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She liked the flowers;
Here's a text. She also called:
These flowers are amazing! Beautiful! You are amazing!
Thank you!!!!
If I can call on this phone tell me Im on my break. Thank you!
Its one of the girls birthday today. I thought they were for her. I was doing a haircut and walked up to the front to sign for them and when she said my name I gasped! They are so beautiful!
Jedi, Im already falling so hard for you! Every day more and more
Last edited by Jedi_Knight; 12/04/13 12:42 AM.
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We are having a "movie date" where we watch the same movie at the same time.
The Fountainhead, starring Gary Cooper
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Well today we discussd physical appearance and she told me she is overweight (I can't see it in her pictures)
She said she weighs 205, and recently lost 30 pounds and is trying tl loose another 30.
I her I think she is very pretty and she would look fabulous with another 30 off.
I said that in any future marriage, physical attraction is a top emotiinal need fkr me (see text):
Physical attraction is high on my emotiinal needs list so it would be important for me that you lost the 30 amd maintained it throughout (future talk) marriage
Well, she hasn't responded and posted on facebook Live yourself and dknt change for others
Now, i don't want a mate thats obese and that's a fact.
Did I handle this respectfully and correctly?
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I think, if PA is an important EN, then you probably need to not be with someone who is or was obese as an adult. The odds against such a person being able to get to a weight you are comfortable with and, more importantly, to maintain it, are pretty slim.
So, while I think that the precise wording of your message was stark, to the extent that the underlying sentiment is legit (and MB says it is), you are probably better off if she IS offended than if she agreed to your request.
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I agree that perhaps your delivery could have been a tad softer, but hey, you're supposed to be a Freeloader right now, so it is what it is.
She wants someone to love her for who she is, as she is (and she apparently has a wonderful personality, as you fell quite hard and quickly) and you can't blame her for that.
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Text:
Jedi I have grown Inareasingly close to you over the past month. I did not realize you didnt look at all my pics on facebook. One of the values we share is that of sacrafice. Please take the time to look through my entire facebook profile. I really like you more than I set out to and am guarding my self right now. I like the way I look and am not seeking to change. I am hurt that I feel you were thinking I was something other than I am
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Text: Jedi I have grown Inareasingly close to you over the past month. I did not realize you didnt look at all my pics on facebook. One of the values we share is that of sacrafice. Please take the time to look through my entire facebook profile. I really like you more than I set out to and am guarding my self right now. I like the way I look and am not seeking to change. I am hurt that I feel you were thinking I was something other than I am Jedi, I think it's good that you mentioned this now rather than later. Sounds like she is happy the way she is, and I admire her honesty. And it sounds like her appearance (a slimmer appearance) is really important to you. If she's not willing, then this might be a deal-breaker for you. One of the things I look for - dating - is a person willing to accommodate the sensitivities of others. Not 'sacrifice' to accommodate, but willing to negotiate to make sure both are happy. This usually comes out very early in dating, if you're on the lookout. Doesn't sound like this is an area she'll bend on. 
"When you love someone, all your saved up wishes start coming out."
Elizabeth Bowen
(Changed my profile name, as it was appearing in Google searches. Yikes!)
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What is the polite way to communicate this to her and reply to her text above?
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I just read both of Dr Harleys letters on Physical Attractiveness and apparently somepeople get upset about it.
My sister thought I made a mistake but I feel its important to be honest, especially when the lady solicits my thkughts.
Should I possibly show her this article by Harley or would that be a love buster? (Disrespect)
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I sent this reply:
, I'm sorry that you feel hurt. I care for you deeply and want you to be happy. I was trying to communicate my emotiinal needs that I would need met in a marriage. I would never ask you to sacrifice for me.
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JK,
An important question is did she hide her weight from you or intentionally omit that fact?
This isn't a deal killer, but you certainly do not want to live with even a white liar anymore.
God Bless
Gamma
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Good point Gamma.
Also another thing to consider, weighing 205 would look different (male and female) if she is 5 feet tall verses 5' 8", along with other factors.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Good point Gamma.
Also another thing to consider, weighing 205 would look different (male and female) if she is 5 feet tall verses 5' 8", along with other factors. I'm 5'7" and weigh 120 lbs. 205 is a lot of poundage even at that height!
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I just read both of Dr Harleys letters on Physical Attractiveness and apparently some people get upset about it. Somewhere on this website is some some advice from Dr Harley about on-line dating. It said that you should limit virtual communications to two weeks without meeting face to face. I think he had in mind issues such as the one you are running into.
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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well at least I got to experience some communication and I don't feel bad because I communicated my emotional needs so this is the point of getting to know someone.
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Did she respond to your last text?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Did she respond to your last text? Yes she texted: I understand. And I appreciate your honesty. She also make several posts on Facebook about loving yourself and complain that men are superficial
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She sounds pretty passive aggressive, in regards to texting you one thing and then her facebook posts are sounding opposite.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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It's not a superficial thing, though. If she's attractive to you, she'll make deposits every time you see her. That totally makes sense to set yourself up for success and wait for someone who is beautiful to you.
If you were superficial you wouldn't have taken all this time to get to know her.
Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010
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Except he can't see her ... he does find her attractive based on her photos. Every time they text or talk he becomes even more attracted to her on a non-physical level.
The question is, is she so overweight that she will become unattractive in person? Either she's really photogenic, or she has some really good photoshopping skills, or Jedi isn't as opposed to being with an overweight person as he thinks he is.
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