Hang in there!
I have been divorced for 2 years and I promise it does get better IF you follow Plan B!

Thanks Jedi

I'm constantly amazed at the strength of people on here.

Would you ever consider dating again? I don't think I could ever be with anyone else besides my H. I think if I divorce I will just live my life for my son. He doesn't need any more confusion in his life.

I keep wanting to remind my WH of things we've done in the past and special memories we have together. How do I stop wanting to do this?

Yes.
I am willing to date now....after 2 years since divorce.
When I first got divorced I thought I was ready but I really wasn't
I raise my 3 kids and thats enough for me at this point in life.
You need to focus on One Day At A Time

Yep one day at a time is all I can manage. Even that is a milestone for me.

It would not be productive.
At this point he is in the fog. The same fog you were in before.
He will not think rationally until his affair dies a natural death.
During this period the best way to preserve your emotional health is in Plan B.

After his affair dies, you may have opportunity to recover your marriage.

Thanks Jedi. I will try and get past this new information and stay positive.

My DS birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and want to make it fun for him.

I do remember when I was in the fog when I was in my own A. I am so glad I am not there anymore. I have learned so much and will never do that to anyone ever again.

Oh yeah the crying, gosh. I don't know how you go through something this painful without crying. For ages I was leaving piles of soggy tissues everywhere. For a while I WAS a pile of soggy tissues. Even my angelic mother got a bit fed up and wondered 'will this ever end?' But it does. Life is irrepressible.




Keep your head in today! Of course you don't fancy a run, you have a broken leg.

Yeah the crying bit is so hard. I don't wanna cry anymore but it isn't stopping.

Today I'm slowly tidying up some bits of the house and hiding away from the world. I'm at a point that I don't really want to socialise with anybody.

I encourage you to focus on being productive.
Do you exercise?

No I don't exercise. I can't get motivated.

Check out this video:

Usually I see the ladies on MB tell other ladies in Plan B to get their nails painted, manicured etc.
I dont know anything about that, but since there arent any MB women posting at this moment I will share what saved me:

Exercise: Push yourself, as Arthur did in this video. Transform yourself. Doctors are amazed at how exercise literally kills depression.

Prayer: Get right with God. Attend church, read the Bible and pray.

Diet: eat healthy, no processed foods. Healthy foods. If you need help just google it and you can learn how to cook any type of meal.

Sleep: Get sleep. Your brain releases chemicals while you sleep that are essential to life.

It is important that you LIVE.

Wow thanks for sharing the video Jedi. That was very inspirational. The song did make me cry though!

The list you gave me was great. The only one on there that I don't have a problem with is sleep. I seem to do that a lot. Maybe too much though.

The diet is a big problem for me. I'm not overweight or anything but finding it very hard to get motivated just to eat a decent meal.

How long after you started exercising did you start to feel a bit better?

I'm also finding myself pushing people away in real life who want to talk and help me. A lot of people don't know what I'm going through and it just hurts to much to speak about it.


A big problem I have is my mother. I haven't told her the latest episode because she is way too opinionated and gives advice which is not helpful. She continually hounds me and texts me with irrelevant happenings and says stupid things.

She thinks we are really close and best friends and tell each other everything but unfortunately I don't feel the same. People might think I'm bad for not feeling that about my mother but I just don't feel close to her.

I think it stems from the fact that she walked out on my Dad when I was 13 and had an affair. My mum and Dad got back together for a few years but she had another affair and now she is married to the OM (he was married at the time too). She is in an affairage. They have been married for 12 years now.

I hate the fact that their affairage has 'lasted' as I believed that affairages never work out? In saying this though, she doesn't trust him one bit, she thinks he is out having affairs, she thinks he has some 'hidden love child' somewhere and they bicker constantly. So they may be together I guess but they are not happy.

I'm so dissapointed in myself that I had an A to start with. I don't want to turn into the person my mother is. I want to rewrite history and not be that person anymore.

Dont talk to your mom. She will offer no support.

As for myself, when I discovered the affair my dad made me promise him that I would continue to exercise, no matter what. He told me it will keep me from depression.

Plan B will help you feel better. It is important to remove emotional triggers from your home. Box up all pics of husband, gifts etc.

Edit: as for yourself, you are no longer in an affair. You choose how to live your life. You can choose a good life or follow your mother in a bad life. But every day is a new day.
Thats why I feel church and the Bible are so important ; to keep us focused on choosing to live a good life.

I don't find myself looking at my H's photos or videos of our wedding day. I find if I look at them it hurts way too much that we are not together.

I have an emotional trigger that I look at every day and that is my DS. He looks more and more like his Dad every day. But I'm not boxing him up because I love him so much and am so grateful for him!

My friend once asked me to go to church. I might see if she still wants to go.

Dr Harley is a major proponent of attending church.
In a recent interview on Leadership, he stressed that his Christian faith plays a major role in his life.

Oh babe. You poor thing. A wayward mother makes everything so much harder. I have a few friends who have them and quite honestly I'd cut them loose. Both my parents know this, because even though I am fortunate in parents right now an affair can claim anyone.

I don't think you're bad for feeling raw around the person who ripped out your heart at age 13. Then again a few years later! Blimey she is a walking disaster.

I have two suggestions for putting her back in her box.

1) Mother, I haven't felt close to you since you broke my heart at ages 13 and 16 just so you could have affairs. Since I am recovering from one myself now, I simply can't handle you and won't be taking your calls until you end your affair -age and give me a sincere apology for what you did to me and my father for a cheap thrill.
2) Mother, since your own affair is still ongoing, your advice isn't welcome. We can talk about shoes, current affairs and the weather. Any attempts to discuss either my marriage or your affair will be met with a dial tone or a walk out. Shall we have some cake?

I sincerely plump for number one. She's not your mother right now and is no good to you until her affair is over.

Jedi's right about our negligence on feminine Plan B advice. The last few days have earned you a luxury pedicure for sure.