Onto my 3rd week of Plan B now. Gosh this is so hard. Thoughts that are running through my head now is how he can just so easily let me struggle through this pain for so long.

I know 3 weeks isn't probably very long but it has felt like a lifetime of loneliness.

Probably because I'm so used to being in contact with him prior to this.

So sad today.

So onwards I plod and plan my holiday. Can't come soon enough :-)

You need nice things every day. The nail polish is a wonderful start.



So good! I'm on a hen party in Wales. We strolled up Mount Snowden today, it was so pretty and dramatic, I felt I was in Lord of the Rings. Then we put on posh frocks and pearls and went to dinner. The bride to be had a lovely time as did we hens. Still early but I'm in my hotel bed with tea and biscuits. My leg muscles are screaming a bit. I miss my bf a lot but we're spending the day together tomorrow so I can tell him all the weekends gossip.

Everyone is very excited about my new career. I still can't believe how much Plan B changed my life. I identified a hidden wayward today with my Plan B skills.

Frauds are easy to spot after you've gone through Plan B.

There you are, making gold out of hay and someone interrupts the thread of direction, pretending to be divinely inspired... But they are easy to spot.

Mom found some PEI pics for me. I'll have to scan them in and share. Hard to believe the kids were that little!

One foot in front of the other, and you'll make it. (Unless you're my mom, in which case you'll break your foot. Again. )

Indie the mountain sounds amazing. I love LOTR too!

How long have you been with BF? I'm not finished your thread yet..about half way there. I bet you set him a massive bar to reach! And so you should have too!

Wow do tell about the hidden wayward! How did you spot them? And did you do anything about it or felt it wasn't your place?

Can't wait to see the pics Neak! I know they will be amazing.

Thanks for the support. It means so much from people who've been there. I have read your story a long time ago will have to go back and read again. How long were you in Plan B for?

I definately won't be breaking my foot that's for sure!

Indie

I was just reading on your thread where people started commenting you were getting your spark back. That's what I want for myself too.

I act happy on the outside to everyone, but there's that inner sadness and I have no spark. I smile but it doesn't reach my eyes (except when I'm with my darling son).

Im sorry you took it that way. I was trying to explain HOW his FAMILY is possibly viewing the situation and why they are treating you the way they are. No I DO NOT CONDONE ADULTRY. I have a hard time having a relationship with my big sister after she had an affair on my BIL. Divorce should always be BEFORE starting a new relationship.

I already see little sparks in you.

Thanks Indie.

So I have a Plan B question. There is a document that I MUST get H to sign before I go on my trip. It's a consent form that allows me to take our son abroad.

So I want to know which is the option I should take.

1. Get IM to post it in the mail to him and ask him to sign it and send it back.

2. When pick up next happens of my son, get my son to take it to him with a pen, ask him to sign it there and then and then bring it back to me.

3. Put form in my son's school bag at next pick up with a sticky note that says' Please sign and put back in bag'.

The problem with option 1 is my H may not sign it straight away and may not post it back straightaway. I need this form as soon as possible.

Option 3 probably not so good as me writing a sticky note is contact. And he may not sign straightaway either.

I've probably waited too long to get this form sign but I wasn't sure if I needed it or not. Seems I need it as a precaution and I don't want to NOT have it, just in case I do need it.

So is option 2 my best bet where son takes the form out to his car and gets a signature right there and then and brings it back to me. Is this breaking contact through my son?

I don't want to have to wait for the form.

Thoughts please?

Eeek this is a tough one. It took all Scottys strength to get a similar one done. 2 is probably most effective, but it sets a bad precedent of your son becoming a messenger and you don't want that happening the other way about.

I'd tell your son, he can ask dad to sign it if HE would like to, otherwise you'll get your messenger to ask dad.

Rock, I know what form you are talking about. I had my exH sign one for my daughter but my oldest son's dad wasnt in our lives so I couldn't get one from him. Anyway, the form was never asked for so it was a lot of stress for nothin. If he signs it, great, if not, don't worry bout it.

