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I'm really proud of you too. I also wanted to add that you WILL get a chance to implement your growing MB knowledge - I'm not married either and implement it every day. It can be applied to so many things.

Why look how well you dealt with the recent disruption on your thread. Living up to your name in full!


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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I'd never thought of it like that - applying MB in other situations too. I think I implemented when I went out with my girlfriends in keeping away from men and not letting my friends lead me astray.

As for the recent disruption on my thread I think that poster must be friends with divinelyfavored grin


Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW

Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Originally Posted By: rocksolid
Thanks Jedi I appreciate the support.

I must say I've never read The Wizard of Oz. I have watched the movie. I bet the book would be obviously better?



The book is great.
We are reading Dorothy and the Wizard In Oz, which is a sequel to the Wizard of Oz.

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Could the poster posting on your thread be the OW? If you look at her posts, first asking for other posters to link her to 'remorseful cheating wives' (perhaps looking for this one) and then to ask how revenge affairs turn out (and that is how I would categorize your H's affair so perhaps asking how her own A would turn out). And not being willing to post her own story.

I fear this thread is not safe.

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Just in case it is...OW, I have a news flash for you. A hollow victory is headed your way in 3, 2..........right about now.

Rock, glad to hear you took the advice I hadn't even given yet about getting service from your attorney. Most people don't get to control when and how they get served D papers, but you do! Hooray!!

A's and affairages are either doomed completely or miserable, so the faster you can get out of the way, the better.

smile


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Originally Posted By: Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted By: rocksolid
Thanks Jedi I appreciate the support.

I must say I've never read The Wizard of Oz. I have watched the movie. I bet the book would be obviously better?



The book is great.
We are reading Dorothy and the Wizard In Oz, which is a sequel to the Wizard of Oz.


Ah I didn't realise there was a sequel called the Wizard In Oz. I will have to check that out it sounds exciting.


Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW

Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Originally Posted By: unwritten
Could the poster posting on your thread be the OW? If you look at her posts, first asking for other posters to link her to 'remorseful cheating wives' (perhaps looking for this one) and then to ask how revenge affairs turn out (and that is how I would categorize your H's affair so perhaps asking how her own A would turn out). And not being willing to post her own story.

I fear this thread is not safe.


Hi unwritten, I hadn't thought of that. I don't think it is OW though. I've spoken to the moderators and can quite safely assume it isn't her. Thank you for your concern smile


Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW

Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Originally Posted By: Neak
Just in case it is...OW, I have a news flash for you. A hollow victory is headed your way in 3, 2..........right about now.

Rock, glad to hear you took the advice I hadn't even given yet about getting service from your attorney. Most people don't get to control when and how they get served D papers, but you do! Hooray!!

A's and affairages are either doomed completely or miserable, so the faster you can get out of the way, the better.

smile


Hi Neak long time no see smile

Yes I do need to get out of the way I agree. I'm thinking they will be doomed eventually. Yeah right about now would be good for OW to have a hollow victory!

Back to concentrating on myself.


Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW

Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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So this is my latest dilemma regarding the divorce.

I just went and picked up the divorce papers from my lawyer as she was holding onto them.

I see that when WH has to go to court he needs to bring with him a signed 'acknowledgment of service' with him to prove that I received the papers.

This was supposed to be attached to the divorce papers by WH. So lo and behold I pick up the papers and realise that WH hasn't attached this form. That's what you get when you print forms from the internet and don't do it properly!

So now I either have to ask WH to print one off the internet for me to sign. If I don't tell him about it he will turn up to court and it will get adjourned.

So going by Dr Harley and everyone here I should get this over with sooner rather than later.

But I feel like I shouldn't have to help WH out with this information. It's not my fault he didn't include the form for me to sign. But if I don't help him out then he turns up to court and it gets adjourned for another 6 - 8 weeks.

Should I get IM to send him an email and request the form? Do I tell him that without the form it will get adjourned? Or do not offer that information, just ask for the form and that's it?

Why should I have to help him out when it's never what I wanted?


Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW

Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Can't you just have your lawyer give you one to sign then she can send it over to WHs lawyer?

I don't see it as 'helping him' now that it's been identified as your goal. Having it drag out in court is painful to you and keeps you in limbo so just work whatever steps you need to to make things better for you.

There is no 'helping him' - only he can do that!


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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My WH doesn't have a lawyer. The lawyer said he has to print one off the family court website.

So I guess I'll just tell IM to tell him to do it.


Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW

Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Remember it is for YOU. Everything you do in Plan B is for you. No matter when the day falls when you need to make a decision or what prompts it - the most important thing is you are in the best possible emotional shape on that day and that your life looks great.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted By: rocksolid
So this is my latest dilemma regarding the divorce.

