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Well?!  Yes ma'am! Lol... So earlier yesterday I was feeling a bit under the weather. I texted AMY to let her know that I still wanted to see her but I would understand if she wanted to postpone. She replied, "I want to see you tonight." Fair enough! That night I picked her up and took her to a wine bar for dinner and then The Wolf of Wall Street. Side bar, that movie is morally bankrupt! It was a great evening. Dinner was perfect, the conversation was wonderful and I my date was beautiful. At one point I told her that I was nervous but not as much as the first two dates. She told me that I was really good at dating. When I inquired what she meant, she said that I opened does for her, treated her like a lady and generally acted like a gentleman. She's been waiting for me to make a mistake but so far I hadn't. After the date, I drove her home. The car ride was more... tense. When I walked her to her door she turned around after opening it, hugged me and then kissed me! It was really, really wonderful. We agreed to see each other again and then I drove my happy butt home. What a great evening with a great girl! I feel horrible today; I'm exhausted and sick but it was sooooo worth it. This morning I texted TINA and HELEN that I had to cancel our dates for tonight because I had found someone I wanted to date exclusively. So... that's what happened. I haven't told AMY I'm not going to see anyone else; I don't know if that would be a good idea at this point but I couldn't in good conscience see other women when I just want to date her. We're going to see each other next week sometime; date/time/location to be determined as of yet. I'm really looking forward to it! Now I just need to figure out how to "play it cool."  The Wolf of WallStreet was awful. That must have been an awkward movie to sit through with a date.  Was the car ride home tense because of the movie or because it was ??? about a good night kiss? It was definitely tense because of the kiss. The movie was devoid of any morality. That I think was a bit weird because she and I are both pretty moral people... but it was ok. I think she was trying to figure out how the date was going to end and I know I was nervous about it... lol
Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12
S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
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Oh come on...
James Bond could be sleeping with one woman and meeting another for cocktails an hour later.. Bond probably wasn't interested in a MB relationship that could eventually lead to a wonderful and fulfilling marriage either.  No he wasnt. Unfortunately, his life as a secret agent wouldnt be MB compatible
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Do I get this timeline straight?
- 9th januari: dates planned with 4 unknown woman incl. Amy
- 31th januari: dating Amy exclusive.
I am going to get slaughtered for this question maybe, but I like bold difficult questions:
Isn't this going WAY TOO fast?
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Do I get this timeline straight?
- 9th januari: dates planned with 4 unknown woman incl. Amy
- 31th januari: dating Amy exclusive.
I am going to get slaughtered for this question maybe, but I like bold difficult questions:
Isn't this going WAY TOO fast? No, it's a fair question. I think "too fast" depends on the people involved here. But really what have I done? I've weeded out the other women for whatever reason and declined first dates with two more. I haven't broached exclusivity with AMY and I haven't taken down my dating profile on OKCupid. I may do both those sometime soon but all I've done so far is deem the other dating partners unsuitable. I took down the other two dating sites in large part because I need a break from dating multiple people anyway. So what happens if I've made a horrible decision and AMY either drops me or I end it with her in two weeks? I turn it all back on and start fresh... no harm, no foul. I don't "think" I'm moving too fast but I'm curious what the MB collective thinks.
Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12
S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
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I think this Amy girl is probably seriously good looking, is intelligent, and kind, so you are going to focus on her because she absolutely has your attention and none of the others compare. I would do the same. That said, be careful to notice her intent and actions. If you are anything like most men the prettier she is the easier it is to miss the red flags.
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Harley often encourages single callers to ask their dates about their philosophy on relationships.
Are you doing this?
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I think this Amy girl is probably seriously good looking, is intelligent, and kind, so you are going to focus on her because she absolutely has your attention and none of the others compare. I would do the same. That said, be careful to notice her intent and actions. If you are anything like most men the prettier she is the easier it is to miss the red flags. I'm keeping an eye out, trust me. I'm good at noticing red flags but I'm much less adept at heeding them. It's pretty easy for me to explain them away when I shouldn't.
Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12
S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
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Harley often encourages single callers to ask their dates about their philosophy on relationships.
Are you doing this? Yes, indeed I am. I often float MB ideas regarding relationships by the women I date and see what they say. I haven't done so with AMY yet I don't think... but plan on it soon.
Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12
S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
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And... AMY just called to say she didn't think we should date anymore because she was seeing someone else and while we hadn't discussed exclusivity, she felt bad that she went on a date last night with another guy. Sigh... carbon copy almost to SUSAN.
