No you need to expose to more than one person at the workplace so they have to do something. Its in the exposure thread.

Have you tried phone book and whitepage listings for OM? You may need a PI to get ID and exposure info of OM.

It is a small world and I found someone that works with the OM. I don't think there is anyone to expose for the OM besides the employer because he is separated from BS due to a different affair. He has no facebook account or other online accounts. The OM seems like a dead end. OM is saying things like:
"I managed the same bs the way I could back when I was busted. Now its time for u to figure out what your are doing". I really want to include an email to him during exposure. Based on what I am reading into the messages, OM wants A but isn't pushing. I wonder if he would feel guilty for destroying a family and end the A until WW ends marriage.

As for the employer, I was thinking WW's manager and HR. I think my WW's manager will actually be the biggest impact at work because she is very professional and this will cause her to view WW negatively.

I am not directly concerned of exposing OM2 because that affair is not active with WW. The OM2 is having affair now with WW's BFF. I am more concerned to expose OM2 to WW's BFF because that will cause BFF to break friendship with WW.

WW is telling friends "I just want to runaway. Need to clear my head. Gain understanding as to what I need to be happy"

I can tell she has no idea what is in store. She thinks I am being very calm. I have been trying to have a calm front to avoid to many love back withdrawals. I have been doing the Plan A behavior since I learned of it a month ago.

I am so tired it is difficult to think straight. I am thinking of drafting emails, call scripts, people to notify, etc but not doing it until I sleep on it. I think I need a clear mind to proof read the messages and double check the plan.

Someone above asked about how I had disrespectful judgments toward WW. Looking at questionnaire, probably "Does your spouse seem to feel that his opinion is superior?", " Are you afraid to discuss your points of view with your spouse" are probably the 2 biggest (just guessing). I am very analytically and WW is opposite. I actually like that aspect about her because it pushes me outside of my comfort zone. Though on big changes like going back to school, another child, buying house etc, I want to talk through all the options were I feels she just wants to act. I think the issue was probably more of delivery, tone, and expressions. I sometimes get busted making faces that I don't even realize until she calls me out on it.

So now back to exposure plan, does my game plan look correct? Based on where we are now, is there anything that you would do differently?

Pleading to OM's conscience for breaking up a family will have zero impact.

The only thing you can do is expose what he is doing.

You definitely need to expose OM 2 also, regardless that he is in an A with your W's BFF. Let the hammer fall and see where the pieces wind up.

You never know who could become an ally to your marriage reconciliation efforts unless you try.

LTL

Found OM2's BS and DD with a little searching. I only wish I could find OM1 but all search attempts have failed. He only appears in linked in.

I think I will pull trigger in morning after I at least had a little sleep.

BINGO!! He is married. I would get to his wife. He probably is not even separated. Even so, separated means MARRIED. I would make finding her YOUR MOST IMPORATNT MISSION!


He won't feel guilty, but OM are cowards and cry babies. You can run him off if you have a face to face with him and tell him to hit the road.


You should certainly expose to HR so formal proceedings will take place.


Isn't he a VP? If so, I would expose him to HR and to his wife.


I would add the OM's wife to your list and plan on meeting up with OM once you are done with epxosure.

OMG - After hours of searching, I think I found OM's address and BS's facebook account. I have reached out to her on facebook to confirm if I am right. I am crossing my fingers hoping I am right.

"You can run him off if you have a face to face with him and tell him to hit the road. "
Is this really a good idea? I am willing to do anything!

Yep!! Just leave your pistol in the car.

p.s. take a big guy friend with you as a witness. Tell him that holy hell is coming his way if he doesn't stay away from your wife. Here is the message you should be sending that piece of crap:

FT,

I only wish I could find OM1 but all search attempts have failed. He only appears in linked in.

Try www.veromi.com I have good luck with that as it usually also gives potential family members too. You will find OM1 if you keep up your searching, the key to my finding OM2 was a hobby of his. Be creative in your search strings use quotes in google etc.

God Bless
Gamma

How far away does that POS live? Can you drive over there?

FT,

I like the idea of exposing OM1 btw, it's like the mob they WILL FIND YOU! Sends a powerful message on top of being the right thing to do.

God Bless
Gamma

Yes, OM1 lives relatively close. So if I could confirm, I could drop by.

OM2 lives on east coast and stays in company owned apartment when in town. I am not sure where that is but I am not worried about OM2. I expect company will not like VP having affairs with multiple employees on company owned property. I also know he is married so his wife can kick his [censored] when he gets back home.

The OE/PA with OM1 is what I am really concerned about. He is a computer geek (like me) so I think I only need to take my black belt brother with.

Great! And maybe you will find a wife that. If so, tell her all about the affair. Let weiner boy sit there like the worm he is and squirm while you tell her everything.

OM2 lives on east coast and stays in company owned apartment when in town. I am not sure where that is but I am not worried about OM2. I expect company will not like VP having affairs with multiple employees on company owned property. I also know he is married so his wife can kick his [censored] when he gets back home. [/quote]

I would expose him. Expose him to HR and to his wife. He is fostering a culture of adultery in this company.


Perfect!! Your brother can be your witness.

Cards held up one's sleeve do nothing but scratch, itch, and chafe the skin. You are a fool not playing it.

Why are you still half a$$ing on exposure?

A work place exposure needs to include the CEO/owner, the Board, the Director of HR. Supervisor's have been known to put their own interests first over stopping an affair. The work pressure must come from the top down.

You need to expose every affair and every OM.

I have started it....

Called parents, facebooked close friends, contacted BS2 (wow OM2 was not happy), my WW is pissed I told BS2 and claims they didn't have affair. Though I know he was having affair with her BFF so she needed to know either way. I am waiting for BS1 to call me, I got a hold of her sister and she is suppose to call.

I am just a chicken when it comes to contacting employer.

I was intentionally omitting owner because he has a long time affair with a coworker there. I know his opinion. I actually think HR director and WW manager are best options.

Also, how wide should I cast the facebook net? Should I contact co-workers she is friends with? Should I contact friends that she is not super close to?

Wow, WW is very upset. Headed home to talk with me. Now what do I do?

Good job on exposure.

Other than OM's BW, who on OM's side did you expose to?

Don't focus on epxosing to her facebook friends. Expose to the OM's. And yes, you need to expose at work ASAP. You have already started the flood so don't give them a chance to pre-empt you.