Naw, he is just ticked off that you exposed the affair at work and saying this to punish you. Let him know that yes, this will lead to divorce if he doesn't end his affair with skanky.

You really need to get ahold of her husband. That might kill this immediately.

Do you have a picture of her? Does she have a facebook page?

DD 4 yr old. DS 5 month old.

so the current plan wont' work. i really do need someone to help me on taking care of both kids besides the nanny and daycare hour. DS still wakes up several times at night. after paying daycare (for DD, 8am - 5pm) and nanny (for DS, 8:30am - 4:30pm)for both kids, we can't really afford to find other helper. I can figure sth. out for the drop-off and pick-up. but need to talk to WH about not come to home AT ALL.

i have a picture. and she does not have facebook page. She's in China. I'll hire a PI to get her husband's phone no.

I would post your story along with her picture on shesahomewrecker.com and cheaterville.com and then send her the links. She will GO CRAZY. Talk about causing pure chaos in the affair, THAT WILL DO IT!

Have you looked on those sites?

But she's in China, not sure how much she cared about those sites.

Any legal ramifications on posting her pic there?

Thanks a lot for your reply, Melody!

WE will see!! You can post her photo, send her the link and tell her you will be sharing this website with many, many others!!


Nope!! In America you have free speech rights.


You are very welcome, my friend!

These cheater sites have been featured on major news stations in the US. They are very popular!

Not sure if I understand it correctly, is it that NC needs to be come from my WH? if i threaten to post her pic on those cheater sites, and she agrees to terminate contact unilaterally? then WH wouldn't have a choice but break up the A. would this be considered NC?

No, they will TELL you they have broken up and then go further underground with their affair. It is NEVER a good idea to use a threat in an affair because you are only giving your battle plan to the enemy and they learn to be more clever.

She is not ashamed of her affair so why should you hesitate for one second to announce the good news?

Putting her photo on those websites may scare her off. If she believes you are going to make her life hell, she may back off. That is what you want.

Threatening to do it will work against you. You should never make a deal with liars and cheaters. You should SURPRISE them and keep them off balance.

I see. Thanks. can i take her pic off later if they do break up?

She is not ashamed of the affair. All you are doing is helping her spread the word of her affair with a married man.

Well done you!



The wayward fantasy is to have OW candy and wholesome family life too. It will kill you, don't do it! Don't 'discuss' his desire for a buddy divorce at all. You say, he does.




That is a dreadful idea. It keeps you as his poor put-upon wife without any care for life. Make your own NEW life - without your MiL!

Good heavens he can't keep his mother with you...Dropping by as though nothing is wrong.

She needs to go unless she can agree to not speak of him or let him in. And how can she do that?





You'll be ready for the nuthouse in just a few weeks of this crazy plan.

a few updates:

1) had scheduled counseling today to discuss separation/divorce details. WH is still pressing on getting a QUICK divorce. He's not opposed to my moving to CA with kids, as long as he got certain amount of time visiting them. He did state he "hates" me that I exposed the A, and he is very sad and disappointed the OW wanted to end things after I exposed her at her work place.

2) OW sent me an email just now, that it was me being extreme in exposing them and my actions that drove my WH further away then lead to divorce. if i tread him nicely i should have been able to win him back. she also threatened to let my employer know if i contact her again. the funny thing is my work and WH's work are sort of related and it's a small community here. my boss knows WH, and WH's colleagues. I'm curious how my WH would feel about OW's threaten. So shall I wait for this email to cause trouble b/t them or carry on my own agenda by posing on cheater websites?

3) about plan b. I told WH that he could not come to my apt again after he moves out. for now, it's very difficult for me to take care of both kids alone esp at night, while i have to work. my MIL might be able to not talk about him at home and not let him into our apt. i'll speed up my job-hunting in CA and relocation to CA will serve better in plan b.

Don't cooperate and don't go to any counseling with him. He is tru8ing to get you to cooperate with the destruction of your marriage. Don't do that. Just make arrangements to get moved. Tell him no thanks to counseling.


Go and submit the OW's picture along with the story of her cheating to the cheater websites. It will take a few days for them to post your story. When it does post, send her a link and forward it to as many people as you can, especially her coworkers.

When you send her the link to the story, just say, "I have forwarded this link to your story to hundreds of people in your company. I am just spreading the good news on your behalf. Best of luck... "

In the meantime, forward her email to your husband TONIGHT and just say, "you might want to handle this before she calls my boss and tells about your affair. I don't care if my boss knows, but you may."


Good idea. I would get moving as soon as you can.

All OW do this. They are a strange bunch. They are pro marriage wreckers but never feel this makes them unqualified to give marital advice.

What exactly is she going to tell your boss? That she's a homewrecker?

Good luck lady!

Mistresses know they are cheap knock offs. They are desperate for the wife's attention, anger and despair to show them they are worth noticing by a proper woman. Don't give her your anger, just shrug and let her know exposure is happening.

I'd follow ML's advice to the letter.

thanks Melody and indiegirl for your advices. I'll follow them.

I suggest you stop worrying about protecting her and instead focus on fighting to kill this affair

Cheaterville normally posts within 12 hours. They also have a link to anonymously email the exposed report from Cheaterville.