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Joined: Dec 2013
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Just to add some ending. I didn't end up opening the card when I found it. I finally got the nerve up to open it last night, everything was gone. She had not left the house, but I had. So when she was asleep I scoured the house looking for it. couldn't find it anywhere.

I confronted her about it this morning before work. She admitted she was keeping in contact with the OM, she did not argue who the gifts were for. She insists that they are "Just friends" (don't they all) when I rebuked with "really? just friends?" she had the gall to reply "for now"

guess i'll be spending my workday on exposure plans.

One thing I'm somewhat nervous about; I have no problem exposing to the other BS. Even speaking to the OM himself, however, the OM is in a Motorcycle Club, and from looking at his posts and friends list, seems none of them appreciate marriage and actually reward infidelity. I really don't see the use in exposing to that group. Frankly I am also nervous of physical retaliation. the OM has numerous photos of him handling guns.

Has anyone had to deal with violent OM?

One last thing. I'd like to thank those of you that give kind, encouraging advice. Some people may react well to aggressive responses. I personally do not. I am going through this for the first time. I have very conflicted feelings, and I don't want to be made to feel like an idiot because I didn't preform exactly to your wishes.

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Originally Posted by Mr_splitsville
One thing I'm somewhat nervous about; I have no problem exposing to the other BS. Even speaking to the OM himself, however, the OM is in a Motorcycle Club, and from looking at his posts and friends list, seems none of them appreciate marriage and actually reward infidelity. I really don't see the use in exposing to that group. Frankly I am also nervous of physical retaliation. the OM has numerous photos of him handling guns.

Owning a gun does not make a person violent. 50% of US households own guns. I own several guns and so does about every person in my family.

You have no way of predicting who will or won't support your marriage, so you need to just go ahead and expose. Make a list and prioritize with family first then married people and then go into the single people unless he has 2000 contacts.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by Mr_splitsville
and from looking at his posts and friends list, seems none of them appreciate marriage and actually reward infidelity.

Most people don't CARE about infidelity and that is a general rule about all of the population. But you won't know who does or doesn't until you expose. You will get support from places you never expected.

And more importantly, when you expose to his friends, you may cause havoc in his life because he is probably in a relationship with other women. Exposing to this group may flush him out.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by Mr_splitsville
Has anyone had to deal with violent OM?

Mr_S,

You've got to "man-up". If you want to recover your marriage, getting your [censored] kicked by POSOM will actually be one of the least painful experiences you will go through. I'd take an [censored] kicking over the mental anguish I have felt at times. Of course both my wife's OM were total weenies so it's easy for me to make that claim.

What's the worst that could [but likely won't] happen? Is standing up for your M worth that risk? I don't think you would be here if it wasn't. Expose and save your WW from the nightmare she doesn't even know she's in.



Me: BH, 36 Military Officer
FWS: 36, repeat offender
Married: Valentine's Day 1998
DD-15/ DS-10
Almost recovered and ahead of schedule
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Most OM are weenies to begin with. They are very easy to run off because they are cowards. They are men of low character who hide in the dark. Just ask yourself what kind of a man has an affair with a married woman? A cockroach, that's who.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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My apologies to cockroaches for the insulting comparison.. grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Even a full patch hells angel won't shoot a man who confronts him for sleeping with his wife. Strangely enough, there is honor even amongst the worst of gangs, and standing up to another man for interfering in your family is one of them.

alis #2772172 12/23/13 01:04 PM
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Mr. Splitsville,

So let me get this straight. You don't have the guts to fight for your wife and your marriage, and you don't like being hit by 2x4's from us for not doing what you need to do.

This may not be the right place for you then, because we are here to help you FIGHT for your marriage, not enable you as you let POSOM plunder it.

If you want to save your marriage, fear and weak-minded diplomacy will not get the job done. You have to Man-up and fight. We are not here to help you enable your wayward wife. We are here to give you a time-tested, reliable strategy that will help you recover your marriage. If that is what you want, then start listening. The 2x4's your getting hit with are tough love.

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It's not easy being courageous. I understand your fear. But you have to conquer it. I suggest that you watch the film "Clear and Present Danger" this holiday season and let the example that Jack Ryan sets be a lesson for you. He is not a brawny tough guy in that movie, and he has to take on guys much tougher than him. But his courage is animated by a strong sense of justice and love of country. He doesn't desire the fight he gets embroiled in, but he takes it on admirably and smartly. You must do the same. And you don't have to put yourself in harm's way. But you do have to expose this and fight for your wife, even if it means confronting this POSOM. Let your wife see that you love her and will fight for her. I'm not advocating a physical confrontation, but I am advocating that you face the man and tell him to leave your wife alone and that you will be fighting for your marriage.

Last edited by Justthe3ofus; 12/23/13 01:13 PM.
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*like*

MrSplitsville, this coward should be very afraid of you. Here is the message you need to send him:



"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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That's what I'm saying, ML!

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I bet your WW would love a man who would "fight" for her. Instead of just releasing her to the scum...

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Originally Posted by Mr_splitsville
I confronted her about it this morning before work. She admitted she was keeping in contact with the OM, she did not argue who the gifts were for. She insists that they are "Just friends" (don't they all)


Then why do you keep confronting her if you know that she is going to try to gaslight you. All you are doing is tipping your hand and alerting her to be smarter.


Originally Posted by Mr_Splitsville
Has anyone had to deal with violent OM?

That is what the police and restraining orders are for. Does your phone have recording and video capability?

Seriously, OM are cowards.


ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

Recovered

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Originally Posted by Mr_splitsville
the OM is in a Motorcycle Club, and from looking at his posts and friends list, seems none of them appreciate marriage and actually reward infidelity.

I would be willing to bet that OM's motorcycle buddies will tell OM that your WW is too much trouble.

They want easy action on the side ... not trouble with the law.



ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

Recovered

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