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Thats good are you working out? Running and gym time are great destressors. I'm not willing to give up on you just yet. I challenge you to list 3 positive things in your life daily. It will help with your depressing outlook on things.
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I'll give you a positive: Was invited by a coworker to dinner tonight with his new girlfriend. Pappadeaux, if you are familiar. Wow that was good. I was feeling very upbeat and I think it did me some good. Need to do that more and I think I will.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Wow. That is profoundly true and exactly what I want to tell her. She'd never listen to a word of it coming from me. I think I will write the Harleys and see what Dr. Harley feels about it.. Does he know about this letter? I might want to send it anonymously...? Cheaterville update. I don't know if the POSOM has been made aware that his face is gracing a cheater site, but over 3400 people have seen his smirking mug so far. At some point some do-gooder will look him up on Facebook and alert him. I wish I were a fly on THAT wall when that happens.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Okay, you guys need to distinguish between the things I say about how I FEEL at a given moment versus what I am DOING in reality. I was under the impression that this place was somewhere I could commiserate about certain things and not be judged for it, but I guess I might be wrong about that. When I do slip up I say something on here. I have not slipped up that much lately. Despite how I might have felt yesterday and the fact that I expressed it (God forbid) I have been Plan A since deciding on it. xW asked me about her website domain (I accidentally let it expire) and I told her I would take care of it and she thanked me.
Trust me when I say I am doing everything I can to Plan A without being a pain in her butt. And I have no false hope about recovery. Her affair will have to END before it is even 1% possible. I may be a lot of things, but I am not a moron.
In the meantime I have started talking to some ladies and I will probably be dating soon. Tired of waiting. There are some people who like to come here and "vent." It's nice to have a sympathetic ear when your life is being torn apart. However, venting really does nothing toward attaining the goal of rebuilding a marriage, or creating the environment in which a marriage can be saved. We do you no favors by cajoling with you disrespectfully about your XWW. The time is better spent helping you learn to be respectful in your thoughts toward your wife as a permanent habit. Restore your marriage or not, being respectful of your wife is an important habit.... even when she's nowhere to be seen.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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I'm happy you had a nice time with your friends. Please take HHH post to heart, in the beginning I was like you, constantly saying disrespectful things about my wife because of her actions. I thought it was ok because she wasn't around. It wasn't and you have been explained why. Also, tit for tat won't work here, your ex won't show her true feelings to you when you start filling her lovebank. That's why its "no expectations".
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Wow. That is profoundly true and exactly what I want to tell her. She'd never listen to a word of it coming from me. I think I will write the Harleys and see what Dr. Harley feels about it.. Does he know about this letter? I might want to send it anonymously...? I would not send it anonymously. You always want to show a door to recovery. I have read that this letter is good for sending to an ex spouse. (preferably one whose affair is over and they are coming out of the fog). Since she is still in the fog it may not be that helpful
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I agree. I stopped by the store to get a couple things on my way home - I pass by my old neighborhood, and I am pretty sure I saw the POSOM's car. Not 100%, but it is a distinctive 1990s car that there aren't many of around anymore.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Wow. POSOM is over 5400 views on Cheaterville.com, and when you click the "cheaters" button, he is on the front page. I hope he likes his exposure. I wonder when I'll hear about it..
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Wow. POSOM is over 5400 views on Cheaterville.com, and when you click the "cheaters" button, he is on the front page. I hope he likes his exposure. I wonder when I'll hear about it.. That's great! Do you know his phone number? If you register him at www.playerblock.com they register his phone number and send him a courtesy text to let him know he's been tagged as a cheater!
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I do know his cell number, in fact. I had thought about sending anonymous texts from a web-based text service, making it look like some girl was mad at him for not calling her back. But that's kind of immature.
Interesting - I did a search on him today and found a meetup.com group that he belongs to - a snowboarders meetup. Anyway, they have a Q/A thing and this was one of the questions, and his answer:
Where would you like to go for a dream weekend trip?
Anywhere with CM.
Hmmm. "CM"? the xW's initials are not CM. I wonder if that means anything..
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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I have seen his profile on Cheaterville and found he belongs to 3 Meetup groups, mostly hiking groups. If you know his phone number register it at www.playerblock.com
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I hesitate to have other people do my dirty work, but I am wondering if someone could put a bug in some of his facebook friends or family's ears about the cheaterville post. An anonymous tip,if you will. Might get people talking, because I am sure his friends and family don't know the whole back story. Ya know, their affair being a secret and all.
I think if the xW ever does want to reconcile and we use MB as a resource, we may have to start another joint account and maybe not have her read this one. LOL
I know, I know.. radical honesty.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Dropped the girls off. xW was freshly showered. On the way out saw the POSOM's car again, turning from the road leading to my former house. Obvious what was going on there.
I am thinking this is hopeless right now.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Did you talk to her? Did you attempt to make LB$ deposits?
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She asked about the red patch on our 2 yr old's cheek. She just had dry skin, and I told her I put lotion on it. I was very cordial and pleasant about it. That's all that was said.
Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
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Next time, compliment her and ask how her day was
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Don't think about whether something is hopeless right now or not.
Just do not 'shoot yourself in the foot' reacting to what your exw is doing.
The future is not yet written.
Meanwhile be the good Dad. Create a good life for yourself and those kids.
Maybe start dating. I know you do not want to. That you only want your ex BUT it will put things into your own control and there are a lot of wonderful women out there in the world.
If you ex ever ends her affair and is interested and you haven't found another love you prefer.....well.......then.......you two can rebuild if your ex is ever up to it.
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Dropped the girls off. xW was freshly showered. On the way out saw the POSOM's car again, turning from the road leading to my former house. Obvious what was going on there.
I am thinking this is hopeless right now. Did you talk to her? Did you attempt to make LB$ deposits? Next time, compliment her and ask how her day was Don't think about whether something is hopeless right now or not.
Just do not 'shoot yourself in the foot' reacting to what your exw is doing.
The future is not yet written. You are in a hard spot. You have been given the tools to plan A. So plan A as long as you can.
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Dropped the girls off. xW was freshly showered. On the way out saw the POSOM's car again, turning from the road leading to my former house. Obvious what was going on there.
I am thinking this is hopeless right now. Did you talk to her? Did you attempt to make LB$ deposits? Next time, compliment her and ask how her day was Don't think about whether something is hopeless right now or not.
Just do not 'shoot yourself in the foot' reacting to what your exw is doing.
The future is not yet written. You are in a hard spot. You have been given the tools to plan A. So plan A as long as you can. Yes. There is no try. There is only do.
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