My husband is not remorseful (said so himself) and seems to have found the girl of his dreams in the OW.

Even though I filed for divorce and he has no reason now to end the A, I'm assuming at some point this A will fizzle out...

Am I correct? What r the chances he had found the love of his life?

The odds are the affair will die within 6 months.
Dr Harley recently commented on his Radio Show that he has counseled nearly 50,000 couples...and is unaware of a single affairage (that's what he calls the less than 5% pf affairs that result in marriage) that is successful!
He said that he has counseled many affairage partners and they all say the affair was a mistake!

Do you listen to the Radio Show?
You can listen on any smartphone app for free.....
or listen online at home for free.

I listen while I do house chores....and its a great source of information and encouragement.

Does the affair begin at the time sex/intimacy happens or when the secrecy begins??

When I read online how most affair end around 6 months, what is the first few months were emotional and not physical?

Also, if my husband has been served papers and he now knows he can put his attention to the OW, does the affair have a better chance of becoming something real and long term?

The OW knows that your WH is a liar and a cheater, and will hurt the people he loves. How do you form a real and long term relationship with someone like that??

There isn't a clock that is counting down, lacole. But odds are in the favor of the couple lovebusting each other and having second thoughts within months of the BS getting out of the way(plan B). Right now, they are in conflict with you. Without you in the picture, they will have no choice but to see the conflict with eah other.

Funny thing, the OW does know that my husband is married with kids and still doesn't care about what is happening and continues to stay with him. Doesn't sound like she is one with a strong moral compass so maybe that fact that he is a liar and a cheat really don't matter to her at all....

Kiss' AP knew that he was married and had 4 kids. When I confronted her and showed her the picture of the kids, she said that she didn't "give a damn" about them.

While the OW might not care, your WH may come out of his fog when he realizes that his AP doesn't give a damn about his kids, that his friends and family want NOTHING to do with her and will never accept her and that his AP is not even comparable to the wife who fought for him and loves him and is the mother of his children. This is why Kiss broke up with his AP.

Yes. When two people are having an affair their "taker" is in full control.
They make irrational decisions and dont care about harm they cause others.
Thats why legal protection is so important, because otherwise the husband could juat withdraw all the monies and leave the wife destitute.

My wife left our family for a drug addict and convicted child abuser!

Wow - so awful the stories are here...

I have protected myself and so glad I have, not only by serving the divorce papers but going back to court next month to have temp financial support ordered. My husband likes to hold $$ over my head as a punishment. I just don't want to deal with it anymore.

Now, our household bills are about 6k per month. My husband makes about 30k more then I do (at least). He told me a few days ago he was willing to give me $1800 a month and felt that was more then fair.

My lawyer laughed saying he earns more yet only wants to pay about 30% of the monthly bills. Guess food and heat for his kids isn't a concern.

I said nothing to my husband knowing that it will be resolved next month on court (he isn't aware of the court date yet).

He deserves all he gets. Between this A, years of gambling, verbal and emotional abuse, not caring one lick about me....

I'm glad you have an attorney working for you for the D. Things will get better for you. How soon are you going to Plan B?

He claims he is moving out by 2/1.

Nine days is good. When is the D final?

Well - in CT is a mandatory 90 day waiting period. Earliest would be April but something tells me it won't be that easy....

Last bit of clarification needed:

Since I havready filed/served my H will that enable him to never come out of the fog? If he has only the OW and nothing/no one else airing for him (BS) then why does ever have to leave the fog?

Yes, thats a common question.
People leave the "fog" because they can only act irrational for so long before facing massive consequences.

For example, the 55 year old man that leaves his wife and kids and buys a corvette and drives off into the Mexican sunset with his 20 year old Secretary appears to be riding off into the sunset...but eventually he will face issues such as child support, social disapproval and more importantly...

Every relationship has conflict! Currently your husband is with a woman that adores everything he says but that cant last for long because conflict in inevitable.

That is why these affairs last so shortly...

Thx - makes sense.

I would also think this would apply to a WS that is using the affair as an exit to a bad marriage....they may be getting out of a bad marriage, but at some point conflict will arise within the affair as well as creating another set of problems..ie: custody, child support, financial issues, etc...

No escape....

Ive heard many refer to "exit affairs" but I have never heard Dr Harley mention that term on his radio show.
Having an affair is such an irrational unhealthy thing to do that it is rarely planned.

After my H was caught having his A, he conveniently told me that he had wanted a divorce for years, yet never had the courage to ask.

Funny, suddenly he has the courage when the OW is in the picture.
He was trying to say that his A and the OW had no corilation to him suddenly getting the courage to ask for a divorce....??!! Really...

Wow - just as he gets the courage he just happens to start an A!!

Lying and justifying....

Yes.
The very term "Exit Affair" is an excuse used by cheaters.
Unfortunately, popular literature and many counselors and doctors use that term also.

They all say that. Did you ever read my fWH's first post? Click on the link below that says kiss.