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boo #2761014 10/19/13 04:31 AM
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Originally Posted by boo
So a friend and I investigated te dates on the condoms and the condoms. They either come in 3 pack or 12 pack. They are really old. 2008. So based on the dates we narrowed it down to when e was out of town. Plus he never uses his truck for this job. In fact I drive it. He used his truck a lot when out of town to travel and forth and when he drive his work vehicle he left his in other city. So how in te world will I found out about 5 years ago and during 5 years?!


Stop spinning!!

You can find this out later using a polygraph. Focus on getting undeniable evidence of what's going on right now.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

MelodyLane #2764601 11/06/13 01:46 PM
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Well I have been unable to prove anything at all. I confronted him about the condoms and he has denied PA but has admitted to EA's. Now I am faced with possibly ever knowing. I am not sure where we are headed at this point. I am having major issues with trusting him completely. I also have a problem with the fact that I really think he is still associating with the OW (coworker) and he did show me one text he received, but I see a group message and another couple on the phone bill. Not sure what to do.

boo #2764605 11/06/13 02:04 PM
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Originally Posted by boo
Well I have been unable to prove anything at all. I confronted him about the condoms and he has denied PA but has admitted to EA's. Now I am faced with possibly ever knowing. I am not sure where we are headed at this point. I am having major issues with trusting him completely. I also have a problem with the fact that I really think he is still associating with the OW (coworker) and he did show me one text he received, but I see a group message and another couple on the phone bill. Not sure what to do.
Can you schedule a polygraph?
Polygraph Testing


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2764607 11/06/13 02:04 PM
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Has he changed his contact information? He's still working with the OW?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2764610 11/06/13 02:17 PM
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He will not do a polygraph test.

He has not and yes he still works with her. He did show me a text from her regarding lunch at the office on Halloween, but I see two others and I never know if he is seeing her or not. I guess because I haven't asked him. That was a huge argument. He said that he didn't lie, that I didn't ask....so I guess I have to ask again. I am very aggravated and hurt.

boo #2764611 11/06/13 02:34 PM
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At this point you should plan for separation and plan B.
You need to find out who this woman is and prepare to expose to jer family and friends, as well as your own

BrainHurts #2764612 11/06/13 02:36 PM
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There is no need for him to take a polygraph at this point.
This is an active affair and he is just gaslighting you.

boo #2764613 11/06/13 02:40 PM
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Originally Posted by boo
He will not do a polygraph test.

He has not and yes he still works with her. He did show me a text from her regarding lunch at the office on Halloween, but I see two others and I never know if he is seeing her or not. I guess because I haven't asked him. That was a huge argument. He said that he didn't lie, that I didn't ask....so I guess I have to ask again. I am very aggravated and hurt.
He is still having an affair.

Who on OW's side have you exposed to?

Please read.
How to Plan B Correctly


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2764614 11/06/13 02:44 PM
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Please read this.
Please Explain Gaslighting


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2764616 11/06/13 02:52 PM
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So this is my question.....if he is still texting her in any way shape or form (including group text) then what do I do?

boo #2764618 11/06/13 02:58 PM
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Originally Posted by boo
So this is my question.....if he is still texting her in any way shape or form (including group text) then what do I do?

You should avoid angry outbursts or disrespectful judgements.
Simply say: " you make me feel very sad when you continue to carry on an affair and ruin our marriage"
Do not argue, and please focus on finding out about this woman
Your steps should be:

Get all info you can to expose this affair to your families ANd the workplace (president, ceo)
Prepare for Plan B

boo #2764619 11/06/13 03:00 PM
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Originally Posted by boo
So this is my question.....if he is still texting her in any way shape or form (including group text) then what do I do?
You demand he ends his affair and give a month to find another job and start preparing for Plan B.

Have you exposed this at their job?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2764621 11/06/13 03:12 PM
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I have a hard time being nice and not having angry outburst bc I am very very angry. He constantly tells me how hurt he is and how he can't get over my affair, but look at all that he has done and is doing!!!!!!

@Brainhurts: This was from one of my earlier posts:

The co worker at work..... besides all of the texts non stop, I found a sticky note "SMILE! I LOVE YOU! P=B" in work papers at my home. Her husband works at the same offic......I texted her when I found the sticky note and told her to back off. She called me and I let her have it and hung up. She in turn ran and told her supervisor. H got mad at me for all of this and said I shouldn't have yelled at her and I caused problems at his office. This infuriates me because I am not at fault and SHE called me!!!!

So here is another questions. Why would she run to the supervisor and not go to my husband. I know the answer but wondering what you all think. Also, another weird thing is that my husband wanted to move offices. The supervisor would not let him. He told me he asked the OW if she had anything to do with it or knew why and her reply was "Well your wife shouldn't have yelled at me and hung up on me." WTH????

boo #2764624 11/06/13 03:20 PM
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Did you expose to the OW's BH?

Did you do a proper workplace exposure? Has anyone you've exposed to called and put pressure on your WH?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2764634 11/06/13 03:34 PM
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I didn't have to because he heard it at the office is what I am told. His supervisor and co workers know. I don't think so regarding the pressure on her. I don't think anyone thought it was a big ordeal or maybe not that many people knew that I thought because 4 days after he was group texting with her.

boo #2764642 11/06/13 03:54 PM
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He actually called my brother to have my brother call and calm me down before I called everyone at his office. My brother told him to take a hike!

boo #2764686 11/06/13 08:20 PM
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Originally Posted by boo
I didn't have to because he heard it at the office is what I am told. His supervisor and co workers know. I don't think so regarding the pressure on her. I don't think anyone thought it was a big ordeal or maybe not that many people knew that I thought because 4 days after he was group texting with her.
Who told you this? Your WH? Unless you talked them yourself, you can't believe anything your WH says right now.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



boo #2764735 11/07/13 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted by boo
I didn't have to because he heard it at the office is what I am told. His supervisor and co workers know. I don't think so regarding the pressure on her. I don't think anyone thought it was a big ordeal or maybe not that many people knew that I thought because 4 days after he was group texting with her.

Dr Harley would probably advise you to write an exposure letter to the President of the Company. That is more effective than a word of mouth/rumor

Jedi_Knight #2764772 11/07/13 10:50 AM
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I think it is time to give him an ultimatum. I feel like i need to look for things because I am uneasy and I wouldn't be uneasy or untrusting if he didn't give me reason. I have things that I need answers to and I guess I need to take them into my own hands instead of relying on what he is telling me.

boo #2764790 11/07/13 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by boo
I think it is time to give him an ultimatum. I feel like i need to look for things because I am uneasy and I wouldn't be uneasy or untrusting if he didn't give me reason. I have things that I need answers to and I guess I need to take them into my own hands instead of relying on what he is telling me.

You need to follow the advice given. Ultimatums never work and they are huge lovebusters. Inform the workplace using the advice given. You get what you put in and your taking the easy way out.

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