Man if I had a nickel for every time my buddy told me that. Ya know - the one whose cheating wife came back to him?

My ex wife and her affair partner just passed the 2 year mark on their affair.
So they are the exceptions, like your ex wife

I seriously doubt that she is ever going to want to come back to me. I am old now, she is having too much fun. Why would she even consider it?

There is no way of knowing what she will want or do.
The beat thing you can do, as others have told me to do, is live a good life and e strong for your kids

I dropped my girls off at the usual meeting place -WalMart parking lot. Noticed the xW had taken a shower, wonder why. Oh, that's right, she is getting sex five to nine times a day, which is of course the most important thing to her, above family and commitment and whatever else.

I yelled at her good tonight, called her lots of choice names, told her all the damage she is doing to her kids. I guises it's a good thing I was by myself in my truck on the way home or she might have heard some of it.

Your children thank you for your control too

In all honesty I did breach a bit of a gasket earlier today with them in the car. I snapped at them a little about the POSOM and stuff. The holidays are coming up and I am going to be alone both Thanksgiving and Christmas and the thought of it has me pretty depressed.

Well, in the course of the little rant, my 4-year-old blurted something that was pretty surprising. She said "but mommy loves you." Huh? Did she hear that somewhere? Did she tell her that recently? I didn't really press her on it because she is 4 1/2, but I found it pretty interesting. You know how 4 year old logic works, though, so I can't really take it seriously.

Well I zcan tell you that she doesn't love you.
No more than Madussa loved those who gazed upon her

Wow. I thought I was done getting gut-punched for today.

Well I dont mean to gut punch you but Christ showed us love, by giving his life for us.
Look to Christ.

Not to a word your ex wife does not understand

She was brought up in a Christian house, went to a Christian school K-12, has an uncle who is a Baptist Pastor for pete's sake. You'd think she would at least try to adhere to scripture. But no, she broke I don't know how many commandments for some strange. Kicked me to the curb because I couldn't find a job. Real upstanding Christian, that one.

Wow. Got a doozy tonight. Thanksgiving eve of all things. I think I am just wanting some help translating the meaning behind this angry text I got from the xW this afternoon. Let me set it up a little and tell you what her circumstances are.

She is broke, unable to pay all her bills. The house is still in foreclosure, apparently, and she tells me she is still there "for the time being". Not sure exactly what is going on for sure. She texted me the other day asking me if I could take any of the dogs, so it is apparent that she is having trouble affording dog food. We've always fed them quality food that costs $50 for a 40lb bag. Anyway, she's trying to unload some of her expenses onto me.

So I get a text from a storage place that we are renting a unit from. The business was paying for this since most of the stuff in it was business-related. The credit card that it was being paid with is one that she has. She canceled my copy of that card. So they text me saying there is a problem with the card, and who do they talk to about it, and I told them. They asked for her number and I gave it to them. Then they asked me to have her call them, so I texted her "Call storage plus tomorrow". Right? Just doing what I've been asked.

More circumstantial stuff� Our 4 yr old is sick today. She texted me yesterday asking if I was off or if I was working. I said "working". She said that she'd have to take our daughter in to her job. What am I supposed to do? Take off work with no notice so SHE can work? Another thing - I still haven't paid any child support. I need to contact the child support extortion office and have my 'account' adjusted to reflect the $1750 she owes me from our state refund check that I never saw a penny of. After that I will square it up. okay, having said all that, here is the text I got:
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our storage unit with your name on it is now paid through until the 21st. Congratulations. You have until then to get your belongings out if you do not wish to keep it any longer.
If you can afford a lawyer you can afford to provide Netflix for your children and any other belongings they may need at your house, including the following:
Clothes, pajamas, socks, underwear, diapers, jackets, gloves, etc.
Car seats...do not show up without them. You are required by law to have them. I am not making the girls stand out in the cold any longer than necessary to switch vehicles any further.
Do not tell me to call any more people because something is due. ESPECIALLY when my name isn't even on the account. Your lack of responsibility is astonishing. Kind of ironic how you used to knock (my cousin)'s husband "Joe" about not providing for his kids. Maybe some day you'll grow up and stop blaming me for everything, highly unlikely I realize, but for the sake of the girls it'd be nice. Pretty sad when you fill a 4 year olds mind with nonsense and burden her with things she cannot control. You are sick for being so selfish to feed (our daughter) with such bs on your own account. Read some literature on divorced parenting. Neither parent is to talk negatively about the other parent or their future significant others. I have abided by this but you most definitely cannot say the same. You are only going to confuse them even more by your rants. But after all, it makes YOU feel better to say what's on your mind to innocent children, so that's ok right?
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Okay, there it is. She is obviously very angry. The thing about the ranting is partially true, but she is getting her info from a 4 year old, ok. My daughter starts bringing up the POSOM and I respond. I am not going to ignore her. I am only telling her factual things about him and what happened, and yes, I should probably zip it, but it bothers me when she starts talking about him. I try taking it with a grain of salt but ya know.. it is still a very sore subject. xW thinks I need to just accept it with a grin, apparently.

My xW has always had this attitude that if I have a job, then there must be this magical money fairy that will pay for everything. When we were together we made probably $85k one year, had a mortgage of $900, yet we had ZERO savings at the end of the year. How does that happen? I always suspected her of squirreling money away behind my back but apparently she didn't. She just loves to blow money with no regard for the consequences. So now I am working and again I think she believes that I have a magic money fairy that can make things all better. I moved into a rental 3 weeks ago and that was a $2500 weekend right there. I am trying to keep MY expenses down so I can pay the damn child support when that comes around. I have a credit union breathing down my neck for a line of credit that they need to start seeing payments on again.

So what are your thoughts on this? Why is she still so angry with me? Why is she looking to me to fix things? She has moved on, right? Where's the POSOM with the wallet?

I would ignore the texts and go a step further;;
Block her from text messaging you.
Use an IM for messaging

I do ignore the messages. It is so tempting to respond in kind but I have grown quite disciplined in that area. Still need to work on some other areas, of course. I am a work in progress.

The thing that bugs me is that knowing all that I know, I would be a fantastic husband if she ever came out of the fog and wanted to reconcile. But yeah, that ain't happening until she wants it to.

There is no depositing anything into any love bank with this woman. There is no bank. All she wants to do is make my life miserable. Everything is about money and everything is my fault. I am getting tired of this. I understand why the suicide rate is higher around this time of year, too. While you are all with your families and friends, I am in my crappy little rental house alone, no family, no friends. Maybe I am the problem after all.

I'm sorry that you are having a bad day

I'm having a bad life.

How many people have recovered their marriages after this long? After this much time has passed and the WW is still with the POSOM? I am guessing very few.

I am in Plan B as much as I can be, but then I'm told that I have opportunities to make deposits in a love bank that doesn't exist and can't exist as long as that POS is still in her life. She shows zero signs of feeling guilty. I don't think I can ever be friendly with her after all of this. The only redemption will come if she stops the other relationship and indicates that she made a mistake. Then I might be willing to talk, but she'll have a long way to go to prove to me that she is serious. She has done so much damage, she has no idea.

I also just learned from my 4 year old that Thanksgiving was attended by my xW's sister and her family, and the POSOM and his kids. One big new happy family. I have been completely expelled from my own family. I wonder how they'd feel if I were expelled even further.

Did the father in law come?

Im sorry, Blind. You can't control her actions and morals, or that of her family. Keep in a dark plan b and ignore what is happening on her side. Dwelling on it serves no purpose and only makes you depressed. Time to rebuild your life and build a new social network.

Dont let her choices defeat you. Time to start a new and happy life. Trust in God and give it time.