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ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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she kept calling me a sociopath and I'm crazy. She told me if she is in the house she doesn't feel safe. I told her I have never tried to harm you in anyway in a calm voice. etc...I'm at work, thank God. Her anger is the effect that exposure hit the target. Good job. You might want to start caring a VAR for your protection incase she tries to say you hurt her.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I'm sitting here at work in an awwwww! I just don't know what to think anymore. My mind feels like its going to explode...
My brother just called and he said she packed up some clothes and left the house... Do you have a GPS on her vehicle?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Let the dust settle.
You haven't seen this scenario 100s of times that we have - you did good! Trust us!
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When they pull out the libel/slander card, you know everything is true that you suspect. Libel/slander is a scare tactic nothing more, how many of those cases ever go to court in the USA, probably 1.
That is classic wayward speak to get you off her back.
Also, when the wayward starts saying they don't feel safe, that is set up language for a domestic assault rap. Get that recorder ready and on you at all times.
Good news - she gave you a snapshot of her strategy(waywards are dumb)
More Good news- she is speaking exactly the fog babble of a wayward caught in an affair, so continue to post here for advice. This is going exactly as has been demonstrated here in literally countless situations. All the phrases she is telling you, have been repeated her time after time.
I heard almost the exact words you are quoting.
Remember the rollercoaster, you are on it.
Remember people here telling you, she is an addict or a space alien. Now you see it more clearly.
Last edited by NebDane; 03/28/14 05:36 PM.
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I know and you guys have been great, it still is tuff to deal with. Well she did pack up some stuff and leave. sHE ALSO TOLD ME SHE CAN NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR THIS...
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I know and you guys have been great, it still is tuff to deal with. Well she did pack up some stuff and leave. sHE ALSO TOLD ME SHE CAN NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR THIS... Yes we know it is very stressful! And don't worry about "forgiveness," because you have no need for forgiveness. You have done nothing wrong!! It is wrong to commit adultery; not wrong to expose wrongdoing.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I never realized how mentaly wearing this is. I feel completely exhausted and I still have 5 hours to go here at work..
Being that she has left and I do see someone did say wait till the dust clears, how long is this going to go on for, how long is she going to be gone, is she going to stick to her guns, because she would look like an idiot staying with a crazy sociopath like me...as she tells me and probably everyone else that I'm crazy and she was only friends with OM etc...
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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sHE ALSO TOLD ME SHE CAN NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR THIS... You need to stop listening to her fog babble and believing it as truth. The anger is her moral compass talking to her...
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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Wait I think I answered my own question, if they were just friends how would she explain later that they are lovers now...LOL
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Wait I think I answered my own question, if they were just friends how would she explain later that they are lovers now...LOL yep! See how you ruined the future of her affair??  Anywho, once she sees that her tantrum won't work on you she will settle down and come home.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You can just kick back this weekend and catch up on your sleep while she decompresses. CAn you drive by the OM's house and take a picture of her car? Maybe knock on the door and say "hello?"
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Or lets see, I say nothing about the affair, and she slips under the radar, we get divorced and moves on with her new man and everyone is left in the dark...
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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When I followed her she parked in his garage, because friends hide their cars... I will check on my way home tonight.
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Or lets see, I say nothing about the affair, and she slips under the radar, we get divorced and moves on with her new man and everyone is left in the dark... THAT was the plan. And you ruined it!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You mentioned that she asked you to leave the house. Don't do it.
It's good you have this board to bounce your thoughts off, because we are here to tell you that you have taken the right course of action.
Stop saying the word sorry to her. You are not sorry, and you should not be sorry. You are fighting for your marriage and exposure is the best weapon at your disposal. But she will not understand that while in the fog.
Does your superior know that you are in this crisis? I would let them know since it will affect your performance at work and your physical health. This is the hardest thing you will probably ever experience, and it is helpful to have the support of your friends, family, and boss.
Hang in there, and keep up the fight.
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My work knows, I did talk to them and thats why they are going to get me on day shift. I will stop saying i'm sorry she feels angry. I will say I know your angry, I did this to save our marriage. When I said I did this to save our marriage, she screamed this what is going to save our marriage are you crazy about 5 times.. I said yes...
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
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My work knows, I did talk to them and thats why they are going to get me on day shift. I will stop saying i'm sorry she feels angry. I will say I know your angry, I did this to save our marriage. When I said I did this to save our marriage, she screamed this what is going to save our marriage are you crazy about 5 times.. I said yes... Way to stay calm, very, very good. The more calm you remain the more she will spew because she's looking for everything and anything to bring you down to her level and to try and rationalize her disgusting behavior.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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My work knows, I did talk to them and thats why they are going to get me on day shift. I will stop saying i'm sorry she feels angry. I will say I know your angry, I did this to save our marriage. When I said I did this to save our marriage, she screamed this what is going to save our marriage are you crazy about 5 times.. I said yes... I would stop saying you did it to save your marriage. That makes absolutely no sense to her. It is like telling drunk you threw them in jail for his best interest. He is not going to GET IT until he sobers up. When you say you are sorry, you are saying you are sorry SHE IS HURTING, not that you are sorry you exposed. There is a huge difference. I would continue telling her you are sorry she is upset because it shows you have empathy and instead of telling her you did it to save your marriage, tell her you felt everyone should know about her affair. And be sure and use the word "affair."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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