See? You know this stuff. We're just here to echo what you're already telling yourself.

Thanks Neak and Susie

Today I feel horrible. It's only day 4 but I can't stop crying and feel like I can't breathe.

I was triggered because my DS said to me that Daddy said to him that he might buy a new house. He doesn't remember when he said it to him.

I just told my DS that he can't tell me anything else about Daddy and OW because it upsets me too much.

I hate all the promises WH has made me about being back together and as soon as I am out of the picture it's like he's been given a green light to go and plan a future with OW. It's like he doesn't give a rat's a$$ about me anymore.

And today my friend said to me 'You know he's never coming back don't you'. It hurt so much and I nearly cried. Why can't people be supportive of me.

This sucks. It hurts so much. My H should be here holding me and making it better but he is too busy being at OW beck and call.

I know I have to stop thinking about him and OW but I can't. I'm so scared and upset. I can't believe he has been doing this to me for so long and will now probably buy a house with her because she is pushing and his parents are pushing too.

What hope do I really have of getting him back. I feel like I've lost all chances.

I'm going to pick myself back up, I know I will. I'm just having a crap day.

It is temporary, Rock. Get a stockpile of funny movies to help. They help so much!

So does doing stuff with your son.

When any friends give you 'sage' advice just say you have a plan that is entirely focused on you.

One of the biggest pay offs of Plan B is it makes you so obviously self reliant and resilient, so obviously working to your own good, that people lay off you.

Except for trying to fix you up but that's a whole different battle.

I would say that dating during separation causes such a mess that I would have no part of it. People would exchange 'she's such a fanatic' looks.

But that's the thing about introducing an idea to people and then letting it marinate - they can see the sense for themselves if they have any. Now many people who thought I was odd think the same way.

How are you sleeping and eating? Are you exercising?

Have you thought about AD's for the short term?

Don't worry Indie I have no intention of dating anybody. I don't believe in that. I don't want a temporary feel good fix. The only way I would ever date again would be if I was divorced and even then I just can't see myself dating ever again. That's just the way I feel right now.

My son has been making me laugh he is such a sweetheart. He's my strength through all this.

Susie I haven't been exercising at all. I have quite a physical job so every day I get home I am quite exhausted. I know I should try to fit some in somewhere. I remember Jedi Knight (I think) saying somewhere that exercise kills depression.

The sleeping is okay but I wake up early hours of the morning thinking of my husband and can't get back to sleep.

The eating is not so great. When I have my son I cook healthy meals for us because I always want him to eat good.

But when it's just me I'm afraid I don't eat that great. It's like a huge effort to eat something good and I just end up snacking.

I was on AD for a while 6 months ago but I found they made me extremely tired. I tried them for a while a month or two and then when my H and I were seeing each other again I came off them, I guess cause he was making me feel good.

I have a prescription left for the AD's that I could get again. I've been thinking I should start them again.

Was wondering if you are allowed to take prescription AD's with you when you go out of the country? I am going to Canada in 6 weeks. I wasn't sure if you are allowed to just take stuff like that with you.

Do you think I will feel a little better in 6 weeks? I really hope so because I want to have a great holiday with my DS.

I was reading on another thread that some people do an olive branch in Plan B when they've been in Plan B over a month? I think it was you Neak that said SH sometimes suggested this.

I was wondering if I should do this in 6 weeks time just before I'm about to jet off and leave the country for 2 weeks?

I'm kind of thinking that I should NOT do this because I need to be SUPER STRICT because I haven't been in the past, and it would just undo all my hard work. Thoughts?

Or should I need not be thinking of this right now and just concentrate on healing myself. I'm guessing the latter.

I miss my H so much. Getting through each day is a huge achievement for me.

I bought Love Must Be Tough by James Dobson due to some people talking about it here.

Any other book recommendations I should get? I have SAA and HNHN.

Thank you for your support everyone.

Please call your doctor about the ADs. Dr Harley recommends them if you are struggling.

