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#2781773 02/08/14 07:25 PM
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So here is the deal, I was looking at my profile on a dating site when I noticed that this very attractive girl looked at my profile. She isn't local, but I was blown away at the answers to the questions, and what she wrote. She has a great attitude and we share a lot in common so I messaged her and told her and that it made my day.

She writes back, says I made her day, and starts asking about my life, kids, and about the airplane. We started sending messages back and forth and have found ak kinds of interests and it seems like she would really like being in AK. She is super outdoorsy and loves the things that AK is known for.

3 days of messaging back and forth and she lays out her story and starts asking more personal things. I can tell she is very interested and she certainly has my attention. She share the same faith, view on family, church, and recreation.

Our stories are very similar with wayward spouses.

At this point I'm getting pretty excited about the possibility, but on the flip side she is on the east coast so I feel like it's a long shot.

So my question to the women on this forum, how would you feel about relocating if the dude you are interested in lives where you want to live? How would you go about meeting him? What could this dude do to reveal that is is very interested back without sounding wierd?

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Personally, I'd probably want him to visit me first. It's always more comfortable to get to know someone on your own turf.

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Hey ak1, that's great that you found someone that you connect with in the east coast hottie! Just want to ensure you're doing your due diligence and make sure she is who she says she is before you invest anything into her. It's easy to do... skype is a good tool. Just watch out for yourself buddy!


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What is the custody arrangement with her ex? She can't just up and move if the ex has/wants visitation with his children.

Personally...my vibe from most long distance people is that they are either desperate or something is wrong with them. Sorry but that has been my experience when someone shows strong interest and the other person lives thousands of miles away...and is looking for a mate 'anywhere.'

Last edited by black_raven; 02/08/14 09:05 PM.

BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I don't think she is desperate or anything wrong with her. The site I'm on has questions you can answer and it scrolls the questions to other users regardless of geography. So she probably saw me that way or she was looking in AK because I know she would love to live here.

It was just chance that I noticed her and messaged her, and more chance that she wrote back and we started talking.

She has full custody so that isn't an issue.

Certainly I'm being very careful, and find tech to be a useful way of getting to know her.

At this point it's far to early to tell what is going on, but I'm just curious if anyone else had this work out.

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Originally Posted By: ak1
I don't think she is desperate or anything wrong with her. The site I'm on has questions you can answer and it scrolls the questions to other users regardless of geography. So she probably saw me that way or she was looking in AK because I know she would love to live here.

It was just chance that I noticed her and messaged her, and more chance that she wrote back and we started talking.

She has full custody so that isn't an issue.

Certainly I'm being very careful, and find tech to be a useful way of getting to know her.

At this point it's far to early to tell what is going on, but I'm just curious if anyone else had this work out.


Sure! I had a shipmate when I was stationed out in Oregon who met his wife in Puerto Vallarta when she was on holiday. They did the long distance thing for a bit (she was in Canada) and then got married. Happily ever after and all that. It happens! smile


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Ak,

I started to become romantically attached to a woman 2000 miles away .....
its on my thread...and it didnt turn out good.

But I remain a hopeless romantic. And if Cary Grant can make it to the top of the empire state building then I won't say that it isnt possible.

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Full custody doesn't mean freedom to relocate.







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So, I met my exH online. It was way back when I was in college, he was in the military stationed across the country. Back before match.com, in some random AOL chatroom. We "talked" for a year before we met face to face, because shortly after we first connected online he was ordered to Okinawa for a year.
During that year, we exchanged countless phone calls, emails, letters, photos. We didn't do any video-chatting, I don't think it was even available back then (this was a good 15-16 years ago).
Once he made it back to the States, and his 4 years was up, I went to his home state to spend a week with him and his family. A week later, he moved to my state (I was still in college) and we were together for 10 years.
Now, of course, we ended in divorce. But the point is, when there's a will, there's a way. We exchanged so many photos of us doing everyday things and the hours and hours of phone calls made me feel completely comfortable with him. I knew him, and when we met there were no surprises. It wasn't weird. The first day I met him face to face, it was like I had known him all my life.

Get to know each other as much as you can before you make the move to fly out and visit. Scour her Facebook, LinkedIn, Skype with her. If she's into you too, you won't come across as weird.
Just keep your eyes open for red flags - don't put the blinders on just because she says all the right things!

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I will share something that a relative of mine did.
he was youngm and always looking for quick money.

He created an online profile as a woman, and would chat with men and would actually get mailed gifts.
Once he even received a new laptop from a man in Japan!

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Time for an update!

So I've been talking to this girl, we will call her Tara, for a little over 3 weeks now. At first it was just a lot of emailing, then we talked on the phone and I liked her even more (and I liked her a lot to begin with), then we switched to video chat, and wow! This girl is super pretty, active, dresses well, her house is well decorated (a big need of mine), but most of all she is super considerate and thoughtful.

I appear to be meeting her needs really well too as we are constantly talking and trading pictures and such.

About a week ago I asked if she wanted to meet DS12 and she said sure, so I got him on the chat thing and he was super cute, and virtually shook her hand and high fived her.

The more we talk the more we want to be together so I'm getting a plane ticket and planning on heading down to meet her, her kids, her parents, and her friends the 3rd week of March.

I told her that I wanted to meet everyone in her life first so that they aren't denied their desire to look after her, and because I thought it best to meet her on her turf and let her decide if she wants to pursue a more committed relationship with me, knowing that it would require her to move since she is FAR more portable than I am given the custody/house/job and because she wants to live in the mountains anyway.

So yea, I don't know if she is the one, but I'll totally willing to hop a plane to see, and I'll be thrilled if she is!

If it works out as well as we both hope, she will come up to AK in July which is super exciting.

ak

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Silly question: where is AK?


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Alaska!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I never thought about that! I was wracking my brains for all the states I knew, and that one escaped me!


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Do people really live there? Do they have towns and cities and everything - not just polar bears?


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Originally Posted By: SugarCane
Do people really live there? Do they have towns and cities and everything - not just polar bears?


This is a AMERICAN SECRET, Missy! But since you are a friendly foreign devil, we will tell you! They live in igloos up there! laugh


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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And they ride mooses to get from place to place.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao


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Originally Posted By: SugarCane
rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao


It is called mooseback riding! grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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There are lots of options for "dating" while doing the long distance thing. You just have to be creative and use technology. Just to clarify though, if things go well in a few weeks, she will come and visit in July, not move her whole family to Alaska in July right?


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