I agree.. If I ended up on one of those websites I would have to put on my big girl panties and take it.

I messed up and I know "trying to hide" from it, means I haven't learned anything from my huge mistake.

It's part of my consequences.

Of course I don't think the courts are the arbiters of all truth, but I do think sites like this are a breeding ground for false accusations and potential lawsuits. Last I checked, libel and slander were still against the law too.

What's wrong with having your name and photo posted on the internet with the facts about your affair?

Don't use the site, then. Other people don't feel that way, and are happily using it.

We will see! However, I have seen thousands of exposures on this site over the years and there has not been ONE libel/slander lawsuit.

That's no reason not to post truth, though.


Yes, but we could debate ethically whether that should be in the law or not. I'm not sure if the moderators would let me post links to the material I've read on the subject, but I'd start with the position that I respect others having the right to have their own opinions: I don't have the right to control them. If people think ill of me and don't want to listen to my side of the story, I just don't deal with them, and we all move on.

Also, if something is truly a crime, ethically speaking, the response needs to be proportional. For example, we don't shoot people for ignoring a "keep off the grass" sign. "Libel" and "slander" laws don't seem to mandate a proportional response and so could be very reasonably described as unjust laws.

In a nation that has had laws like ours (assuming we all live in the U.S.) it would be very hard indeed to use the law as any sort of a standard for right and wrong.

It's a violation of my privacy. It would be the same as anyone posting anything else about me on the internet without my permission. I value my privacy a great deal.

Do you have a web site posting your status as an alcoholic? Do you wear a T-shirt everyday publicly stating that you are an alcoholic?

Yes, you may choose to divulge this information to people you know for a variety of reasons. But I seriously doubt you advertise the fact that you're an alcoholic all over the internet.

yep, yep, agree. Others love the sight and that is what counts!

I had a friend (probably deceased now, he was old when I knew him), that used to work for the utility company in Southern California.
He told me...that some women would call and complain about their pilot lights going out only to get men to their homes.
The men would get there and the woman would be barely clothed and want sex...

If this is happening down the street, and a betrayed wife angrily places the womans name and picture on an exposure website, it is good in the respect that other people in the neighborhood will know to keep their husbands away from her.

The book of proverbs is full of warnings to young men to stay away from adultresses

I don't believe it is against the law to state the truth. It is against the law to slander or libel, but the truth is a defense to that.

And even if you did, it still wouldn't be the same, because it would be YOU divulging this information about YOURSELF and not someone else doing it for you.

These OW are not advertising their whoredom. It is being done by their victims. The victims have every right to state the truth about them. My victims have every right to put my picture on the internet or take out a billboard! I have nothing to hide and I do not deny the truth.

Your right to privacy has nothing to do with exposing the truth. I would object to anyone posting my photo anywhere for any reason without my permission. And this is against the law. It's the reason why newspapers and such have to have you sign a waiver before they use your photograph.

You don't have any such right to privacy. We have freedom of speech in this country. But if you believe that this website is breaking the law, why not call the police on them? See how far you get?

But privacy is like education: it's up to you to secure that for yourself. It's not something we are entitled to at the expense of other people.


It does not follow from that that you have the right to restrict the behavior of others, though. If you value your privacy, shut your curtains - don't enforce your privacy by threatening people who happened to see inside when they walked past your home while the curtains were open.


Yes she does - it's called forum.marriagebuilders.com


It seems to have factored into many of the 50,000 posts she's written...

Have you watched the TV Show Cheaters?
They broadcast it on national TV.

Good point Jedi.

My guess is that these agencies and individuals are unrepentant: i.e. repeatedly violated the law, continually refused to pay taxes, and have made no effort at compensation or changing behavior. If one of these agencies in good faith made amends, then I daresay their name would be removed.

The benefit of government exposure is help others avoid that agency and to shame the perp into making amends/paying taxes, etc. But once the taxes have been paid, or the agency is again operating in an ethical manner, then I don't understand what benefit would be gained by putting a past-offender's name on the site.

I guess I'm talking about repentant, non-re-offending people who committed adultery in the past. Not those continuing to do so.

Is the general consensus, "Once a cheater, always a cheater?"

I have been so encouraged that I could learn and grow by following Dr. Harley's materials, and become a super-duper good spouse. I'm still working toward that, and I'm gonna keep it up, no matter what.

Your OM's BW has every right to post about you if she sees fit. You are in no position to deny her that right.

Your focus is too much on you instead of your victims. You are focusing on your shame instead of the trauma you caused in the life of another woman.

It does not harm you to have your deeds exposed to the light. It is not revenge for the BW to say "This woman destroyed my family." Did you do it? Then be gracious enough to not stomp your foot and whine that the BW is somehow harming YOU.

I really don't think that proves much of anything.

writer,
You seem very upset about this website.
It reminds me of when my dear late friend was upset about kenneth Starr investigating Bill Clinton. My friend was furious that Clinton was being held accountable for his affair with Monica Lewinski and all of the perjury and lies that followed as a result of it.

My friend felt that it was "nobody's business"...

People expose on media all the time, in fact one of our top generals was recently exposed for having an affair with a reporter. if these top people, including the former President, can't legally stop the exposure then why do you feel it's illegal slander and libel?