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Joined:  Oct 2011 Posts: 167 Member |  
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LG, I didn't mean to mischaracterize your situation . Its hard to imagine any kind of spousal abuse causing the level of psychological and physiological pain amd anguish that an affair causes to a betrayed wife (you).I understand you are in plan B. I hope you can heal.
 
 Married 31 years, 5 kids, 4 GK
 
 
 
 
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Joined:  Feb 2014 Posts: 144 Member |  
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Joined:  Oct 2007 Posts: 7,449 Member |  
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Nope, it's amazing.   You just need to get through your own withdrawal.... |  |  |  
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Joined:  Feb 2014 Posts: 144 Member |  
| Member Joined:  Feb 2014 Posts: 144 | 
Update:
 He was starting to come around more, and I gave him the Plan C.  He then went back to OW, and is in a relationship.
 
 I'm fine with it all.
 
 I have a job that begins next month (better than any he has ever had), and they offer free schooling (in an area I want), awesome benefits, etc.  I am going to be moving out in August.  I have social service things until then.
 
 Husband doesn't see daughter...  he cancels on her constantly, and she seems to know she won't really see her 'daddy' anymore.  I only feel sadness for her now.
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Joined:  Nov 2011 Posts: 11,239 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Nov 2011 Posts: 11,239 | 
You would benefit immensely from Plan B |  |  |  
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Joined:  Jan 2012 Posts: 3,066 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Jan 2012 Posts: 3,066 | 
Update:
 He was starting to come around more, and I gave him the Plan C.  He then went back to OW, and is in a relationship.
Yes, that's what happens when you are in  Plan C (which is just not following Dr Harley's plan A or Plan B) the wayward will go back to OW and your marriage is more likely to lead to divorce for allowing more cake eating. |  |  |  
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Joined:  Feb 2014 Posts: 144 Member |  
| Member Joined:  Feb 2014 Posts: 144 | 
wait, I meant Plan B... I have the names mixed up.  Sorry. |  |  |  
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Joined:  Nov 2010 Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Nov 2010 Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 | 
Update:
 He was starting to come around more, and I gave him the Plan C.  He then went back to OW, and is in a relationship.
 
 I'm fine with it all.
 
 I have a job that begins next month (better than any he has ever had), and they offer free schooling (in an area I want), awesome benefits, etc.  I am going to be moving out in August.  I have social service things until then.
 
 Husband doesn't see daughter...  he cancels on her constantly, and she seems to know she won't really see her 'daddy' anymore.  I only feel sadness for her now.
Do you have an IM? 
 FWW/BW (me)
 WH
 2nd M for both
 Blended Family with 7 kids between us
 Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
 
 
 
 
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Joined:  Feb 2014 Posts: 144 Member |  
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Yes, I have an IM, but it doesn't really matter at this point, b/c he has nothing to do with our daughter anyway. |  |  |  
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Joined:  Nov 2010 Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 Member |  
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Yes, I have an IM, but it doesn't really matter at this point, b/c he has nothing to do with our daughter anyway.So when you are communicating about your DD, it's always done through an IM? You don't have any contact with your WH? 
 FWW/BW (me)
 WH
 2nd M for both
 Blended Family with 7 kids between us
 Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
 
 
 
 
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Joined:  Feb 2014 Posts: 144 Member |  
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That is correct.
 When I started doing this, he went back with OW.
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Joined:  Jul 2001 Posts: 5,247 Member |  
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How do you know he went back with OW? |  |  |  
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Joined:  May 2009 Posts: 2,708 Member |  
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How do you know he went back with OW?Yes. How? 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Joined:  Feb 2014 Posts: 144 Member |  
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My daughter told me... she said she was with him and he wasn't playing with her, he was kissing <insert name here>.
 She has a unique name, and someone looked her up on FB, and found out the date they started dating again.
 
 I'm fine with it all.. except things relating to our daughter, of course.
 
 The time he saw our daughter after that, I was informed that he kept looking towards the car as if someone else was in there.  He's also open about it with a few mutual friends now (they're not happy..)
 
Last edited by lonelygal84; 06/09/14 11:41 PM.
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Joined:  Nov 2011 Posts: 11,239 Member |  
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Going back with OW often leads to a breakdown in the affair.Now he must have all of his needs met by her.
 Have you done a background check on OW? Many betrayed spouses have obtained court orders that their children cannot be around the adultery partner
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Joined:  Nov 2011 Posts: 11,239 Member |  
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My daughter told me... she said she was with him and he wasn't playing with her, he was kissing <insert name here>.
 She has a unique name, and someone looked her up on FB, and found out the date they started dating again.
Did you ever expose to her family and post her on www.cheaterville.com  ? This is what you posted a few weeks ago: thank you, indiegirl!  Those responses are great.
 I actually didn't have to expose him to everyone.  His family is so large that they did it for me.  I can't contact her family- I don't know anything other than a very common name, and couldn't find them on facebook or anything.
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Joined:  Jun 2013 Posts: 1,391 Member |  
|   Member Joined:  Jun 2013 Posts: 1,391 | 
My daughter told me... she said she was with him and he wasn't playing with her, he was kissing <insert name here>.
 She has a unique name, and someone looked her up on FB, and found out the date they started dating again.
Did you ever expose to her family and post her on www.cheaterville.com  ? This is what you posted a few weeks ago: thank you, indiegirl!  Those responses are great.
 I actually didn't have to expose him to everyone.  His family is so large that they did it for me.  I can't contact her family- I don't know anything other than a very common name, and couldn't find them on facebook or anything.
It would seem as though you now have access to the OW's Facebook page information. Have you copied the contacts and done your exposure yet? LTL |  |  |  
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Joined:  Feb 2014 Posts: 144 Member |  
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yes, i contacted her family/friends, and the fact that he is married was known when they started dating again... It's publicly posted on her FB by one of her friends, even!
 It seems fairly common in her family, some friends are bothered by it, but she doesn't care what they think.
 
 
 
Last edited by lonelygal84; 06/15/14 09:37 PM.
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