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lacole Offline OP
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Interesing read....

I was good enough to be married to for 21 years, birth and raise his kids, but a cook his food, wash his clothes, pay the bills, etc...BUT suddenly, by coincidence, he has the courage to get out now....when a 29 year old comes into the picture. He is 50.

I believe this will it last. Not sure how long, but these two can't possibly be the ones who out shine all the others and become a forever couple....

He is loosing so much. It's a shame all tr effort he is putting into this A wasn't put into making a great marriage.


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Originally Posted by lacole
Interesing read....

I was good enough to be married to for 21 years, birth and raise his kids, but a cook his food, wash his clothes, pay the bills, etc...BUT suddenly, by coincidence, he has the courage to get out now....when a 29 year old comes into the picture. He is 50.

I believe this will it last. Not sure how long, but these two can't possibly be the ones who out shine all the others and become a forever couple....

He is loosing so much. It's a shame all tr effort he is putting into this A wasn't put into making a great marriage.
thats why it will fail. He will resnt the OW because he made a great sacrifice for her and she won't live up to expectations. They will lovebust each other until one of them runs away to another bad relationship. I see it alot in the military affairs ruin the moral compass and judgment of an individual. They say its not about making mistakes that defines you but what you do after your mistakes.

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lacole Offline OP
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In the meantime....he is mean an snappish and generally ignores everyone.

He is having the A and wanted the divorce, but I get the bad attitude???

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Originally Posted by lacole
In the meantime....he is mean an snappish and generally ignores everyone.

He is having the A and wanted the divorce, but I get the bad attitude???
Are you in Plan B?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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lacole Offline OP
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Yes -

Why do I get the crap attitude??


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Originally Posted by lacole
Yes -

Why do I get the crap attitude??
Because he's wayward and waywards are manipulators and always turn things.

If you're in Plan B then how are you "getting his attitude"?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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lacole Offline OP
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I don't have to talk to him to get the attitude...I see him at sports functions, etc....just the vibe he puts off...jerk.

Do they know they are manipulating and turning things around?
Or do they shut off that button??

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Originally Posted by lacole
I don't have to talk to him to get the attitude...I see him at sports functions, etc....just the vibe he puts off...jerk.

Do they know they are manipulating and turning things around?
Or do they shut off that button??
Then you aren't in Plan B if you see him. This is why Dr. Harley recommends a dark Plan B. Every time you see him or hear about him it sets you back.

I'm very concerned for your health. Are you on ADs?

How can you get into a dark Plan B?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by lacole
Interesing read....

I was good enough to be married to for 21 years, birth and raise his kids, but a cook his food, wash his clothes, pay the bills, etc...BUT suddenly, by coincidence, he has the courage to get out now....when a 29 year old comes into the picture. He is 50.

I believe this will it last. Not sure how long, but these two can't possibly be the ones who out shine all the others and become a forever couple....

He is loosing so much. It's a shame all tr effort he is putting into this A wasn't put into making a great marriage.

It is ALL fog!


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lacole Offline OP
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So I just told my older son about everything.
He has been away at college and I have been unable to tell
Him about the bad marriage, divorce, husbands A and my A 15 years ago.

He is very upset. Mad initially at just my husband and now mad at me for what I did 15 years ago. I told him I tried so hard to make the marriage work, that I stood by his dad through all his problems, gambling addiction, etc.

He won't even speak to me....what do I do???

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You did the right thing for now. Your continuing Actions of Openness and Honesty will speak much louder than any measly words could say, although he too will need to see both the words of remorse and the coinciding actions to back them up.

Is he home from school, or still away?

Keep asking for advice.

LTL

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Originally Posted by lacole
So I just told my older son about everything.
He has been away at college and I have been unable to tell
Him about the bad marriage, divorce, husbands A and my A 15 years ago.

He is very upset. Mad initially at just my husband and now mad at me for what I did 15 years ago. I told him I tried so hard to make the marriage work, that I stood by his dad through all his problems, gambling addiction, etc.

He won't even speak to me....what do I do???


Hes a young man.
Give him space and time.

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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by lacole
I don't have to talk to him to get the attitude...I see him at sports functions, etc....just the vibe he puts off...jerk.

Do they know they are manipulating and turning things around?
Or do they shut off that button??
Then you aren't in Plan B if you see him. This is why Dr. Harley recommends a dark Plan B. Every time you see him or hear about him it sets you back.

I'm very concerned for your health. Are you on ADs?

How can you get into a dark Plan B?


They are still living together

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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by lacole
I don't have to talk to him to get the attitude...I see him at sports functions, etc....just the vibe he puts off...jerk.

Do they know they are manipulating and turning things around?
Or do they shut off that button??
Then you aren't in Plan B if you see him. This is why Dr. Harley recommends a dark Plan B. Every time you see him or hear about him it sets you back.

I'm very concerned for your health. Are you on ADs?

How can you get into a dark Plan B?


They are still living together
Then this isn't Plan B at all.

lacole,

When will you be going into Plan B?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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lacole Offline OP
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So husband and I told kids about divorce, affair, etc.

Kids very hurt and upset of course.
When they asked my H pointed questions about his A he dodged and darted around them, made excuses and diverted.
All that I expected.

Kids deserved to hear the truth.

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Originally Posted by lacole
So husband and I told kids about divorce, affair, etc.

Kids very hurt and upset of course.
When they asked my H pointed questions about his A he dodged and darted around them, made excuses and diverted.
All that I expected.

Kids deserved to hear the truth.
That is why you should've told them the truth on your own.

Do they know the truth?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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lacole Offline OP
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The boys knew the truth before we all sat down together. I told them.
They both called my H out on many things....yet never got the truth.

It's a shame.

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Originally Posted by lacole
The boys knew the truth before we all sat down together. I told them.
They both called my H out on many things....yet never got the truth.

It's a shame.
Glad you told them the truth. The kids know their dad is a liar.

When will you be able to get into Plan B? Is he moving out?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Only 6 more days to Plan B and your H moving out, right?

Hang in there!


W (me) - 40
H - 44
M 15 years, 2 kids
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And good job telling the truth about was going on.


W (me) - 40
H - 44
M 15 years, 2 kids
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