 hours of UA time?


We haven't even talked about it yet

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Originally Posted by MrsWondering
Originally Posted by feuillecouleur
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
So what did he say?


He said "Me too".

First step of both of you doing something as a team to protect your marriage. Say that out loud to him. You guys desperately need to start viewing this from a team perspective. This marriage belongs to both of you -- it needs to be valued by both of you as something very precious.

FC, do you feel cherished by your husband? Is that something important to you? If so, what kinds of things would make you feel that you are cherished by him? What things make you feel that he doesn't cherish you?

I ask these questions because "lack of feeling cherished" is a common theme I've seen amongst wives who had affairs -- myself included. The word "cherished" itself seems to resonant deeply with a lot of women. I wonder if you are among them.

Mrs. W


I used to when we first started dating. He used to write me love letters and take me on surprise trips.

markos #2764341 11/05/13 09:13 AM
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Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by markos
FC, let me ask - have you listened to Dr. Harley's radio show on any kind of regular basis? You might find some insight there as far as what kind of feedback your husband needs in order to become your best friend, integrated into your life.


Not on a regular basis but we sometimes listen to it together when there's something interesting on

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Originally Posted by feuillecouleur
Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by markos
FC, let me ask - have you listened to Dr. Harley's radio show on any kind of regular basis? You might find some insight there as far as what kind of feedback your husband needs in order to become your best friend, integrated into your life.


Not on a regular basis but we sometimes listen to it together when there's something interesting on

I would really suggest making it regular. There is a lot in there that can help you find a way that both of you can be happy in life together.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
markos #2764579 11/06/13 12:29 PM
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Seconded. Listening to the radio show daily for a couple of years really helped cement good habits and thought processes!


Doormat_No_More
(Formerly Barnboy)
Original thread lost in the forum purge of '09.
4 months after D-Day
1 year after D-Day
Two Years Later
Four Years Later
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Hi, DoNoMo! It's always a pleasure to see you post!


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
markos #2764586 11/06/13 12:50 PM
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Glad to be around. Testing triggers by replying to threads. Seems I'm past the worst of it (four years later).


Doormat_No_More
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Original thread lost in the forum purge of '09.
4 months after D-Day
1 year after D-Day
Two Years Later
Four Years Later
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Originally Posted by Doormat_No_More
Glad to be around. Testing triggers by replying to threads. Seems I'm past the worst of it (four years later).

Yeah! There's hope for those of us who are behind you on the recovery road...


Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
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I thought of you when I heard this.
Radio Clip on UA and Sexual Aversion
Segment 2


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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