So I hung up the phone with her and then called her back almost immediately because... I don't know why honestly. We talked for a bit and she stated that she felt guilty for going on a date but she had really wanted to meet this guy for a long time and she really enjoyed herself. She enjoyed going on dates with me as well and loved our conversations. I told her that I hadn't assumed we were exclusive and that I didn't mind continuing to see her if she was interested now that her cards were on the table so to speak. She said that while she doesn't want to date multiple people, she could try for a little while and would like to see me. So... we're seeing each other Monday; I'm going over to her place after work.
There you go MB community... a kink. I could use some advice and guidance here. I'm not ready to give up on AMY yet but directly competing with another man for a woman is not something I've done before. My gut is in knots and I'm kind of a mess right now.
Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12
S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
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Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12
S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
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It doesn't suck.
Just date Amy if she is interested but don't expect to be her one and only. Enjoy going out. Enjoy kissing her if she wants to do that.
Don't get caught up in obsessing about 'owning' her as yours.
She is a free agent.
You either chose to hang out with her knowing that or you don't participate.
This will give you the freedom to date others too.
You found Amy pretty quickly and there are other Amy-like women out there.
Okay?
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Crap.
She could either (a) being completely honest with you (which I don't think is the case...) (b) be really liking some other guy or (c) started getting nervous that you were getting a little too serious too fast. or a little bit of both b and c.
That's why I kept telling you to keep the profile open and just go with the flow. I feel like that has happened to me a couple times now...where the guy just gets way too serious too fast and it makes me uncomfortable.
I say go over Monday and try to just have fun and see what happens. Hang in there!
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I say go over Monday and try to just have fun and see what happens. Hang in there! x 2
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I know she's a free agent; I promise I never lost sight of that. What I say here about my emotions, feelings, etc isn't how I convey myself on our dates either. I think the only thing we've done that could be considered "fast" is we fell into casual daily texting about our days, etc.
I guess the thing that has me frazzled is I was very close to her dropping me today. I'm glad I called her back but still frazzled. I will see her Monday but I'm not sure what to expect at this point when I walk in that door. I'll do my best to be confident. She said I've done nothing wrong and everything right... so... I'll keep doing that I guess.
Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12
S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
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Yeah, but we can tell, tcc! Trust me! When you guys start getting serious, you drop hints like crazy. My girlfriends and I have discussed this MANY times... Even if you weren't and that's not the problem or whatever....If it doesn't work out, brush it off and go on to the next one! It's not that big a deal! You'll be over it in a couple of days and NEXT!
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Yeah, but we can tell, tcc! Trust me! When you guys start getting serious, you drop hints like crazy. My girlfriends and I have discussed this MANY times... Even if you weren't and that's not the problem or whatever....If it doesn't work out, brush it off and go on to the next one! It's not that big a deal! You'll be over it in a couple of days and NEXT! Maybe so, maybe so. You ladies have uncanny intuitions. I'll play it cool for a couple of days and then see how Monday goes. I'm not going to go meekly... I'm going to be fun and kiss the hell out of her if she lets me.
Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12
S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
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Are you going to start your profile back up?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Yeah, but we can tell, tcc! Trust me! When you guys start getting serious, you drop hints like crazy. My girlfriends and I have discussed this MANY times... Even if you weren't and that's not the problem or whatever....If it doesn't work out, brush it off and go on to the next one! It's not that big a deal! You'll be over it in a couple of days and NEXT! Maybe so, maybe so. You ladies have uncanny intuitions. I'll play it cool for a couple of days and then see how Monday goes. I'm not going to go meekly... I'm going to be fun and kiss the hell out of her if she lets me. There ya go!!! lol
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Are you going to start your profile back up? The profile is still up, only took down match and tinder. I may turn them both back on depending on how Monday goes but I think I am slightly burnt out and raw on the whole dating thing. It's been about a month and a half of solid dating (I was at it before I started this thread) so I think I'm going to have to evaluate next week whether I want to take a break. I'm not feeling well (kids have me their cold) and the thought of trying right now isn't appealing. Maybe later.
Last edited by tccoastguard; 02/01/14 01:30 PM.
Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12
S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
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Are you going to start your profile back up? The profile is still up, only took down match and tinder. I may turn them both back on depending on how Monday goes but I think I am slightly burnt out and raw on the whole dating thing. It's been about a month and a half of solid dating (I was at it before I started this thread) so I think I'm going to have to evaluate next week whether I want to take a break. I'm not feeling well (kids have me their cold) and the thought of trying right now isn't appealing. Maybe later. No problem with evaluating for later. It's a good idea to give yourself time. Things always look dim when you don't feel well. Get to feeling well, friend.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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