I am so sorry Writer. (((Writer)))

Dear writer one,

It is unimaginable what you have had to go through in this short period. You are in my prayer.

Happyheart

I am so sorry to hear this news, writer. Condolences to you and your family.

Just saying I am sorry to hear this just does not even seem sufficient. Hugs to you.

(((writer)))) you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm glad you got that time with your mom at the end, and that she is at peace now.

Thank you everyone.

Spending time with family today.

I bought a yellow rose (my mother's favorite flower) and it is sitting on our dining room table now in a lovely little pot. I think of her every time I see it.

I am sorry for your loss. The rose sounds like a lovely reminder of your love for your mother.

Hugs and prayers to you in this time.

Oh writer...i am so sorry... (((writer)))

((((((writer))))))))

Thank you everyone.

All of this would be so much easier if it weren't for my 19-year-old son too. He's being absolutely horrible.

He's never had a job, he doesn't go to school. He does nothing but sleep all day. Every time I asked him to baby sit last week when I needed to go be with my mom, he complained and became verbally abusive. I had to have my 24-year-old son drive an hour to come watch DD5 the night before my mom passed away because DS19 refused. Yesterday, after my mother passed away, DS19 took off for 12 hours. This morning, I asked him to baby sit for 2-3 hours so that my DH and I could have a little time alone for the first time in over a week. He got verbally abusive, refused to watch her, and left the house.

I'm just done. He's a terrible person. He expects us to provide him with food and clothing and a free place to live while he hangs out with his friends, skates, and smokes weed all day. He contributes nothing to anyone. He won't do anything if there isn't something in it for him.

I just can't take this anymore. As if all of this wasn't hard enough already, my own son has to make it 100 times worse.

I'm sorry your son is making such a difficult time even worse. You need to put him out of your home. Are you planning to move as soon as possible?

I agree. He's an adult and isn't respecting your rules and your home.

Writer, maybe it's time to stop enabling him. If I were you, I would give him 2 weeks to get out. In that time he can get a job flipping burgers and rent a room nearby. Or he could get a cot at some homeless shelter until he gets his act together. Kicking him out wold be the best thing that ever happened to him.

We were going to give him until January 1st to either get a job or enroll in school full time. But after the way he's been acting this entire week, I told him today as he was leaving not to bother coming back. He can arrange to come pick up his stuff, but he isn't welcome in my home anymore. He is constantly rude and disrespectful to everyone. I just cannot handle having him live here anymore.

SugarCane, we're looking to move ASAP after the holidays. Hoping to get out of CA if DH can find a job. It is just too expensive to live here and I don't like it here. Now, there really isn't any reason for us to stay in this area. DH's parents and sister are still here, but we don't really see them very often. My oldest DS is still here, about an hour away, but DS21 and DD22 are both in Colorado. I would love to move there. It's a beautiful state.

Are there jobs in Colorado? Could your H simply give up his job in CA and you all move there? Don't you have a financial cushion, from your mother, that you could eke out for a while? Your situation in California sounds desperate; you should just get out of there if you possibly can.

Yes, we could do that. It makes me nervous though. It seems that it's easier to find a job when you are currently employed. I've suffered quite a stigma from being unemployed for so long, even though it was a choice for me to stay home and care for my daughter. Employers don't seem to care about that. Of course, my DH's gap in employment would hopefully be much smaller. And it would certainly be easier for him to look for a job if we were in the area where he's looking. Long-distance job searching isn't easy.

Try signing up for the major head-hunter websites in addition to going to the Colorado state job searching website at www.connectingcolorado.com. I hope things work out so that you can move to a new area.

Thanks for the link! I just sent it to my DH.

Is Colorado a low cost of living state? I would think that Texas or Oklahoma would be an easier transition because the COL is very low in addition to very low unemployment. And companies will be busting loose with hiring in February and March. Very few companies are hiring right now.