Sir, you need to EXPOSE tODAY.
Carefully follow the exposure thread and also post the lover on www.cheaterville.com ; you can include a link to that exposure posting in your exposure letters

What should I do?

Now it is time to expose to everyone on his FB list, to your family, your wife's family, and anyone associated with the school and his businesses. Follow Melody Lane's instructions for exposure under her signature.

You are a man of action, and that will serve you well so long as you check in with us to help you follow the plan to the T.

After you have completed exposure to everyone, that POSOM may reconsider calling you again and trying to pacify you. What a scum bag. He will learn that he has messed with the wrong man.

You have a lot of work to do. Your wife will be furious after you expose, but simply and calmly explain to her WITHOUT APOLOGIZING that you are fighting for your marriage and exposed the affair to save it. But first things first. Begin drafting your letter to expose the affair.

Here is a sample letter:

Dear friends and family,

I am writing you this message because you are an important person in the lives of xxxx and I. To my shock, I am saddened to have discovered that she has been carrying on an affair with one of her former instructors named xxxxx xxxxx who resides in xxxxxx.

I want our marriage to recover from this affair. If you have any influence on xxxxxx, please do what you can to get her to stop this dangerous affair. I want to stay married, but the affair must end.

As our friends and family, I am asking that you use your influence with xxxx to persuade her to end her affair and try to work on our marriage. Our marriage can be salvaged if she would only end the affair. Please support her in doing the right thing. Please support our marriage.

I would so appreciate your support and prayers.

Warmest regards,

Everyone is telling me not to. I feel it will not be a good idea.
I'm stuck! And wha t about my affairs? They were not exposed...
She said she started her affair right after mine. But the difference is that mine lasted 2 weeks and hers have develop into a love relationship...

First read the Exposure 101 link under Melodylane's signature.

Then get yourself some water and fruit, some protein, to nibble on.

Then start exposing!

DO NOT trickle the exposure out over days. Do it all today. Read what Melody says in her link about FB exposure (pay the $1 for each message, and space them out over 2-3 minutes).

Who is everyone?

All of us HERE are telling you to expose!

Do you have a list of close personal friends who have all been through affairs AND have recovered their own marriages?

Ok I will start exposing today. Good point.
Should I expose to the school he works at where they met. To the dean? I feel that will get him fired...

GOOD MAN!

Don't worry about the dean yet.

Focus on your wife's and the OM personal friends, family, and Facebook contacts.

We will help you to make a well-thought out and logical decision about the dean either later today or tomorrow.

For right now�

Start exposing! The first one is the hardest. Get past that first one and then you just keep on rolling!

We're with ya!

No, we are telling you that you should expose. "Everyone" has no earthly idea how to kill an affair and save your marriage.. You should expose her affair because it is ongoing. The purpose of exposure is to kill her affair, not to air all of your dirty laundry. I agree at some point you should tell family about your affair, but don't muddy the waters today.

One more thing. Due to unfortunate financial and personal circumstances we had to unwillingly divorce in 2009 and stay together just for love. Once we had gone through the obstacles we were planning on getting married again. Because of that we had to open our business entirely under her name and the house that we rent is only under her name as well. Meaning that she has the power to kick me out of the business and out of the house if she wants to... I am in a very vulnerable position and I feel that exposing will start a war I can loose.

What were the circumstances?

long sad story. It really doesn't matter, but the fact is that we are not married and we were going to remarried once we opened our business and things started to work our way...
And the fact is that she is in control of all the legal power. I run the house, the money, and the business but she owns everything and own nothing...

You should have told us that you werent married in the first place.
Dr. Harley's programs are designed for married couples.
You are not married; you are divorced and shacking up; this is a terrible role model for your son.

At this point, I think you should cancel the exposure plans and instead read the book Buyers Renters and Freeloaders by Dr. Willard Harley.

(However, you can expose but keep in mind that she ended her commitment to monogamy when the divorce was finalized).

I agree that the circumstances don't really matter now, but the fact that you are no longer married changes everything.

You don't have the right to call this an affair (although it is infidelity) and you no longer have the basis on which to expose. You certainly don't have the right to post this on Cheaterville and I have my doubts about trying to ruin his professional reputation.

MB's exposure plans are created on the basis that a couple is legally and spiritually bound in marriage, and recognised as such by the wider community. All this scumbag OM needs to say in his defence is that this isn't an affair because she isn't married to you.

I think you should try and bring the "affair" to and end because you are bringing up your child together and living as if married. It is important to your son's security that his mother stays with you and does not replace you with another man. However, I don't think that the moral argument underpinning exposure exists for you.

I know I am so sad about this... We we only spiritually bound and felt that nothing could harm our relationship despite what happened.
Should I start to expose to my wife's family who adores me?
Her close friends?
I don't have anyone I could expose in the side of the lover...

I think it does.

To me it makes no sense that anybody could be forced to divorce and live together - I don't see how that could happen, and to me it strongly says that somebody was not thinking rationally, possibly her or possibly you. The circumstances that would prompt such a decision are probably very significant.

I haven't exposed yet. I am home feeling like crap. My son is doing better but he knows what happened. I am not sure what I am going to do. I would love to stay and work on my family but I feel that being here and not making a decision makes me look weak. I am calmed at least and not making stupid emotional decisions. I have talked to my family and friends to get support.
I wish I knew better how to handle a marriage before I went into all the problems. We make such a good couple and it's sad that we had to learn our mistakes and our relationship suffer from it.

This to me sounds really similar to "we did not get married because we couldn't afford a wedding" - the truth is that nearly anybody can afford to go to a justice of the peace and get married.

People don't get married because one or both want to reserve the right to abandon the relationship if it doesn't work out for them. And whatever circumstances were behind this decision to divorce but live together, I would imagine there is something similar.

I meant that I wanted to expose to the people the he works with. He just purchased a dental office and has a doctor partner. My wife told me she has visited them several times and on her messages I wrote that he introduced her to all of them and they all loved her... i don't know how he introduced her as if as a friend or a more than that....

I don't know if they have a policy in the school against teacher student affairs...

markos it is a very sad long story the reason that we had to get divorced. And we couldn't remarried until we get through the problem. The sad truth is that we are no longer legally married and we used to joke how we did not need that "paper" to be the happiest family...

I don't think I will be able to get a hold of her phone again since she keeps it very close to her...

thanks for the help