Thanks indie and rocket queen.

You're right indie I don't think it's fair my son to be a messenger.

So I've spoken to my IM.
She wants to send an email to my H asking him if he will meet her at my son's school to sign the form when he drops my son on his day. My IM has a child at the school too so she will be there anyway.

She wants to do it the right way and give him a chance to reply yes or no. She doesn't want to just confront him at the school with no warning.

I think this is a good idea. I'm sure my WH will not object.

I can't stop crying again today. I'm done with the hurt and cruel treatment. If he wanted me he would have left her. I know it's over. I can't deal with this anymore. Bet OW is feeling pretty good that she nabbed a married man. Having a bad day.

I guess I feel sad cause my IM sent the message to H and he replied straightaway and said it was fine to meet her and sign the form.

I should be happy but makes me sad he can reply to her but not make one scrappy effort to try and reach me. I know it's not Plan B thinking but still hurts that he hasn't even tried or given me a thought.

I can't deal with this anymore I am so hurt and angry that he just continues on like I'm nothing. Actions speak louder than words and his actions are crystal clear. What's the point. OW has won.

I miss him so much. I just want to talk to him. This sucks

Think I should just go straight for divorce. The pain and using I have endured for the last two years is just unbearable. I don't know how much hurt I can endure.

Rock these are feelings, not logic. Logically you know you have more road to cover and that it will be hard from time to time. Rest, reboot, continue.



You don't have any idea about his thoughts. You don't have any idea what 'spam' messages your IM had to filter. You have no hook to hang these ruminations on, so quit it.



I think you're at that three week low-point. I remember it well. Keep hold of your plan. You don't want to have to do withdrawal all over again!

Three weeks, Rock!! Are you proud of you? I am.

I bet that you are already headed to the upswing part of the rollercoaster after dipping so low. That's how it works.



Since January last year. He had a pretty high bar too



I was having a conversation with two friends in a pub and they were discussing an affair that had happened in their workpalce a few years back. My friend said: "The most puzzling thing was what he could possibly have seen in her, she was awful" to which I replied, half-listening and almost automatically: "Oh people do tend to 'affair down'."

A woman sitting near us piped up in a hysterical tone: "What do you mean 'affair down' - what does that mean?" To me, her tone of voice, desperate and offended, was practically an announcement to the room that she was wayward. However no one else seemed to notice.

So I replied: "Oh it's a turn of phrase" and refused to fill the silence that followed. It's not my task to educate her.

So she responded: "Yes but meaning what?"

"Oh you know when you see a tabloid story about affairs, the affair partner is usually..."

"No I don't! I don't read tabloids!"

"Oh, OK."

"Do you mean that when people have an affair, their husband and wife is usually better than they are?"

"Yes that what it measn. Surprised you haven't heard it before."

Then I ignored her but her eyes were wild. I'd see her around the rest of the weekend and she would constantly be scanning my face as though I had a riddle on it. She didn't wear a ring so I would guess she is a mistress waiting on her fellow wayward's empty promises. Poor fool.

Okay I like that Indie. Feelings not logic.

So I'm grounded again. Gosh these feelings really do change from one minute to the next don't they. I felt okay-ish this week but then really down today.

So three weeks in is the worst? So it must be going to get better very soon I hope!

You know what when I was crying this afternoon I was so close to dialling his number and telling him I loved him. To get some reassurance.

So what stopped me?

1) I didn't want to undo all the hard work I had done and knew I would have to start all over. I couldn't do that as I had come so far.
2) I imagined my friends on MB being dissapointed in me.
3) I thought of Dr Harley and knew that he knew best and everyone on MB knows best.

So what did I do instead?

I pulled myself together and dialled a girlfriend and she cheered me up. I then went and tickled my DS and we laughed.

Onwards again.

I am proud of myself for not caving.