Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 95 of 108 1 2 93 94 95 96 97 107 108
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
Originally Posted by Tom2010
"I'd look into filing a complaint with the medical board regarding the dr that wrote the false report. A threat to his license may be more effective than a civil suit."

ItCan - I don't think WD needs to be incited to undertake another aggressive reaction. As I understand he has his medical records and is working with his attorney to investigate possible violation of his civil and patient's rights. Sounds like he has his situation well in hand. I agree with NebDane and others in implementing Plan A to the ultimate at this point, and that should be his focus, rather than instigating more legal action. Am sure his attorney will handle that for him.

WD, I did include you in the intercession part of the Mass I attended last Sunday. Just a small thing, but most often God hears. It sounds like you are doing better.

Tom

My attorney is going to look at everything, she right now is working on the PPO. I just found 8 calls to OM on her old phone bill she use to have with me that is dated 2/4/14 2/10/14 2/11/14 and all the calls were like 16 mins etc. The calls were to his pharmacy this just shows they have known eachother longer that two weeks like he stated in the ppo and they are just friends.

This scumbag POSOM list my wife in the PPO several times saying I defamed her also, he referrence her like they are a couple. I picked up on it and so did my attorney, and a judge signed it. I knowshe probably did it to make sure liability, which nothingin this ppo states a threat ofy kid.

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/15/14 10:11 PM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
The romantic ones I do will be light. Texting something funny is hard.

I did notice when i text her, I got the Hey! Like you suprised me by texting.

I've been in a VERY SIMILAR situation to yours...and found that if you go to google and search "romantic text" you will find websites devoted to this, listing hundreds of texts ready to send

I googled earlier, there are 1000's of them. I Don't want to over do it. We don't have kids this weekend, I would like to do something with wife. I did ask her to come over and she did that wednesday, but I would like to do somethingfun with her.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,079
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,079
off tangent -

Jedi, in recent years I have become enamored with Divine Mercy Sunday, and the whole concept as presented by St. Faustina, which is coming up. I do not know why exactly, but it has just become more important to me than even Easter!

WD, To attempt to divert your mind from the daily drama here, what are you planning for this Easter weekend for your family? It should be something simple and relaxing for all of you.

Tom

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
The romantic ones I do will be light. Texting something funny is hard.

I did notice when i text her, I got the Hey! Like you suprised me by texting.

I've been in a VERY SIMILAR situation to yours...and found that if you go to google and search "romantic text" you will find websites devoted to this, listing hundreds of texts ready to send

I googled earlier, there are 1000's of them. I Don't want to over do it. We don't have kids this weekend, I would like to do something with wife. I did ask her to come over and she did that wednesday, but I would like to do somethingfun with her.

Would she be willing to go on a short vacation with you?
Like a camping trip or visit to Florida?

Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
The romantic ones I do will be light. Texting something funny is hard.

I did notice when i text her, I got the Hey! Like you suprised me by texting.

I've been in a VERY SIMILAR situation to yours...and found that if you go to google and search "romantic text" you will find websites devoted to this, listing hundreds of texts ready to send

I googled earlier, there are 1000's of them. I Don't want to over do it. We don't have kids this weekend, I would like to do something with wife. I did ask her to come over and she did that wednesday, but I would like to do somethingfun with her.

Would she be willing to go on a short vacation with you?
Like a camping trip or visit to Florida?

I did mention to her about getting away on monday, we talked about antigua and I asked if she would like to go there with me and she was for it, but a nice weekend to florida would be great. I can ask her, I know its short notice but those are adventures and women want to be part of the adventure.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
I would settle for another day like wednesday. Yesterday she told me when I was giving her a back massage, she your the one who needs to get a massage. You know she has only one time in the 6yrs she has ever given me a back massage and that was when we were dating. Just an observation.

I will need a back up plan if she doesnt want to go to FL


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
i would tease him with the little things he needs to do in his ways, i would make sure i touched him as i spoke to him in some way, brushing his arm shoulder when i had the chance. the quick one liners about life. i would start off the texts with hey remember me, ask him what he wanted to eat for supper, or straight to dessert. things like that.
i always signed off any text or email with love me instead of my name or i would sign off your beautiful wife or your a lucky man., sometimes the texts would be real simple i miss you, i miss us, wish you were home. or if he sent me a text i would say you made me smile, it just feels right, told him i felt calm with him, i even ask for help with things, i ask him to teach me to do the chores he did in the house that hit home with him. he understood we could live without him and were planning on it.
when he talked divorce i would say yes we can tell everyone we divorced because your wife didn't like your girlfriend.

i would say to him your safe with me you don't have to be afraid of making this decision that i would love him through it i became his soft place to land.
he was determined to go too, it took 4 months

Last edited by jessitaylor; 04/15/14 10:33 PM.

BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
Originally Posted by jessitaylor
i would tease him with the little things he needs to do in his ways, i would make sure i touched him as i spoke to him in some way, brushing his arm shoulder when i had the chance. the quick one liners about life. i would start off the texts with hey remember me, ask him what he wanted to eat for supper, or straight to dessert. things like that.
i always signed off any text or email with love me instead of my name or i would sign off your beautiful wife or your a lucky man., sometimes the texts would be real simple i miss you, i miss us, wish you were home. or if he sent me a text i would say you made me smile, it just feels right, told him i felt calm with him, i even ask for help with things, i ask him to teach me to do the chores he did in the house that hit home with him. he understood we could live without him and were planning on it.
when he talked divorce i would say yes we can tell everyone we divorced because your wife didn't like your girlfriend.

i would say to him your safe with me you don't have to be afraid of making this decision that i would love him through it i became his soft place to land.
he was determined to go too, it took 4 months

