Thanks MelodyLane

How would I get my son mothers day? Get IM to email him later in the week and request it?

Going to work on my Plan B letter and when I will deliver.

I think I just need to post here often about what's going on and not remain dark on here (only to WH).

Does it matter that my last conversation with WH was me LB'ing?

I got upset and was crying. I don't want him to have this last impression of me.

Yes the emergency message can be passed on by IM. Scotland did that.


The IM email seems good too.

Your IM will make those arrangements. Do you have a cut and dry visitation schedule?

Don't doubt your appeal, RS. Your appeal is very strong which is why he wants to keep you around. If you were angry and throwing things, maybe, but tearfulness is to be expected from a reasonable spouse betrayed by an affair. Your pain was valid and I think it probably accesses his guilt nicely.

If it makes you feel better let him see you one last time dressed up and cheerful, but I don't see it as very necessary. I think it is more necessary we get you in a cheerful Plan B.

You poor bunny. Hugs (((( RS)))))

Yes! you did that so you could be naughty, didnt you?

I would have been so naughty without this forum!

HAHAHAHA so I did! If you could call those sheer little gossamer scraps "panties".

Don't waste too much time on this - you do have many more important things to worry about, but if the opportunity arose to stick a pair under the seat of his car, take it.

You HAVE to get dark, chickie!!! You have a 100% chance of a wonderful, joyful life if you do, and still some chance to R your M. Your current method leaves you with 0% chance of R, and 0% chance of a good life for yourself. I know that's not what you want, or you wouldn't be back.

What do y'all think of her just handing WH the PBN (Plan B Note) in person at the next p/u or dropoff, and then walk away? It has the added advantage of OW being on the phone to hear the whole thing. WH will not have any response to it, good or bad, that will satisfy OW.

I must have accidentally had snark for breakfast, because it just popped into my head to hand him a pair of panties with a note pinned to them. "When you want some more of this, go on a diet and lose 150 pounds of unwanted fat."

I'd better go eat something sugary. Clearly I'm not as sweet as usual.

I. Love. Neak.



I like it but I don't think he would let the OW hear it and it would tip him off that he needs to prevent her seeing the letter .

If WH even had to hang up suddenly, OW would flip out. And getting a copy to OW is no more difficult whether WH gets his copy in person or emailed. It's just important to not tell him that she's going to get a cc.

This OW sounds off-the-charts insecure. I mean, they're all a little frooty, There's only so long you can live with a limpet before you start getting the urge to scrape it off.

And I loves me some Indie, too.

Yes I have been very naughty haven't I Indie! Very very naughty. I need to change that thought.

The pick up and drop off is pretty much cut and dry. It's every Monday and Wednesday at 6pm and every Sunday at 3pm. It's also every second Saturday at 8.45 when my H picks up my son to take him to his tennis lesson.

Hi Neak

Thanks for dropping in. I love your idea of panties under the seat if I get a chance but not sure I will or not.

I don't think I will hand WH the letter at the next drop off though. The next drop off will be Saturday morning at 8.45 when he picks up son for tennis. I would prefer not to wait that long. I would rather email him at work before the weekend and do the letter that way.

He doesn't access his email on the weekends so if I send it to his work email by Friday I know it will be received. If I send it on the weekend he won't read until Monday.

I'm thinking I plan out letter today, send tonight so he will receive Friday.

RS, do you have your IM all lined out? Do you understand her role? She is only supposed to be a SPAM filter who passes on pertinent information about finances and child visitation. IN HER OWN WORDS. She needs to protect you from phony, insincere overtures or tirades.

That has to be settled before you go into Plan B because you will have to include the IM's name in your letter. We can help your IM offline with all of this.

I know what will happen if I give WH the letter at drop off while he's on the phone to her. He will do anything in his power to shoo me away and not let her hear that I am there next to him. I would be lucky if he even opened the window in case she heard.

I was once in a ticked off mood and I deliberately opened his car door and said loudly Hi DS. You should have seen the look on WH's face. He was horrified that she would have heard me.

Hmmm maybe I should play that to my advantage....maybe I should open the door and let her hear me.

Hi Melody

There is an IM that I want to use. One of my friends. I am going to ask her today. I'm praying she will say yes. I won't be sending the PPL until I have her okay I can use her.

ok good!! Ask her if she can remain completely NEUTRAL with him and agree to only pass on pertinent information about visitation and finances, in her words. Her job is to act as a SPAM filter only. He will try his best to get around her and may even refuse to deal with her. So be prepared for all that.

You can ask the moderators for my email address and give it to your IM. I will help her navigate any difficult situations.

Hi RS, I remember you and your story and I hope you will stick around this time and not disappear if you decide you want to break Plan B like before.

I know the 2x4s suck but sometimes that is what's needed when someone is not thinking clearly....

This was my last post to you, and then you disappeared.


I point this out because I don't want a repeat of last time.

If you feel "weak" or that you need contact w WH to "get stronger", please post to us and we will set you straight.

Again, I am afraid if you don't acknowledge some of these missteps you will be in for Plan C, part 2.

Look at it this way.

Every time you meet your WH's ENs while he is still living with OW, you reward his bad behavior and fuel his entitled, cake-eating mindset...

and you move a step further away from any hope of recovering this marriage and also continue to compromise your mental health.

Really commit to Plan B this time. Acknowledge that you are VERY WEAK when it comes to contacting your WH and take whatever steps you can to really avoid seeing him or hearing form him.

We want you to be successful.