I am willing to act as an internet IM if you choose to go no contact.

Keep yourself focused sir.
i know you hit rock bottom but look to others that have been there and climbed out.
Personally, i went from have 8 union employees to food stamps. Im climbing up now.\

Slyvester Stallone was homeless in his early acting career, sleeping in a train station.

Dont focus on the problems of the past, focus on today and the future

The only future that I care about is where my family is restored. I need to know how to make that happen. That is why I am here.

In the meantime I am working on becoming fabulously wealthy.

Sir, if you want your family restored then you need to Plan A;

However, I encourage you (and believe Dr Harley would) to obtain anti depressant medication.
Plan A is being spit in your face while you are washing her feet.

Been plenty of that already,

JK stop arguing with him please. This poster keeps making excuses for everything posted to him. Every interaction he has with his ex is a negative one from BOTH sides. He doesn't take the time to brainstorm solutions for his problems whether is Plan A or Plan B. Blind, you are propping up their relationship with your lovebusting behavior.

Have you read any of the books? Why did you willingly give up custody to her? Why when she obviously makes up statements about your daughter you entertain them? Are you going to church? Are you making any efforts to improve yourself? If so list them. Did you do a background check on POSOM? Personally, I would be doing anything in my power to protect my children.

When she starts with arguments via text or verbal compliment her. It would throw her off track. Them quickly switch to a pleasant neutral topic. The weather, a movie etc. If she persists politely say, "I do not want to argue so I will remove my self from this conversation. However, I am here to talk if you wish." Say it with zero anger.

Remember you married her. You know her better than POSOM. What does she like? What are her hobbies? Cater to them without being needy. If she likes coffe at Starbucks do a drop off pick up there. If she likes to work out, you should work out and give her an opportunity to see your new "bod" while being subtle. Because sir Plan Blind isn't working. So I challenge one night get a notepad and your smartphone and brainstorm some ideas. Try them as they work add them to your repertoire.

Another thing, during your rants I have yet to read ANY interaction that you personally have with your daughter. It is always something negative never positive. Challenge number two. Make the time with your daughter count instead of focusing on the fog blabber from your ex. I guarantee you will have a more positive outlook and your ex will see that positive glow. Cause it will make you more attractive in general. Its a new year why go through the same trash, doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. Another thing, if this hasn't been done already, get the visitations with your daughter court order and put in stone. It seems to me she drops off your daughter and uses you as a babysitter.

and

stop looking at facebook.

Just stop.

You are keeping yourself in grief by snooping.

Stop.

You WILL heal once you decide that healing is a good thing and will make YOU H.A.P.P.Y.

Choose happiness for yourself.

I have an extra copy of SaA. I have been thinking about sending it back with the girls and asking her to read it. What do you guys think? I'm not sure what she'd do with it.

The Facebook thing didn't bother me that much after the initial disgust. If anything it reinforced the fact that the POSOM is an [censored].

Didnt you do this a few months ago?

That is why you need antidepressants - to keep you acting sane and rationally when you have something so gut wrenching affecting your emotions.

But you reject the solutions that are offered to you. And you don't fully engage posters who are trying to help you. For example, try going through TranquilDark's post and answering each of his questions. Try making a to do list of the suggestions offered to you and working through the list.

You will feel much better when you have a plan that works and you are working the plan.

Blind,
There is no try. There is only do.

Either you Plan A or you Plan B. Make up your mind and stick to the plan. Self pity is going to get you the middle of a donut, and it certainly is not going to make you attractive to your exwife or children.

There is a reason you don't have a support group, Eeyore. Please try and reflect on that. You are in a very self-defeating cycle right now.

I'm sorry for the 2x4, but you need it, brother.

Did you read any of TD's post? From an outsider looking in at your position it appears to be perfect advice.

Repeating the same failed actions will not bring different results. Get it together and do some good for yourself and your daughter if nothing else. She deserves a positive relationship with her father that her mother has no control over. Go to court, get a set visitation schedule and be a great father. That should be priority #1 (NO EXCUSES, just get it done!)

I too resisted anti depressants. For years. Even though many people close to me gently and not so gently urged me to try them. I didn't want to take pills. I didn't want to feel fuzzy. I didn't want this that and the other but finally I tried them. Because life was excruciating and because depression was shaping my life in a very negative way.

Guess what? It helped! A lot! And I didn't feel fuzzy. I felt energized and more able to confront my life. I am so grateful I finally gave anti depressants a try and I kick myself for having waited so long.

You CAN have the family you want. You have to build it. It starts with you and your girls. Making your time with them really special. And you build a home and a family with them.

You seem to have contempt and rage towards your ex, which is understandable. She has behaved reprehensibly. Plan B. You have an offer for an IM. Do it!

Get some space from her and her energy for awhile and see if it changes how you feel. It will and you might find that you're more able to start building a life of fulfillment for yourself and your daughters.

Don't send her a copy of the book! You're divorced and she doesn't care. It's a lovebuster. Staying on contact is keeping a steady flow of lovebusting going between you two. This is going to continue to eat up your health and well being, what little is left of it.

Following your thread is excruciating. You are stuck in the mire and quite honestly, I think you like it there. It's familiar and nothing's your fault. Life has screwed you over and that's that.

you can have a totally different story if you want one. It's up to you.

I did but she sent it back. It was still in the bubble wrap when I sent it and I didn't say anything about it. I asked her about it later and she said she didn't know what it was. Who knows if that's true.

I can tell you that I am not the depressed train wreck I was when I joined this forum. I am fine for the most part. Most of the hurt comes from not seeing my girls and tucking them in every night. I think she still harbors more anger and resentment than me, as evidenced by the text exchange.

I still have people telling me that the POSOM won't last. I think he will hang around the barn as long as the cow is givin.

I wouldn't bet on him staying around for too long

Well, he's been around for two years. She is white, he is hispanic. Check out what he wrote on the aforementioned Facebook picture he posted:

"You know your white when you squeeze an Xmas tree in a hatchback"
(Referring to my xW having brought a Christmas tree home in her little car with it sticking out the back. Nice grammar, too.)

In the comments:

<friend of his>You racist son of a [censored]....

<POSOM> LMAO. You are too but I do love me some white girl!

Not real respectful, if you ask me. She liked his comment, though. She would, I guess she likes being owned by an Ahole.

---

A little peeved tonight. I got home and the city had shut off my water . No warning, no sticky note on the door - nothing. I had yet to change it over to my name but I haven't been here that long.

Sorry about the water.
Yea, it sounds like she likes being the property of a Mexican boyfriend.
next thing she will probably have his name tattooed on her bottom