Has Dr Harley ever recommended someone beside the BS execute exposure does anyone know? This is a question of a nursing mother's health.

I'm convinced this BW is too chicken, but wondering if her mother can not just speak to the parents but hit all exposure targets in her stead. Would it make her daughter appear weak or does it simply not matter as long as the shame kills the A?.

Yeah that's true. We all exposed even though our hands were shaking. It's a choice and she can make it right now.

They get very 'rabbit in the headlights' sometimes - all they hear is what the wayward says.

"When a WS refuses to leave the lover, there are no good options for the BS. At first, plan A is recommended because there is a slim hope (15%) that, with encouragement, a WS will make the decision to leave the lover. But 85% don't do that, even when plan A is implemented perfectly.

That leaves two other choices which are both bad. The first is to continue plan A indefinitely, trying to encourage the WS to leave the lover, and the second is to initiate plan B, which is to completely separate from the WS.

The problem with a continuation of plan A is that it usually leads to severe emotional symptoms, including years of post-traumatic stress disorder, even when the WS eventually returns. Many women that I've counseled actually have nervous breakdowns in their effort to draw their WS back to them. Instead of making the BS attractive to the WS, plan A actually makes these poor women so unattractive that it completely eliminates all hope of reconciliation. And 95% of all affairs eventually "die a natural death." If you do absolutely nothing, they usually end.

So I've recommended plan B rather early in the effort to separate the WS from his lover. In your case, you've noticed that you have experienced a detached feeling about it all, even your husband's filing for divorce. That's the way it's supposed to turn out. You are far more attractive while in emotional control of yourself than you would ever be begging and pleading for his return. You tried that tactic already, and it hasn't worked.

Is DD's father in the picture to speak to her?

What is WH's family like? Do you think they will support DD or is their waywardness in his family?

Hugs and prayers to you and DD.

His family seems to support DD and are also devastated by the news. I know his sister and brothers have talked with him. We haven't because DD kept us "chained" because she didn't want to jeopardize WH talking with Dr. H. That's been very frustrating for us because we certainly have considered WH as part of our family and we sure want to give him an ear-full about how he is treating DD and the kids.

I am sure she misunderstood Steve Harley about epxosure, becuase it should have been exposed a long time ago. Regardless of whether she understood it correctly, she needs to get moving and do it now.

Once he is out, she should send him a Plan B letter after she lines up an extremely strong willed, knowledgable intermediary who can handle her husband.

Plan B letters were drafted a month ago! and IM already lined up but enacting Plan B was delayed after counsel with Dr. H.

I am sure there is a grave misunderstanding. Dr Harley did not tell your daughter to delay Plan B. I will contact him right now.

WF, the biggest red flag is your daughters timid approach to all this. That just scares the hell out of me. Do you know taht women have nervous breakdowns and try to commit suicide from being in these situations? This is a despertate situation and your daughters mental and physical health is at risk.

Dr Harley only recommends Plan A for women for 3-4 weeks!!

The husband HAS to be ejected from this home immediately even if she has to get an emergency order or move out herself. She cannot continue in this way.

Can she move in wtih you until she gets an order to get him out of the house?

I know, Melody. I told her that but she was counseled otherwise.

When she came home she didn�t want to continue this way. She packed WH belongings and dropped them at a friend�s house. As coached by Dr. S. Harley, She told WH that for her own emotional well-being that she needed him to leave. She asked WH multiple times over a 3-4 week period to talk with Dr Harley. He has refused every time.

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I know, Melody. I told her that but she was counseled otherwise.

Wallflower, you can help your daughter with exposure by helping her write the letters and find the contacts. One thing you could do is call the parents of skankyhoe and have a discussion with them. Ask them to persuade their trashy daughter to leave your daughters marriage alone.