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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
There's a reason I keep mentioning scratching. I gotten bitten up by mosquitoes, and it's about all I can think about. 
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
I'm just about to take my son to his sport but I will be back on later to reply.
We are going to go out and buy some activities to keep him busy on the plane.
I won't do the letter. I can get through this. Will post more later. Thanks every one x
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
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Posts: 11,650 |
Be really nice to yourself today
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
You deserve it. 
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
Okay Neak so I'm leaving the theatre and not looking back. I'll keep remembering that.
I wouldn't even be thinking of sending him a letter if I had stuck to my Plan B. I have to get back into my good state of mind.
I guess I just wanted to somehow remind him of all the good stuff he is missing out on, like DS's activities and achievements that he no longer comes to because OW doesn't let him. And good times in our lives that we shared.
But I guess I don't need to remind him of this. HE KNOWS.
My holiday can't come fast enough. I need to be away from all these thoughts.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
I definately do deserve to be nice to myself I will agree with that.
Unfortunately I have to work this afternoon after my DS is picked up. But tonight I think I will have a bath and read Anne's House Of Dreams.
I've realised when I'm cooped up in the house all day that I get miserable and start thinking too much. I need to get out in the sunshine more and do some outdoorsy things. Will have to brainstorm some ideas like picnics with my DS.
PEI will get me in the outdoors that's for sure!
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
Okay I won't do it. This is what happens when I pull myself back into the drama. I was doing so well prior to this.
Breathing. Nice food, funny movie, bath, pedicure?.. Definately a funny movie tonight I think along with a bath.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
There's a reason I keep mentioning scratching. I gotten bitten up by mosquitoes, and it's about all I can think about. Oh no I hope the mosquito bites stop itching soon. They're the worst!
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
First the bites, and by now, the scabs. I'm not a good skeeter person.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
I may even be on to my 3rd or 4th scabs in some places.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
We aren't in mosquito season here but I read that I should take insect repellant to Canada. You reminded me of that.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
I am going back on the AD'S. I think this is best with my state of mind at the moment.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956 Likes: 1
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956 Likes: 1 |
I am going back on the AD'S. I think this is best with my state of mind at the moment. That's probably a very good idea. The ADs are likely to be of great benefit in leveling out your emotions throughout the few months or so.
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
Thanks longwayfromhome. I think I probably came off them too early last time and didn't think I needed them anymore. Obviously I still need them.
Last edited by rocksolid; 06/16/14 04:13 AM.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
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Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
I know just what you mean. I tried to be too much of a hero with ADs. I would have shaved off a lot of healing time if I'd been more structured with them.
One of the big sand traps in Plan B in my opinion is how good it makes you feel fairly soon and mistaking that for being healed. When you're at the top of the roller coaster you feel invincible so you try to get out!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
Wow you're definately right on that Indie. I took them for a while and then felt good and thought 'Ha I don't need these anymore'!
I had some left so I took my first one this morning and went and got my last prescription filled this morning.
So I have 10 days to go till my trip. What are some ideas so I can get into a good frame of mind between now and then?
I do not want to be miserable on my trip and want to make it great for my son as well.
Tonight I have just been lying on the couch and really just resting and watching a funny show. My body is telling me that it really needs to rest.
I can't believe I'm back to square one with this. So I have to learn and push on.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
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OP
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
I know I used Plan B as a way to draw my H back. But I know I really need to heal now and do this for myself.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439 Likes: 4 |
I know I used Plan B as a way to draw my H back. But I know I really need to heal now and do this for myself. That's a huge misunderstanding that BSs may have. There isn't anywhere that Dr. Harley states that Plan B is to draw the WS back. Matter of fact, it's quite the opposite. Dr. Harley states that more than not that Plan B can lead to divorce. Plan B IS for the BS to get away from the abuse of the WS's affair and to heal. Do you understand that now?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
I know I used Plan B as a way to draw my H back. But I know I really need to heal now and do this for myself. That's a huge misunderstanding that BSs may have. There isn't anywhere that Dr. Harley states that Plan B is to draw the WS back. Matter of fact, it's quite the opposite. Dr. Harley states that more than not that Plan B can lead to divorce. Plan B IS for the BS to get away from the abuse of the WS's affair and to heal. Do you understand that now? Yes I definately do understand that now BrainHurts! I've learnt this the hard way that's for sure.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 497 |
I'm finding it so hard to go back Plan B. When i first started Plan B 5 weeks ago it didn't seem this hard and I coped okay.
I now feel hopeless like I did 6 months ago when WH first shot me down in his office and chose OW.
Maybe because he has shot me down again. I'm low and crying again. Maybe because I know deep down it is really over and things will not change.
I've only been back on AD's for 2 days so not seeing any results yet.
I really need encouragament to keep strong. I hate feeling so alone and not even having anyone to give me a hug.
I want to drag myself out of this hole.
Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW
Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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