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I think it's amazing Dr H reached out to you - I'd guess he is just as impressed by your efforts as we've been. What do you think of his offer to have her call him?

How about you let her next time she wants to know about this plan? I think he would be able to address her fears that she has lost all respect. In two years here I have seen former way wards who are so tirelessly committed to their marriages they just command respect. Dr H must have seen so very many more.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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I just recovered the data from the GPS keylogger, I put on her car. I replaced it with the real time GPS.

Remember I was in the mental Hospital. She apparently has been stopping at the OM house in the morning after dropping SS at school look like she did this twice for about an hour, she even spent the night Friday, April 4, 2014. I noticed she stopped by his pharmacy On Monday April 7. 2014 for about 5 mins. It looks like the battery started to die on the GPS after she met with her Priet on Monday. Remember she was calling me non stop Sunday evening and Monday. I seen her at the house and she was having a break down. It pisses me off knowing I was placed in a hospital to save my Marriage and she spends the night with him.I just want to scream!!!! What do I do with this information, what is the point of having it???

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/10/14 03:03 PM.

ME46
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Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted By: wifedivorcing
It pisses me off knowing I was placed in a hospital to save my Marriage and she spends the night with him.I just want to scream!!!! What do I do with this information, what is the point of having it???


WD, she is wayward right now. You know this. Nothing she does should come as a surprise.

I chose to wait until we started R before tracking. It would have driven me nuts prior. Part of me wanted to know..the other part didn't.

Your call. You need to decide how much information you want at this stage knowing she is still wayward.


Last edited by 20YearHistory; 04/10/14 03:18 PM.
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Wd, just let her know that you know everything and ask her to end affair. It is real important that you keep this on the front burner until the affair is ended. Tell her that her car was seen at the OM's at those times.

Don't let up. Just keep spying.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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WD, fighting for your M is a great idea. You both can have what you have always wanted. I am living proof.


However getting from point A to point B is a wicked journey.

What I didn't REALLY realize during the battle was how -I- was going to feel once we started R. I was hurt yes, but not until a few months into R (once things started to level off) did I realize the extent of -my- injuries.

I didn't realize how difficult it would be to allow her into MY heart.

The deeper the injury the deeper the wound...the more difficult to heal.

On a certain level, you have to figure out how much you need to know. Sometimes knowing a little less is a good thing.

I ended up somewhere in the middle with the amount of details I insisted getting. I am grateful I don't know more. I know enough to make sure it doesn't happen again but not too much that I have 'burned' images in my brain.


Last edited by 20YearHistory; 04/10/14 03:31 PM.
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WD,
This information comes as no surprise. You aren't surprised, are you? Pi$$ed? Yes. Suprised? You shouldn't be.

But consider this: Before you entered Plan A, you were not able to reach her. She had completely checked out. Now she is responding. After all you have done to expose the affair and confront the other man, your relationship with her has actually improved, and you have put her in a state of dire confusion. That is one of the reasons she has flown off the handle. You have successfully taken all control of the situation out of her hands, and you have tapped into her love bank.

Good job replacing the GPS. Keep up the spying, and keep up the great Plan A.

You might want to let the other man know that you and the wife had relations and share with him how much she enjoyed it. E-mail from a new account that you create and put in the subject line something that won't make him think it's spam. If you have his phone number, texting him would be even better. Beware that he might e-mail something back that hurts you, such as sexting messages between the two of them, but you will have damaged their affair even more by letting him know that she betrayed him.

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20something, dr Harley advises snooping so please don't contradict that advice. He needs to stick to the plan. We have told him all along to GPS her. Please don't make this more confusing for him.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted By: MelodyLane
20something, dr Harley advises snooping so please don't contradict that advice. He needs to stick to the plan. We have told him all along to GPS her. Please don't make this more confusing for him.


Please quote a source that Dr. Haley insists on GPSing anyone. Snoop yes. There are many forms of snooping to uncover an A.

I have never heard Dr. Harley tell anyone they must GPS anyone. Ever.

Why should he do this if he doesn't want to? Shouldn't that be his call? If he wants to great. GO for it. if he doesn't this will not prevent him from recovering his M.

It is not a requirement to recover his M.

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Originally Posted By: 20YearHistory
Most women need to be in love or very connected to a man to have sex with him. Casual sex does occur yes, but most definitely NOT the rule. It is the exception.