I just went and picked up the divorce papers from my lawyer as she was holding onto them.

I see that when WH has to go to court he needs to bring with him a signed 'acknowledgment of service' with him to prove that I received the papers.

This was supposed to be attached to the divorce papers by WH. So lo and behold I pick up the papers and realise that WH hasn't attached this form. That's what you get when you print forms from the internet and don't do it properly!

So now I either have to ask WH to print one off the internet for me to sign. If I don't tell him about it he will turn up to court and it will get adjourned.

So going by Dr Harley and everyone here I should get this over with sooner rather than later.

But I feel like I shouldn't have to help WH out with this information. It's not my fault he didn't include the form for me to sign. But if I don't help him out then he turns up to court and it gets adjourned for another 6 - 8 weeks.

Should I get IM to send him an email and request the form? Do I tell him that without the form it will get adjourned? Or do not offer that information, just ask for the form and that's it?

Why should I have to help him out when it's never what I wanted?



I would just ignore the situation and move forward.
Let him figure it out.

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Originally Posted By: indiegirl
Remember it is for YOU. Everything you do in Plan B is for you. No matter when the day falls when you need to make a decision or what prompts it - the most important thing is you are in the best possible emotional shape on that day and that your life looks great.


Yes I do need to do everything for myself now. I want so much to heal and not feel this pain anymore.

I listened to Dr Harley again and do you really think he meant that I would have to make a decision in a years time? From what I took from it he just meant 'oh wait another year and see what happens'. I don't think he could definately say that I would have to make a decision then. I know he said that now that WH had bought the house makes things extremely difficult.

Maybe I'm thinking about this too much. I actually felt like I learned more from the previous callers situation.


Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW

Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Originally Posted By: Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted By: rocksolid
So this is my latest dilemma regarding the divorce.

I just went and picked up the divorce papers from my lawyer as she was holding onto them.

I see that when WH has to go to court he needs to bring with him a signed 'acknowledgment of service' with him to prove that I received the papers.

This was supposed to be attached to the divorce papers by WH. So lo and behold I pick up the papers and realise that WH hasn't attached this form. That's what you get when you print forms from the internet and don't do it properly!

So now I either have to ask WH to print one off the internet for me to sign. If I don't tell him about it he will turn up to court and it will get adjourned.

So going by Dr Harley and everyone here I should get this over with sooner rather than later.

But I feel like I shouldn't have to help WH out with this information. It's not my fault he didn't include the form for me to sign. But if I don't help him out then he turns up to court and it gets adjourned for another 6 - 8 weeks.

Should I get IM to send him an email and request the form? Do I tell him that without the form it will get adjourned? Or do not offer that information, just ask for the form and that's it?

Why should I have to help him out when it's never what I wanted?



I would just ignore the situation and move forward.
Let him figure it out.



I was actually thinking along these lines Jedi. Just letting him figure it all out for himself. He wanted the divorce so he can deal with it.


Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW

Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Whatever works best for YOU is what I vote for. Either helping or not helping is a legit choice under these circumstances.

My personal opinion is that if you hold off making any final decisions of your own for a year, that in a year you'll know what you should do. Not that you wait a year and then MUST make a choice of some type, but rather after you've been dark that long you'll know whether you're better off deciding then, or deciding later.

It's been a whirlwind of music around here the last couple of weeks. Since the 31st of July, DD15 won a music talent search at the local and state levels. It's nice to have a little time to breathe again, since it's several months till the next one.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Wow Neak great news on your daughter winning the talent search. Did she play an instrument or sing? I remember your Mum saying what a talented family you all are!

I like the idea of not making any decisions of my own for a year. And even then I may not be ready to make any. I really don't think I am in any state of mind to make any decisions right now anyway. I would rather be in a clear frame of mind. Who knows how I will be feeling in a year right?


Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW

Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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Yep, so re-evaluate in a year. Time is your friend.

Thanks for the congrats. She played and sang both. smile


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Hi Neak

I don't know if I can re-evaluate in a year. It seems so long away. The divorce date is looming and I'm just feeling really down about everything.

Somedays I think I just want to Plan FU. I'm really over it all to be honest. I'm sick of the way he has hurt me for so long.


Me: FWW/BW - 38 yrs
XH: FBH/WH - 41 yrs
Plan B
DS: 9yrs old (with H)
DD: 20yrs old
Divorced Dec 2014
WXH still living with POSOW

Actions mean EVERYTHING.
Words mean NOTHING.
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hug Whatever is best for YOU, that's what you do.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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