Re exercise, please try to even do something small like taking a short walk with your son for 15 mins in the evening. The fresh air and being outside is great. There are also HIIT/tabata (sp?) workouts on youtube that are as short as 4 mins if you only do one cycle. Please try to do something. Exercise has helped me through some tough times!

Yes, but you have to MAKE it happen! Try not to talk about WH or OW anymore!

Talk about what you are doing each day to make your life/health better for you and your DS.

Absolutely not.

You have to stop using Plan B as a means to get your WH back. This is about YOU.

The book,***EDIT*** is one that has been continuously referred to be on the reading list.

LTL

Thanks LTL I will look that one up

Okay Susie I will try not talk about him and OW. I will try and heal as best as I can and focus on myself. I am willing to do everything that everybody says here so I can become strong and a better person.

I actually was exercising a few months ago and doing some exercise videos on youtube. I like the dance ones and actually did one of those short tabata ones. That was definately a great workout in such a short time and so hard! I did feel better afterwards.

I actually do feel better when I get out in the sunshine. About once or twice a fortnight I do get out with my son and I take him to the local bike path and he rides his scooter and I walk. I do always feel good when I have that fresh air on my face. I will try and do more of this.

Another thing I do to get outside is I jump on the trampoline with my DS. That's always fun and he loves it. We do that a few times a week after school.

I've wanted to take hula hooping classes for a while but there's none near where I live. I might buy a hula hoop and a video and do that at home too.

I want to do a writing course too that's a goal I've had for a while. The one I want to do is expensive so I will save up for that when I return from my trip.

I won't do the olive branch. I will concentrate on myself.

I feel I probably wouldn't be strong enough anyway.

**edit**

moderator's note: Please familiarize yourself with our TOS and stop recommending books/resources that are not approved by Dr. Harley.

The olive branch idea was at 6 months, not 1. And after it led a number of BS's to use it as an excuse for just one more C, and just one more C, and pretty soon nothing left of what had once been a good Plan B, it was discarded as forum advice.

I have no idea if SH still recommends it or not, but I do not. For every one PB person that could use it to good effect, there's at least 500 who would find it a stumbling block. It's just not worth it.

Carry on as you are, soldier.

Thanks Neak I won't do it.

I've already done one more C so many times over the last 6 months and do feel it would be a hindrance to my plan. I'll stick to my plan. It's so hard but I'm just taking it one day at a time. Thanks for clearing it up for me.

I'm on day 5 today. That's a record for me in Plan B. I've found that changing my phone number and email has really helped or I would have been tempted to call him again. Hope this gets easier soon.

Think I will take a walk tonight. Have been watching comedy shows and doing lots of reading.

You've already pulled up the whole olive tree by the roots and thrown it at his head.

FIVE days already? Good job!! Keep up the great work, and keep on taking care of yourself. Every day you'll set a new record for Plan B. Every Single Day.

haha you made me laugh then Neak about me pulling up the whole tree by it's roots. I definately have done that haven't I!

If only it had been enough to knock him out of the fog!

Thanks I needed a laugh

Surely the olive branch would only apply to men anyway? I can see it being effective on a WW but I can't see it being valuable with a WH even if it were not such a damaging thing for the BW.

I'm VERY proud of your progress Rock, I see a whole new spirit of determination in you.

I second asking your doctor about ADs - if you have a physical job try the salute to the sun yoga pose, there are YouTube videos to teach you. It can wake you up or stretch you in the morning or release tired muscles at night. It's a full body work out and takes only a few mins. Make sure you don't strain beyond a comfortable stretch while trying it though.

I want to hear all about your bucket list, your Plan B pick me ups and what colour your toes are! What is your travel itinerary, your travel wardrobe?

As for eating, I didn't cook much in early Plan B days either. Have some healthy snackable foods on hand, like nuts, salads and antipasto. Crudit�s and dip, or wraps and cooked chicken. Bagels and salmon, sardines and multigrain crackers. Nice bread, soft cheese, cherry tomatoes. My heathen picnics were great fun when there was only myself to please. If it's the days when you don't have your son, why not go out to eat with a girlfriend or have a real picnic?