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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
That's why Dr. Harley encourages no contact in such cases.
Do you have someone that can read emails for you?
Also, please answer the question above; are there any court orders about who has custody?
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 15
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 15 |
I am confused. If she has no Orders, then what makes her think she has custody? What was signed regarding custody of the children? I filed the divorce and had him served. We met at the notary office and he signed off on an FL-180, which includes the full legal and physical custody to me. It has been filed with the court. I am waiting to hear back from the attorney today. I don't know how solid that agreement is. I'm sure until the judge finalizes the divorce he can likely turn around and change his mind. But he did sign over custody on a legal document that was notarized and now it's in the courts hands. I'm not really sure where things go from here w/ the process. I am told I still have to wait 6 mo from the date he was served. Until then, I'm trying to figure out how to keep my sanity while still playing nice with him. He's sinking to lower and lower tactics to try and upset me.
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 15
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 15 |
He also agreed to let the divorce go in to default by not filing a response. He is just desperate to get the divorce over with as quickly as possible so that he can get to the new family he has. Fine with me at this point, but in the mean time I have to figure out the best course of action to maintain his cooperation and not lose my mind with all the games he is playing
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 15
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 15 |
I'm working on getting things set up today, I'm lucky enough that I have someone to offer to be an IM for me. Creating a new email account for that purpose only. Any other ideas on what I should do to have a solid plan?
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490 |
Are you going to go with the secret IM or let him know flat-out that he is not to contact you and all contact should go through me?
There are pros and cons to both sides....what are you most comfortable with?
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. 
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 15
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 15 |
I'm thinking the secret IM thing? Might be the best option so that he can't use the "she won't communicate with me about my kids" line against me. What do you think?
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
Yes, I agree.
You need to ask your attorney about the document he signed.
Last edited by Jedi_Knight; 02/24/14 03:15 PM.
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391 |
I feel he doesn't need to know whether it is secret or not.
When you and your IM create the new e-mail address, all he needs to know is that you will only respond to pertinent child related issues or any required financial matters still needing to be resolved or any other non-personal related issues that you deem require to be addressed.
Make sure to close off any other avenues of contact though, such as your primary e-mail address, cell phone number, home number, etc...
LTL
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108 |
He also agreed to let the divorce go in to default by not filing a response. Hopefully he will not respond and you can be done...then let the six month clock run out.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 15
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 15 |
thank you all so much for the awesome advice. i much appreciate it all.
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