I'm not buying the noble guy act, though. Concealing crimes isn't really noble.

It wasnt even our mistake. It was a stupid attorney we hired...

This is good advice.

It wasnt a crime markos please stop making bad assumptions.

Btw when I told my son about moms affair I told him I also had an affair. I feelt it could only be fair.
I have gone through so much pain that I have been thinking I should expose the affair i had to my ex-lover's husband. Is that a good idea even it happened a year ago?

But you invite all kinds of assumptions with the dodgy act about it. What are we supposed to think?

Even if it's not a crime, concealing it still isn't noble.

Whether legally a "crime" or not, it clearly wasn't victimless.

I really wish you know markos so you wouldnt think that way.

It is possible for two people to PoJA a mistake. Generally two heads are better than one but two smokers who agree to smoke will still get cancer. You took away the safety net of commitment.



What I do know about you is that you are not very forthright. You make a false show to the court for a lawsuit, you dodge questions here... that is a habit that is not serving you well.




This really is silly. An attorney works for you, not you him. He does as he is told. Anyone who told me to toss out my marriage vows would be fired.


No one is stopping you from telling us.

I have some other ideas, but can't advise while you are still so vague.

Clearly you don't want me to know, so this is just a dishonest statement.

Yes get a good friend to give him pertinent details and your contact number if he wishes to speak to you.

It appears you hid your assets from the court by faking a divorce, then used the "not married anymore" card to have sex with someone else, while continuing to fake to your ex-wife that your divorce was fake.

Lovemyfamily2000, you have really just been loving yourself - not your family.

Now that you are reaping the consequences you don't like them, but I'm not sensing that you have had a change in your heart to become a person with integrity.

MarriageBuilders isn't about soothing over consequences; it's based on having integrity in your relationships and in your life.

Your entire thread is ripe with dishonest behaviour in attempts to protect yourself. It is clearly a pattern in how you live your life.

Rather than adultery, it seems the woman you divorced is exploring her options. Since you are divorced, you committed adultery in the marriage, she is probably thinking that its time to move on. A poor prospect he may be, a choice nonetheless.

For you see, this thread is riddled in lying to save your own behind and minimizing to make yourself look better. It was fine as long as it all went your way but now you pay the price of years of dishonesty.

Good luck sir, I do hope you can reunite your family but you need some serious personal growth first.

I keep getting attacked and disagreed on by everyone to the fact that i exposed my wifes affair to my son. No one agrees. My wife's friends and family, the school counselor, etc. The only ones that are with me are my family members.
What can I tell my wife to understand the fact?
I came back home after leaving for only one night and told her she was the one in default and I love my family dearly. She said she was leaving and wants to take the kid (8yrs old) who is a little upset with her. She says kids' should be with their moms. She is furious I told him. Furious.
Please help.
I really appreciate all the help. I have learned a lot from you guys and if it wasn't for you I would have only found out the calls and not the reality and depth of it.
I'm devastated. Completely devastated. I can't sleep. This is rough.

Please help! Please!!!!
It just hit me and I can't stop crying. I'm devastated and now my poor son is traumatized.

Please read this. It has Dr. Harley's explanation that you can share with others about exposing to children.

Exposing to Children

Thanks, it alleviates the pain a little and makes me understand a little more. Although my wife says we could have just say that sometimes parents stop loving each other and when that happens is better to go separate ways.
My mother-in-law lives with us and at this moment my wife is out with my son and a realtor looking for what she wants our son to think will be "grandma's home" but of course will be his new home because she is planning to take him with her. Something I disagree. How should I act towards that? She says she does not want our son to have any anxiety for what's going on and during the process.

At this point, I think you should focus your efforts on reading Buyers Renters and Freeloaders

Dear builders, just when I was about to pull the trigger and decided that I will no longer continue in this relationship why wife has agreed on work on our family. My decision came after last night she went off insulting me and saying that I am not the man of her life. That her lover was pissed and was going to sue me for invation of privacy and hat I have been a looser all this months trying to save something that was obviously not working. She pushed me, screamed and went crazy. She was excusing herself saying that she was not having sex with me at the same time she was with him. And that she told me several times she wants to be alone. She also said her lover told her I told him we were having sex. Basically I could tell her fury came from knowing ai destroyed her love affair.
She went really nuts and furious. My sun went upstairs and saw her faighing with me pulling my shirt and screaming at me. I can tell she acted like that because her lover broke up with her... I'm glad I've been reading how to survive an affair so I was expecting this and I am expecting a long period of withdrawal and depression from her. I convinced her to send he lover and nc letter and to give me her phone passcode. I am planning on installing the spyware on her phone cause I dont trully believe she will end communication 100%.
I also convinced her to expose her affair to her mother who lives with us that just got home from out of town.
I am planning on plan a her and expect up to 6 months of withdrawal and a bumpy road. I am extremely happy she decided o to all this but at the same time I am scared it will still not work out because I don't see her having what it takes and sacrificing and committing to work on her family.
Just wanted to give an update and hear any comments or sugestions.
Thanks all

Again, my main suggestion is to read Buyers Renters Freeloaders.
Dr. Harley's materials are designed for people that have made a public commitment to marriage.

Neither you nor your wife take marriage seriously so I don't think you will find success by trying to apply his materials to your relationship.