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You've got to do something fun. You've got to do something that will be your reward and your escape in life. You guys got through the recreational companionship lesson, but I don't think you've truly accomplished the goal yet: finding something you can do together that you will enjoy that will give your life the escape, the reward, the something to look forward to that you need. Yes, that's exactly what we need. We just have to figure out what it is Are you letting him know when you aren't having fun or when you are? sometimes but admit i could do a better job about that
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How about open houses at new housing developments (including condos)? You can often get decor ideas, or at the very least discuss what you like/dislike. And it is free.
Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
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How about open houses at new housing developments (including condos)? You can often get decor ideas, or at the very least discuss what you like/dislike. And it is free. wow, i've never thought about doing that before. that's a great idea!
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So this morning I had an ah-ha moment. We had signed up for Scotts to come treat our lawn but a guy from TruGreen came and quoted us a lower price. So we decided to go with them instead. I called the Scotts guy to cancel but apparently the message didn't get conveyed because somebody came this morning to treat our lawn from Scotts. I was getting dressed so I asked fTf if he would go out and talk to him but he refused. I was very angry (but was not disrespectful) because I expected fTf to be more assertive. This is a part of his personality that I don't like. It causes me to not respect him. I think this is a major problem for me.
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I was very angry (but was not disrespectful) because I expected fTf to be more assertive. How did you express your anger?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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I was very angry (but was not disrespectful) because I expected fTf to be more assertive. How did you express your anger? I said "Alright, I'll do it". Afterwards, i told him that it really bothered me.
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I was very angry (but was not disrespectful) because I expected fTf to be more assertive. How did you express your anger? I said "Alright, I'll do it". Afterwards, i told him that it really bothered me. How did you tell him that it bothered you? What was his response?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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So this morning I had an ah-ha moment. We had signed up for Scotts to come treat our lawn but a guy from TruGreen came and quoted us a lower price. So we decided to go with them instead. I called the Scotts guy to cancel but apparently the message didn't get conveyed because somebody came this morning to treat our lawn from Scotts. I was getting dressed so I asked fTf if he would go out and talk to him but he refused. I was very angry (but was not disrespectful) because I expected fTf to be more assertive. This is a part of his personality that I don't like. It causes me to not respect him. I think this is a major problem for me. Yea, well canceling with a lawn treatment company is sometimes like trying to cancel a gym membership. Certified mail, 30 days written notice etc...
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How about open houses at new housing developments (including condos)? You can often get decor ideas, or at the very least discuss what you like/dislike. And it is free. wow, i've never thought about doing that before. that's a great idea! This is one of our favorite weekend activities! It is great fun to look at new houses.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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So this morning I had an ah-ha moment. We had signed up for Scotts to come treat our lawn but a guy from TruGreen came and quoted us a lower price. So we decided to go with them instead. I called the Scotts guy to cancel but apparently the message didn't get conveyed because somebody came this morning to treat our lawn from Scotts. I was getting dressed so I asked fTf if he would go out and talk to him but he refused. I was very angry (but was not disrespectful) because I expected fTf to be more assertive. This is a part of his personality that I don't like. It causes me to not respect him. I think this is a major problem for me. That was a huge love buster, fc, and would fall under selfish demands. Just because you want him to do something does not mean he is inclined to do it. It is ok to ask, but he should not be punished when he says no.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I was very angry (but was not disrespectful) because I expected fTf to be more assertive. How did you express your anger? I said "Alright, I'll do it". Afterwards, i told him that it really bothered me. How did you tell him that it bothered you? What was his response? I just said that it really bothered me that he wouldn't go out there and talk to him. He said "I just got up"
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So this morning I had an ah-ha moment. We had signed up for Scotts to come treat our lawn but a guy from TruGreen came and quoted us a lower price. So we decided to go with them instead. I called the Scotts guy to cancel but apparently the message didn't get conveyed because somebody came this morning to treat our lawn from Scotts. I was getting dressed so I asked fTf if he would go out and talk to him but he refused. I was very angry (but was not disrespectful) because I expected fTf to be more assertive. This is a part of his personality that I don't like. It causes me to not respect him. I think this is a major problem for me. Yea, well canceling with a lawn treatment company is sometimes like trying to cancel a gym membership. Certified mail, 30 days written notice etc... haha true enough, and multiple follow up phone calls telling you what a happier person you will be if you keep your membership
Last edited by feuillecouleur; 08/15/14 03:13 PM.
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So this morning I had an ah-ha moment. We had signed up for Scotts to come treat our lawn but a guy from TruGreen came and quoted us a lower price. So we decided to go with them instead. I called the Scotts guy to cancel but apparently the message didn't get conveyed because somebody came this morning to treat our lawn from Scotts. I was getting dressed so I asked fTf if he would go out and talk to him but he refused. I was very angry (but was not disrespectful) because I expected fTf to be more assertive. This is a part of his personality that I don't like. It causes me to not respect him. I think this is a major problem for me. That was a huge love buster, fc, and would fall under selfish demands. Just because you want him to do something does not mean he is inclined to do it. It is ok to ask, but he should not be punished when he says no. I don't feel like I punished him. I just said that it bothered me
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I said "Alright, I'll do it". Afterwards, i told him that it really bothered me Ok, but you weren't went enthusiastic about doing it your self either, and it shows. A better response would have been "can we negotiate this?" Both of you had your reasons for not wanting to do it. With negotiation, you would have come up with a better solution that neither of you resented. You can make a request that he do it, but remember, if it is really a request then he can say "no." I'm glad you posted this. This is one of those very tricky situations that can be difficult to navigate.
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I said "Alright, I'll do it". Afterwards, i told him that it really bothered me Ok, but you weren't went enthusiastic about doing it your self either, and it shows. A better response would have been "can we negotiate this?" Both of you had your reasons for not wanting to do it. With negotiation, you would have come up with a better solution that neither of you resented. You can make a request that he do it, but remember, if it is really a request then he can say "no." I'm glad you posted this. This is one of those very tricky situations that can be difficult to navigate. Yes, I should have said "it would really mean a lot to me if you would take care of this".
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And what if he still said "No"? What would your response be then?
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So the doctor prescribed Zoloft 1 25mg tablet per day for the first week then 2 25mg tablets per day after that. However, insurance would only cover 1 tablet per day so I still don't have any meds. The doctor has to call the insurance company and hash it out with them I guess! Should hear back in a couple of days
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Have the dr. prescribe 50 mg pills, and cut them in half first week. Pretty standard.
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As long as you have a doc who follows through on his clinical rationalizations, it should end up being covered.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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