Thanks Brain, I appreciate it! I'll do my best.

I went out with dd8 to buy super bowl food for my party tomorrow and I think I worked this whole AMY thing out in my head. I have my way forward and if it doesn't work out, I'll deal with it and move on. But I'm not rolling over because some guy caught her eye. I'm a sexy, intelligent and all around awesome guy. I have a lot to offer. This other guy... not my problem.

Does anyone wonder if Amy was just making herself the more assertive partner in the relationship in these early stages by pulling away and seeing if TC would continue in pursuit?

What if TC has a decent time this coming Monday, but he calls the time short of what she might expect? TC could have additional plans to get together with some friends and leave her wondering what else he has going on.

You two are NOT exclusive, but i feel that she sensed that you were heading in that direction sooner than she was ready and got cold feet. Time for you to gently pull away and leave her curious i think.

LTL

Maybe. I don't think she's playing games though. There was an air of finality when we hung up the first time.

Good outlook to have sir

This is where I disagree.
In Gone With the Wind, Scarlett is first seen with two young men, both desperately trying to win her over....literally tripping over each other as they all 3 walk hand in hand....
then comes Rhett Butler...strong, independent...and attractive.

I think you should have said "Well best of luck" and left it at that.

Here is my theory:

I think she feels attraction for you otherwise you wouldn't have turned around and planted one on you. That's a good sign, however I think being needy about seeing her will destroy that attraction.

The way I see it, you basically have two options, either pursue her and and try to talk her into choosing you, or treat her like her like she is your sister and wait and see what happens.

I think the second option has a far better chance of success, because it communicates that you are strong, confident, polite, and don't need her to choose you.

ak

Alright sports fans, I have a date planned with KAREN on Tuesday evening. She's 30, adventurous, likes to scuba dive and is pretty darn cute. Never married, has no kids. She also lives relatively close to me so the drive won't be bad at all. Still have my OKCupid mojo I guess.

Oh, KAREN is also a fan of the Oxford comma so that will be a topic of conversation since it's been debated so heavily on other threads.

Jedi and ak1 - there in lay the differences of opinion. I'm inclined to pursue her but the advice is split between that, playing it cool and saying adios. I guess we'll see how it turns out... I'm not sold in any one direction right now.

if you treat her like a sister, you are in the "friend" zone.
I have no desire to have "friends" that are single attractive women.
If youre not careful she could ask you to go shopping with her next...

Hmmm.
Is something missing here?

So how do you know she likes the Oxford comma?

She put it in her profile... can you see me rolling my eyes over here ak1? Lol

TC- I didn't know about the Oxford comma until you posted about it.

So in your opinion, should another one be included in the path list above?

Seriously curious.

LOL.

I vote

no

on using an Oxford comma on that sentence.

Depends on what you mean... do I think another comma should be used? No. I think the Oxford comma is a waste of perfectly good typeface. Do I think I should add another path in my approach to AMY? I don't think I have any other options than the ones listed. Unless you're suggesting I process my undying love, propose marriage and ask her to have twenty babies with me. In which case I respectfully decline.

On the AMY front, she and I chatted via text of and on throughout the day and I was careful to let her initiate. She suggested I call her after the folks at my Superbowl party cleared out which I did. We talked for a solid half an hour about all kinds of things and it was a really good conversation. I'm going into this date tomorrow ready be awesome; I'll let you kind folks know how it goes when I get home tomorrow night.

KAREN on the other hand texted me almost non-stop all day with the exception of when I had company over. I enjoyed it... I'm just hoping there's something left to talk about on Tuesday evening! I kid; if she's the right one then there will be. She's very funny and seems to get my sense of humor which is very nice! Looking forward to my date with her quite a bit.

After a long 12 day at work, I picked up food and went over to AMY's house to eat and play games. The food was excellent and the company nothing to complain about either (although it felt a little tense). After dinner we played five rounds of cards and then talked while sitting with each other on the couch. We were comfortable, touching and then I kissed her. And kissed her. And kissed her. It was pretty wonderful.

A while later she pulled back and out of the blue said she was never going to move to my town (about 35 min away). I wasn't surprised by this declaration and told her that I knew. She seemed shocked... asked if it was a deal breaker. I told her no and that I knew her life was up in St Louis. We talked a bit about that and the kids; after that was done we got back to cuddling and kissing for the rest of the evening.

I think I found the root of all this. She is single, hasn't dated much and my life is full of complications. I'm a dad of three kids and have an ex to whom I was married to for twelve years. I have a home I own in a town she never wants to live in. These are a lot to process. I talked to her about it in brief, let her know that I wanted to see her regardless of these complications and that I wasn't worried at this point. One thing at a time.

We both had an excellent time and while I'm sure she's still going to date this other guy, I'm much more confident tonight than I was Saturday. This date went perfectly in my opinion! We're scheduled to see each other this weekend at some point; can't wait!

Sounds like a nice smoochy time with Amy, TC! I have some thoughts after re-reading your thread:

Here's my take on dude #2: this other guy had probably been emailing/texting for a while but hadn't bothered to meet her in person. (This is annoying if she wanted to meet him). He isn't too interested in her, but she's interested in him. So when he finally asked her out, she was excited and enjoyed herself. In the meantime she'd been seeing you and knows you're more interested in her than dude #2.

So until dude #2 falls on his face and she realizes he's not really into her, she will probably keep hope alive for him. I'm sure this will be soon, because if she's smart (you said she is), and he doesn't keep the momentum going (which he probably won't) you'll easily win the day vs. him.

HOWEVER, she brought up distance/moving to you. This makes me nervous. Here's why: when two people are both very interested in each other, their brains focus on what they have in common, everything 'alike' they are. If she is focusing on where you live v. where she lives - even though you are assuring her - this means her heart is divided. My advice here is to be aware and know that sometimes women say things that seem very subtle, but are actually 'everything.'

I realize you want to see her regardless of the complications. The tricky part is, they are your complications (especially the children) and they are familiar to you (i.e. not as scary, being known). But to her, they may loom very large. Giving her assurance of your desire to continue is wonderful! But these are big decisions for her and she'll need to sort out her willingness on her own.

The 'pulling back from kissing and out of the blue' cracks me up a little bit: we ladies always have things on our minds! Even when kissing - which may be pretty focused for the gent - we could have a million ideas rolling around our heads, concerns and questions that just can't wait any longer. And sometimes that intimacy brings it all to the surface.

My $.02 - guard your heart. She is very hesitant.

It's interesting that her not wanting to move to your town is what she blurted out - it tells me that she has thought about what it would be like to have a long-term relationship with you, and also that she has other reservations that she hasn't communicated to you yet. Does she mean she never wants to leave St. Louis or is there somewhere in the middle where you might be able to compromise?

How often do you have your kids? Has she talked about whether she wants to have kids of her own? If she doesn't want kids at all, how does she feel about stepchildren?

I know it might be early to talk about whether she wants to be a stepmother, but she is the one who brought up not wanting to move to your town!

tc, are you still 'talking' to other women?


That she hasn't dated much...it is good that she is seeing what is out there. I would just enjoy your dates with her without expectations...maybe something will develop but it is VERY early to start wondering about kids, etc.

Yeah for kissing!!!