Great advice by Jedi.

I can honestly say staying healthy and active over the past few years is what has gotten me through everything. I highly recommend Paleo and get rid of the junk food. Cooking and making my way through a cookbook (I can recommend a paleo one if you want) is a hobby/passion of mine. It keeps me busy and knowing that its good for me and my kids just makes me happy

I don't ever feel like exercising before I actually do it. I just get everything set up and force myself to do it, knowing that about 10 mins into it I will feel great and keep going. I am really into Buti Yoga right now. It's amazing!

Volunteer work (that includes helping others here on MB), Plan A your son, surround yourself with people who make you laugh and smile. Go for a long walk outside each day with your kid/dogs. Fill your time with good things and don't allow yourself to dwell.

This is a good opportunity for you to teach your son about coping skills and how to deal with stress/sadness etc.

You have to MAKE a good life happen. There are bad days and moments for all of us. You push past it and keep going.

Hang in there!

Indie and I have had this disagreement before. Forget the mani/pedi. It's all about makeup. Makeup makes everything better!

RS,

Exercise is wonderful to throw all that frustration into a tough workout, it feels so good. Sometimes you may be working out so hard that you get mad at your situation and workout even more intense. It feels good. Yes it doesn't make your situation disappear or bring your WH back, but it helps YOU. It helps you sleep better and clear your head.

All you can do my friend, is control yourself.

How does that get you a foot rub from a nice lady in a white coat?

Plus, you have lovely smooth pretty feet which you can dress up a la Arabian princess. Who could feel sad with Arabian princess feet?

Indie it's hard with my mum. I feel I have enabled it for so long. It's been 12 years since they've married. Maybe it's because I never knew about MB back then and everyone was so accepting of it.

I honestly don't think her affairage will ever be over. After 12 years I just do not see that anymore.

I thought affairages never worked out? I guess it hasn't really 'worked' though. They would be far from happy and she doesn't trust him and she's very jealous and insecure.

Hi Susie

What is Paleo? Never heard of that before. I'm willing to try anything once!

I'm such a procastinator with exercise.

I try to be the best mum I can to my DS, but I know he feels my pain. So sad about that.

Thanks BrainHurts. I do want to exercise. I think I need to do something small first. There's a 10 minute workout I used to do. Might try that again.

You have to start somewhere.

And a 30 minute walk outside, every day.

This has known positive effects on depression. It's a one-two punch, because the exercise will release endorphins, AND the fresh air/light exposure are documented to lift the mood and outlook.

I know of one where it lasted 12 years: my friends father then went on to have four more adulterous marriages, then one faithful one. He's apologised to his family since and seems really remorseful.

Another I know of lasted 20 years before the OM discarded the perfect family act and beat her. Both cases involved everyone being very accepting of the affair. It seems to make them last longer but it doesn't make them work.

You need to do whatever is right for you right now. You can't afford to sweep up after others or make them feel better.

I have in the past listened to her problems and complaining about him. I think she senses though that I won't tolerate it anymore.

I do agree Catwhit that once I actually get out in the sunshine and have a walk with my son, it feels good. Just to get out there now. I worked this weekend which was a struggle.

I had a few moments of feeling stronger today. I pushed myself to work and then I went and bought some groceries which I hadn't done much since I've been back from holiday.

So now my kitchen is full of reasonably good food.

I know I'm still not up to cooking much so I had some pumpkin soup for dinner. It's a start and better then the take away I've been having.

I got my DS and I some fish and salmon to eat and vegetables. Something good and not much effort required. Baby steps for me.

For the last week I've been so sad and down and haven't listened to any music. By the way, how come when you're in a sad mood, all the stores seem to play sad love songs??

I always listen to music in my car and play it LOUD. This week my car has been silent. No music. Just me and my thoughts. Today for some reason I wanted to play music. Put my music on an upbeat song that I liked and just played it over and over. It felt good.

I'm sure my feelings are going to be all over the place but for now when I feel okay, I will just go with it.

I'm also finding that whenever I have small bursts of energy, that is when I am most productive and I take that time to do little things like clean the house. I take advantage of these times to do stuff as I know I may not feel like it later.

That's great, RS.

And give yourself the gift of enjoying the results of your productivity. Notice how nice your house looks and smells and feels, or how tidy the laundry looks all clean and folded. Or how sparkly the clean dishes look. Take pleasure in these small things. And know you are making a wonderful home for yourself and your DS.

I'm trying catwhit. I've often said to my DS that it doesn't matter if our house isn't big or fancy. I tell him that it's filled with love and fun. We do have fun together and have special times which I know WH does not do a lot with him.

Hmm hoping to get to that stage of the laundry being folded but that hasn't happened yet

Is it worth me holding out two years in Plan B? Is this affair still likely to blow up or should I just divorce?

I'm concerned I never exposed properly because everybody already knew about it and condones it.

So saying that, if an affair isn't exposed properly, does that mean it never ends, or it just takes longer to end?

I exposed to people who don't condone it but see it as a fact of life! Frustrating! Makes me think of the serenity prayer.

But if you ever WANT to say: "Hey mum it is totally horrendous for me to listen to your affair info" - don't feel bad!



Why don't you ask Dr H about the difference? I don't see anything different but he might.

Even when you do a full-blown exposure you get condoners. Then the fact the couple have really bad-back stabbing friends it is what helps them to self-destruct.

As for your food and cooking thingy, get a slow cooker! Just bung everything in in the morning and voila - your dinner at night.