Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 71 of 108 1 2 69 70 71 72 73 107 108
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
she said all of this has been forwarded thank you have a nice night.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
she said all of this has been forwarded thank you have a nice night.

"you too. love, WD smile "


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
she just asked me what neighbor seen her at the pharmacy?


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
she just told me that she forward the message to the Sgt. at our medical section. really did I break a law, is this how I'm going to be treated that I'm crazy. These people are off there rockers.

Sounds like you hit a nerve!!

I'm sure I hit a nerve. She is still in the fog, how do they ever think they are going to come out in the open with this affair. It will just validate to everyone that they are the sick and twisted people who got man thrown in a mental hospital because of there wrong doings, because they don't want to look bad, what is wrong with this picture.

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/10/14 08:15 PM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
I'll bet she is on the phone with OM trying to figure this all out. Does it normally go like this, what am I thinking it does. I got HNHN book today, I had to order LB and Surviving an Affair.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
she just asked me what neighbor seen her at the pharmacy?

"Your affair has caused me enormous pain and I am asking you to stop."


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I'll bet she is on the phone with OM trying to figure this all out.

grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
she just asked me what neighbor seen her at the pharmacy?

"Your affair has caused me enormous pain and I am asking you to stop."
Love, WD


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
lets define stalking, here it means 2 or more unwanted contacts. Lets see, I havent been by OM except when I confronted him. so how would I be stalking OM, when wife was the one going to OM house and bussiness. someone BLOW a FOG HORN and Knock her out of the FOG.

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/10/14 08:26 PM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
she just asked me what neighbor seen her at the pharmacy?

"Your affair has caused me enormous pain and I am asking you to stop."
Love, WD

I sent it, thanks. Do they really think they are going have a happy relationship or something.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
lets define stalking, here it means 2 or more unwanted contacts. Lets see, I havent been by OM except when I confronted him. so how would I be stalking OM, when wife was the one going to OM house and bussiness. someone BLOW a FOG HORN and Knock her out of the FOG.
They are sweating it out right now.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
I just got this text "I wont be talking to him or you. Leave me the F alone! you win...you crazy male dog". obviously it was the other word. so her she sends me clear evidence that she is having an affair.

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/10/14 08:38 PM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
Waywards are SO stupid. They don't actually think, at all. They just act and react.

You, on the other hand, are doing great.

AM


BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,153
2
Member
Offline
Member
2
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,153
WD
If you want to track her every move, then by all means that is what you should do.

There are alternatives to getting info as to what she has been up to and calling her out on it without directly lying to her.

There is no silver bullet.

you have exposed. You have done a great job letting other's know what is going on.

You are doing a great plan a of just trying to be cool with her and not doing all the things that made her grow away from you.

You have no control over her. There is no blowing her out of the fog with a single blow. This thing is going to take time. Her relationship with this other guy was an escape from you.

She wasn't happy with you for a long time. She didn't fall out of love with you over night.

You are doing exactly what you need to do to win her back.

If you obsess over her every move it is going to consume you. There isn't a 'strategic move' to make every second of every day.

I won my W back by just being the guy that she fell in love with and showing her that I was serious about have a great marriage with her by changing back into that guy she met + massive improvements.

If you can just calm down and slow the pace, you are going to be fine.

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,153
2
Member
Offline
Member
2
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,153
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I just got this text "I wont be talking to him or you. Leave me the F alone! you win...you crazy male dog". obviously it was the other word. so her she sends me clear evidence that she is having an affair.

Back off. Just let the jets cool for a few days. Just give her some space and let her come to you at this point.

Who cares that she sent that text. She will feel totally different tomorrow. Blow it off.

Her mood is changing every 5 minutes. Just be cool with it.

I have said this multiple times. Do not get sucked into her drama. Ok?

Last edited by 20YearHistory; 04/10/14 08:43 PM.
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
Why do I feel bad for her, why, why do I have a heart and a conscience. why do I feel her pain right now.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I just got this text "I wont be talking to him or you. Leave me the F alone! you win...you crazy male dog". obviously it was the other word. so her she sends me clear evidence that she is having an affair.

This is great. You have effectively caused conflict in the affair and put them on notice that their movements are being watched. It will be harder for them to conduct the affair.

Great job!!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Why do I feel bad for her, why, why do I have a heart and a conscience. why do I feel her pain right now.

It is hard to watch someone you love in deep conflict in their addiction. You are a good guy who really cares.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Why do I feel bad for her, why, why do I have a heart and a conscience. why do I feel her pain right now.

Because you have empathy. Waywards are SO self-centered that they have little or no empathy, only their own selfishness. Think about crack addicts that you have encountered at work. One of the most amazing things to me was the similarity between wayward and addict behavior. The comparison is striking.

AM



BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
And more importantly, you have sucker punched the OM without directly contacting him. Everything you said to her will be reported back to him. He will be second guessing his affair with your wife and asking if it's worth all this trouble.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Page 71 of 108 1 2 69 70 71 72 73 107 108

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,027 guests, and 52 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5