My FWW must have been one of those exceptions then. The OM did not use condoms after their first act of sex. She didn't seem to have any trouble having sex with both of us, on one occasion the same day (about that day, she said afterwards that she was afraid I might have "noticed something", ewww)

Maybe the "rule" is changing...






[/quote]


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Absolutely he advocates gps units. He advocates snooping and the gps unit is giving him great intel so I can't imagine why you would tell him to stop. His job right now is to do his bust up this affair so telling him not to GPS her would only hinder that ability. Why in the world would you want to hinder his ability to bust up the affair? crazy


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Dr H noticed more of a disinclination on the part of women, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

One WW who became very quickly remorseful said the OM was quite a bully about sex and she felt she 'had to' to get her fix and never enjoyed it. She had been having sex with her H and part of their recovery was very intense hysterical bonding. The OM sex was kind of like hooking for the addiction. Her H had this included on the poly and the OM was later convicted for pressuring an underage girl into sex. It's worth remembering that to be in an affair you have to be willing to do and say everything as the other person wishes.

Then there's the type who will have sex to keep their husbands off the scent and the other type who are just good at compartmentalising. Sometimes male and female traits cross over.

I know my H was unable to be intimate with me and he isn't the only WH to do so.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted By: ManInMotion
Originally Posted By: 20YearHistory
Most women need to be in love or very connected to a man to have sex with him. Casual sex does occur yes, but most definitely NOT the rule. It is the exception.


My FWW must have been one of those exceptions then. The OM did not use condoms after their first act of sex. She didn't seem to have any trouble having sex with both of us, on one occasion the same day (about that day, she said afterwards that she was afraid I might have "noticed something", ewww)

Maybe the "rule" is changing...


[/quote]

Many WWs do have sex with both the OM and their husbands. This is not uncommon at all. What Dr Harley says about this is - not that women women won't have sex with 2 people - but that they can only be in love with 1 man at a time.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted By: wifedivorcing
She apparently has been stopping at the OM house in the morning after dropping SS at school look like she did this twice for about an hour, she even spent the night Friday, April 4, 2014. I noticed she stopped by his pharmacy On Monday April 7. 2014 for about 5 mins.


Your W is a WW. This is to be expected.

You could use this to your advantage, e.g. if the GPS continues to show her visiting the OM at specific times, have someone you know track her and take pictures of her at OM's house, preferably entering and leaving. Make sure that the photos are time-stamped too. Then add those pictures to the "file" on the OM on the Cheaterville site. Let him try to deny what the photos are plainly showing.


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Additionally, WD, Any intel you feed to your wife will be fed to the OM and that is what you want. I am reluctant to tell you to contact him again but you can relay this information through your wife and make him pee his pants. She will be telling him what you know and that is a good thing!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I really wasn't suprised. I was just pissed. I like the GPS. I see some say to let my wife know the mornings she been over b/c they seen her car. Also she spent the night. I could always elude his neighbor does like He's having an affair with a married women.

Also I see to suggest that she had relations with me. She was at the hospital with me. Etc...

Are these good tactics.

He won't answer his business phone if you block your call.


ME46
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D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I have to figure how to tell her. I'd like to tell her today. If she ask how I know I'll just say he got some decent neighbors..


ME46
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She has been pretty quiet today. She hasn't called me. I talk to.her at lunch she seemed down. I asked her about it and she said she don't know what she is. I told her if she wanted to talk about it and she said no. It's just the same stuff different day. I did get her laughing when I sent her a pic of my toes painted blue. She thought it was weird but she laughed. She painted my toes before and she thought that was great. I believe if she was in a better mood she probably would taken it better. Worth a shot.


ME46
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Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I defiently don't want to give her any indication she has GPS on her car.


ME46
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D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted By: wifedivorcing
I have to figure how to tell her. I'd like to tell her today. If she ask how I know I'll just say he got some decent neighbors..


I have an idea. Tell her the affair has been so widely exposed that you are getting reports from the OM's neighbors at home and at his business. Just tell her that her car was seen at his business on April XX and at his home all night long. I would try and say this in front of her son if you can.

This will do a couple of things. It will make the OM believe that all the people around him know and are watching and it will assure him that people KNOW all about his affair.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted By: wifedivorcing
I have to figure how to tell her. I'd like to tell her today. If she ask how I know I'll just say he got some decent neighbors..


perfect!! That will make him so paranoid!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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