I appreciate it, I wnder if some of that stuff would work with my WW, I dont now how much diffrent it is if the WW is man or women. I know Plan A says no I love you miss you etc...I get the feeling my wife likes when she is pursued, verses me just leaving her alone, not persuing or paying attention my be looked at same bad behavior she complained about. Like when she came over wednesday, I had to persade her. She was like I don't know, I said come on it will be fun and I'm going to take care of you. so I believe she likes that.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
You're doing a great job.
Are you reading your Bible daily?
have you read the book of Hosea and Tobit? They deal with adultery

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439
Likes: 4


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Here is a good breakdown of OM church and why OM pastor refuses to address the ongoing adultery: http://carm.org/what-unitarianism

Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,311
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,311
Tom,
One Catholic to another. Easter, not Divine Mercy Sunday or any other feast day, is the essential holy event of our faith. This week--Holy Week--takes us through Christ's Passion and leads to the resurrection, our ticket to heaven.

Do you participate in the Sacred Triduum? If you take it in fully--Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday (Easter Vigil), the culminating Easter celebration is profoundly joyful. Nothing supersedes it in meaning.

The year my wife left us, I was derailed for months. It wasn't until Holy Week that I was able to refocus, find equilibrium, and get back on my feet. What a grace it was!

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
she will say no more than yes for a while, i would like take it hour by hour, a good day was a hug a text something really small.
i would just look at it like i'm fighting for us even if he didn't help, there are just as many good memories as bad. if it didn't work then at least i tried.
i sort of had the no one steals my life thinking, that out smart out play the OW.
every conversation touch was part of the plan it was really difficult for me to be patient i have problem solving personality. i kept myself busy with my life, exercised, spent time with my boys.
slowly the contrast effect that happened between his 8 week affair and our 23 years together starting making more sense to him.
somedays he would be real angry at me, i just told him to keep in mind none of what was happening to his reputation was my fault, the OW's husband was on his case and spreading the good news to anyone that would listen.
I think he started to feel safe with me in our home.
i just let him suffer his choices i just said i understood his choices were creating a lot of anger in his life and that could all stop if we stood united, my husband still worked with his OW for 6 months after d-day she finally landed a new job and a new boyfriend. It angers me she got away with it all with no real consequences but I still work on the urge to get some kind of revenge but I believe in that karma bus I know it's coming some day and i will be high 5ing myself.
in my situation I figured I had nothing to lose. out smart out wit the evil in this world��.quietly with a plan��..


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
I see the wife is on her schedule to OM house, right after taking SS to school. I'm going to have to get a PI so I can get pictures.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
I know the affair death after exposure is 6 months. I just wonder how do I compete with this. I will bring her the cake today. with the note.


Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/16/14 07:11 AM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
I just hate this gut wrenching pain I get in my stomach. I remember when this women was the president of my fan club, and now I feel like public enemy number one.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Originally Posted by Littlebit3
How about something like, "I hope that is only temporary. I truly hope you and SS will come home to stay very soon. I see that I made many mistakes, and I am working hard to become a better husband and father. Together we can work through anything." Or something along those lines.
Originally Posted by Sunnytimes
"did you happen to notice that your wife and 1 of your kids are not living in the same house as you? Not so amazing!"

I'd go with something like "Yes, I have really missed _____" (something you always did together that involves several senses and evokes a memory, like the smell of coffee while you packed DD & SS's lunch, or such)



There is no good response to be had. Reason you are making LB withdrawals by arguing, debating, and trying to educate the WW. None of that is doing a plan A.

Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 912
Originally Posted by jessitaylor
she will say no more than yes for a while, i would like take it hour by hour, a good day was a hug a text something really small.
i would just look at it like i'm fighting for us even if he didn't help, there are just as many good memories as bad. if it didn't work then at least i tried.
i sort of had the no one steals my life thinking, that out smart out play the OW.
every conversation touch was part of the plan it was really difficult for me to be patient i have problem solving personality. i kept myself busy with my life, exercised, spent time with my boys.
slowly the contrast effect that happened between his 8 week affair and our 23 years together starting making more sense to him.
somedays he would be real angry at me, i just told him to keep in mind none of what was happening to his reputation was my fault, the OW's husband was on his case and spreading the good news to anyone that would listen.
I think he started to feel safe with me in our home.
i just let him suffer his choices i just said i understood his choices were creating a lot of anger in his life and that could all stop if we stood united, my husband still worked with his OW for 6 months after d-day she finally landed a new job and a new boyfriend. It angers me she got away with it all with no real consequences but I still work on the urge to get some kind of revenge but I believe in that karma bus I know it's coming some day and i will be high 5ing myself.
in my situation I figured I had nothing to lose. out smart out wit the evil in this world��.quietly with a plan��..

I appreciate the information. Was he living in the house, I think if she was in the house it would be more effective. It just blows my mind and what does this guy have or what is he doing. Or is it my wife.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 395
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 395
You don't know what is happening when she visits OM. Could be conflict and stress! Be patient and strategic.

You had two good days in a row. Yes, yesterday was a good day. You interacted with her through your texts without a tantrum in response. You reminded her of your love and admiration.

Two in a row. Good work.

The poundcake is a good plan.


Me 58: FWH (NC 32 yr), W 60, married 36 yr, DD 32
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Originally Posted by ItCanGetBetter
I'd look into filing a complaint with the medical board regarding the dr that wrote the false report. A threat to his license may be more effective than a civil suit.

It sounds like he's a quack who's found a job in which his patients don't choose him.

Under pressure he's likely to spill who influenced him

I'd also try to get him recused from any future care or evaluations involving you.



Do both but do not make a move before you talk to your lawyer. You do not want to do anything to harm your civil case.

Page 95 of 108 1 2 93 94 95 96 97 107 108

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (1 invisible), 683 guests, and 50 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5