MB does NOT emphasize forgiveness! For you to say that shows quite definitively that you are going with notions that are your own and don't come from here.

MB requires Just Compensation, not forgiveness. JC involves:

1) Never seeing, talking, or in any other form contacting the affair partner for life.
2) Abiding by Extraordinary Precautions that make this or any other affair essentially impossible.
3) Committing to a program of marital recovery that results in a romantic marriage that is better than the pre-affair marriage.

Forgiveness is not an MB concept, and giving away cheap forgiveness will actually undermine recovery.

I hear you but need to visit the OMW in person since I don't have her contact information. Perhaps I should wait to send emails to co-workers until I successfully meet the OMW with plenty of back-up to reveal my claim is true.

It says help me SAVE my marriage. People who save their marriages don't hand out forgiveness slips to people still in an A!

I realise this is all counter-intuitive but you will start to feel better when you start moving.

Knightstone, NO NO NO. You've already begun exposure by telling your son. The worst thing that you could possibly do now is TRICKLE it out.

I sure hope that you are off work today and will work on this until it is all done TODAY.

Please tell us WHO all is on your exposure list?

You need to contact her NOW and get this done. You have already started the exposure. Call her TODAY.

I am getting the sense that we are taking this much more seriously than you, Sir, and am extremely perturbed at these one liners that don't answer any of our questions.

You have already STARTED the exposure process and you need to finish it TODAY. Every passing moment reduces the effectiveness of a nuclear exposure and enables the affair to gather strength.

We can't help you if you don't take this as seriously as we do. Please note that the people posting to you ARE IN RECOVERED MARRIAGES. You are not.

Your focus has to be on getting everything done as quickly as possible.

Do you have the OMW address? If so, then you can get her contact info by googling a reverse phone match. If that doesn't work, sign up right NOW for freephonetracer.com (it isn't free) and do a people search. It will give all addresses and phone numbers last associated with that name.

I have the address:

edit this out, we are not allowed to post names and addresses here. Hurry up and click edit on the bottom of your post.

Get her address and drive right over there. If you can't do that, then call her and email her the evidence. You need to get this done asap before the OM gets to her and tells her lies........about you.

If I were you, I would take off work, drive over to her home and tell her. Then go home [or some other safe place] and start exposing.

This is beginning to feel like pulling teeth just to get you to help yourself. We seem to be doing all the work here and it is your marriage!

I'm heading to visit the OMW within the hour and have my back-up already. My list of exposure people are as follows:
WW Mom & Step Mom - Already know
My Mom & Step Dad - Already know
Our 18 Son - Already know

Co-workers: (via email w/ photo after I get back from OMW visit)

NOw, go to the OM's facebook page RIGHT NOW and copy and paste all his contacts into a text doc for safekeeping. When you get back from meeting with his wife, you need to epxosue to his facebook contacts.

And ALSO, I do not see the director of Human Resources on that list and their supervisors. You must send a letter to them too. TODAY.

And what are you sending your family memebers?

Before that list of people was removed, I see you had the OM on it. TAKE HIM OFF. He already knows about the affair.

Let him find out about your exposures from others.

Got it, I'll take him off the list.
Yes, one of her managers is on that list
I'll send a separate letter to them.
I basically have no family and my brother knows.
I'll hit his G+ contacts however they must be friends of mine. I can possibly tweet on his page.
Gotta run....I'll update. RT to Sanford and back is 2 hours.

Send an email to Human Resources and a key VP. Just sending it to one manager will not compel them to take action.


They don't have to be friends of yours in order to send them a private message. Copy the list and prioritize the contacts. Send them all a private message. It will cost you $1 to send it or it will go into their spam box.


Good deal!

Knightstone, he is on FB, I can see all of his 275 friends. She is on there too, with a photo of her holding a young girl.

Send this letter to the director of HR, both supervisors and a key VP, on the SAME email so they can all see each others names.

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,

My little sister came to me a few years ago. Her WH was having an affair. I sent her here and told her to LISTEN TO THE VETS.

She was terrified, but she followed the advice and did a nuclear exposure (including to the workplace and OW's FB friends/family). MelodyLane in particular was instrumental in assisting her in killing the affair dead. My sister's WH repeatedly told her he was DONE and they recovered their marriage.

You are extremely lucky that MelodyLane (and others) haven't abandoned the thread. You should be listening and following EVERY single thing she tells you to do if you want to save your marriage!

Bad news, OMW is in Ecquador and is not due back until Saturday. I was answered at the door by the OM Mother who informed me the OMW is not back until Saturday. Not knowing it was the OM's Mother, I said "I'm here to speak with Lucia about Ricardo having an affair with me wife". At that point she revealed the OMW is not back until Saturday. So do I hold off on the nuclear exposure or still move forward today with emails to co-workers? I could hold off until Monday. Not sure I have much of a choice at this point.