Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 41 of 69 1 2 39 40 41 42 43 68 69
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 552
Z
Member
Offline
Member
Z
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 552
I live in New Mexico too. There is a fair amount of bad behavior here. Please don't add to it. Did you know that nationally one of our four women will experience domestic abuse but in NM it's one out of three? Interesting stuff.

Oh and back a ways on your thread it was eeyore (grumpy, depressed donkey from winnie the poo), not eyesore.

Just thought I'd clarify.

Last edited by zibbles; 03/05/14 03:28 PM.
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
Originally Posted by zibbles
I live in New Mexico too. There is a fair amount of bad behavior here. Please don't add to it. Did you know that nationally one of our four women will experience domestic abuse but in NM it's one out of three? Interesting stuff.

Oh and back a ways on your thread it was eeyore (grumpy, depressed donkey from winnie the poo), not eyesore.

Just thought I'd clarify.

Did I put eyesore? Might have posted from my phone. It thinks it knows better than me what word I want.

As for driving - I have no choice. There is no reliable cab service or bus service. I have no one to chauffeur me around. But hey, let's turn this whole thread into a discussion about THAT.


Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549
Likes: 10
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549
Likes: 10
Originally Posted by BlindsidedNM
As for driving - I have no choice. There is no reliable cab service or bus service. I have no one to chauffeur me around. But hey, let's turn this whole thread into a discussion about THAT.
Well, since you brought the subject up in the first place, yes, let's.

Does your ex wife know that you drive your kids around illegally?


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
It's irrelevant. The hearing officer is reinstating it.


Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
What do you think about sending text messages to flirt with your ex wife?

Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
What do you think about sending text messages to flirt with your ex wife?

I don't know. She is still seeing POSOM as far as I know. She doesn't text me any more, unless it has to do with the girls.


Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Well, in Plan A you would try to reach out to her

Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Well, in Plan A you would try to reach out to her

Interesting. I am talking to an old friend - female - and she keeps telling me to move on, let it go, etc.

She is divorced, of course.

Wow.. here is one of her little rants:

"it only matters that the kids and myself are happy NOW...I hardly EVER look back on my decisions regarding leaving my ex-husband. I'm just glad I did, I would NEVER go back and I regret absolutely nothing although I made plenty of mistakes...I regret NOTHING!!!"

Not to go off-topic, but I wonder what you'd say to this woman. Of course I don't know her history.

I could hear my xW saying that.

Last edited by BlindsidedNM; 03/05/14 10:49 PM.

Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
Another date with another woman tonight. I guess I am taking the "move on" advice.


Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
Meh.. I am just not into this dating thing.

I've been thinking about what to write to the Harleys and I just don't know. At this point almost everyone is telling me that "what's done is done" and I should just move on and accept everything. I don't think I can ever forgive what she did to me and our family. I won't hold a grudge or be angry - I just won't be a part of her life. I've had people tell me about all this "co-parenting" nonsense and I am just not going to be a part of that cheater's life if she chooses to stay on the path that she is on.

I wouldn't mind a Plan A, but she just does not have any contact with me during the week. When I have texted her int he past, she ignores me. I do believe she would be happier if I were gone completely.

I think her actions during our marriage were a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. I don't think she ever wanted to be married to me.. She followed through with it to get away from her oppressive Christian parents. I think once she got a dose of reality, she regretted everything, and her treatment of me reflected that. She just didn't have the courage to leave before we had kids, and I wish she had. I could have had happy kids with a woman who respects me and treats me like a human being right now. But now I just have my own private slice of Godless Americana.


Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Well then it may be best to just focus on your invention and time with your girls

Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Well then it may be best to just focus on your invention and time with your girls

On that front, my engineer wants to see me this coming week for a long meeting. Apparently he has been putting some hours into it.


Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
Okay, what do you make of this? I got the girls Friday evening as usual, was supposed to take them back Saturday evening. Got a text from the xW asking if I can keep them overnight because she is "exhausted". I agree, of course, as I always have when she asks anything of me. I expect a text this morning asking me to bring them back since this is her Sunday to have them. Here it is after 3:30pm and no text of the sort. Only one this morning asking how my 5 year old is (she has a fever this weekend and had some trouble breathing last night). I also noticed that the girls' bag was packed for two nights instead of one. Curious.

My theory? She had made plans last night or today but did not want to ask me to keep the girls, so she lied.


Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
I guess nobody is reading this thread anymore. That's okay, I guess.

Finally texted the xW at 7:30pm tonight because I had heard NOTING from her all day. I said "Ill assume the girls are staying again." She thought I was serious. I WORK ON MONDAYS.

Then I told her that I had plans today which I had to cancel. Her response?

"You didn't have to keep them last night nor did you have to keep them the whole day. Don't be angry with me because you said yes. How was I to know you had plans today"

UN****INGBELIEVABLE.

Out of the fog? NOT EVEN CLOSE. There is no Plan A with the selfish creature. There is no Plan B. There is NO PLAN. She gets what she wants when she wants it. No consideration of others.


Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
She only cares about herself

Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
She only cares about herself

It has always been that way and I don't expect her to ever change. As soon as POSOM stops giving her exactly what she wants when she wants it, he will be history and it will be on to the next one.


Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by BlindsidedNM
There is NO PLAN.

Agree.

That's why people quit posting to you.

We have tried to lay out a plan for you, and you went right back to plan Blindsided, which has been your Modus Operandi.


You can only slap the hands offering aid away so many times before they stop extending.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 574
I kept it together pretty good considering what she did. The things I was thinking about saying but didn't. She texted me later and I was perfectly civil.

I just thought for a moment that she'd be a but more considerate. I was just upset that she's apparently still fogged in.


Nothing changes. I am stuck in hell. Every day is the same and I can't escape.
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Sir she will be in the fog as long as she is in an active affair....

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
Assumptions will always disappoint. The Sunday ordeal is as much your fault as hers. You assumed she would contact. She probably assumed everything was fine since you didn't. Next time make your arrangements ahead of time. Problem solved.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Page 41 of 69 1 2 39 40 41 42 43 68 69

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
3 members (Blackhawk, 2 invisible), 168 guests, and 103 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Gastelumattorney, lucasmiller, Demonolatry, Jose E. Martin, Frank Pro
71,895 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Really Struggling
by Demonolatry - 11/13/24 03:52 AM
20 appointments and $1000’s later…
by IrishGreen - 10/30/24 06:20 PM
Happening again
by jah - 10/29/24 10:00 AM
I grounded my wife - am I proceeding correctly?
by Mature - 10/27/24 02:05 PM
How Do I Tell Him I Don’t Love the engagement ring
by BrainHurts - 10/22/24 09:30 AM
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,616
Posts2,323,460
Members71,895
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5