I guess I'm fine with divorce but I'm not ok with her acting entitled to half of my life insurance when she is the one that is in a affair.

Oh yes sir!
Welcome to our terrible legal system

What type of life insurance policy was it? Did you pay the premiums or did she? Have you talked to your attorney about this?

It must be whole life.

Take a non-taxable loan out on the current value of the life insurance policy.

Then it's current value is diminished down to zero dollars. It's like taking out a loan from yourself. Then after things are settled, you can pay back your loan to your policy holder.

Check out the time-frames for the repayment period and ask your accountant to ensure there will be no personal tax ramifications.

LTL

Going to talk to attorney about it. I had the policy before I met my ww.

Good to hear that you are going to talk to your attorney about it. I was thinking you had the policy before you married her. That is why I was asking who had been paying for the premiums.

Keep us updated.

Will do. Been coming out of my account since day 1. I think she is hurting for money big time and hopes I will roll over for her.

Hi, I'm sorry for you & the kids, and I wish you all the best!

I wanted to asked (perhaps I missed it in your posts) if you, your son or stepdaughter are in any kind of (family/individual) counselling or in support groups (for people&children going through divorce)?

I'd suggest this because I think it would, especially for the kids, help them immensely, while also hopefully look good in potential custody disputes. If you have no legal right regarding DSD, I would still (after talking to your lawyer) try talking to the WW about it, or at least try to set something up (some sort of counselling/groups) and informing WW/DSD that the possibility is there, that it is free/covered by insurance/you're paying/you're willing to foot half the bill/etc.

From what you've written, it seems as though your DSD is struggling a lot with all of it, that's why I'm writing about it, even if you might no have any legal rights...

Also, make sure you are constantly involved with your kid's/kids' school(s?). (after talking to your lawyer) Notify the teachers about the situation, ask them to pay extra attention to your kids etc. Not only will it be beneficial to the kids, but will look good in court. Also, does the school offer counselling?

I apologize for the long post, but from my personal and professional experience I often see how badly kids need lots of family and professional help/support in situations like this, even/especially if they don't show it, and that parents sometimes aren't aware of all the possible ways of helping them.

Best wishes!

Sorry to hear that. Your doing well getting a lawyer, the fact she hasn't hired a lawyer makes me think this was a decision to quell the wrath of the POSOM. What is your end game? Are you still trying to reconcile?

The OM may be helping her play lawyer

I do know that both kids are in therapy that my insurance cover. My end game is just survive this and try to be a better person if the marriage is saved great if not great. Either way I've grown pretty tired of this and I want something to happen.

Thanks for the answer! I hope you have a good support system as well for yourself!

Best wishes

I have a great support system. My son does also. My hope is that I've been a very good rolemodel for both kids, I hope I showed them that I fought for them and myself.

Don't engage her with legal talk. Whether you want to reconcile of not. If she tries tell her your attorney handles that. When you talk legal with her you show your hand and leaves her with the impression you want to bargain.

Thanks for the advice. I know I would not want to talk to her about any legal manners. Im just glad in utah they so frown upon adultry.

YAY!

Yes they do!!