I would be polite during the child exchanges, when you see her in person.

I have been for quite a while.

Don't do it yet - you need to make love bank deposits first.

Add your girls to your insurance, ask your ex if she needs to buy winter clothes for the girls and go do it together and you pay for that...

Think what family activity you can do all together - be creative and find something interesting, fun and probably educational for the kids - couple of options. Ask your ex first, if she would be willing to join you and the girls...

The point is to spend some time together while keep meeting her needs unmet before. Watch her reaction and you will know when the time is right to bring the reconciliation topic.

I think the family events will be unlikely, until she loses the POSOM. The insurance can't hurt. The clothes idea isn't bad. I did that before with school clothes.

I had the girls all weekend. My birthday was Sunday, and last year my ex wife had my girls make me a birthday card from them. This year, nothing. Maybe it was because I didn't have them make her one on her birthday (I was planing on it, but my older daughter got sick and we couldn't do it, I think I ended up having to take her to the doctor). She was sick this weekend, too - stayed home all day Sunday so she could stay quiet while she rode out her fever.

Anyway, when I dropped them off last night it as very hard for me. I cried a little because last week was very long and I missed them the whole time. I expect this week will be the same. My xW gave me an interesting look when I was in my truck about to leave. She looked me in the eye and it wasn't a resentful look. Not sure what it was. It felt like guilt or something. She knew it was my birthday.

Something interesting happened today, though. My xW texted me a picture of my daughter's worksheet thing she filled out after having listened to her teacher read a book. She had to draw a picture and it was really cute. I asked how she was doing, I also voiced my concern over the virus that is paralyzing kids up in Colorado but she didn't really respond to that. So I am not sure if it means anything that she sent me that pic and made some comments. She hasn't done that in a long time. Not going to read into it but I thought it was a little out of character for her.

No expectations... Just be pleasant and never miss a chance to make a LB deposit.

Who care what she does, you can only worry about what you do.

I have no expectations any more. Except that I expect she will marry the POSOM.

That's what you said recently - you challenged if your ex is happy overall.. Why do you expect she would marry POSOM is she is unhappy with him?

Anyway, before they get married (if ever), you should do your best and fill her LB with deposits on daily basis. Keep praying and trying to meet her needs - be proactive and creative how to do that if you still want to win your XW back.

I don't currently have the opportunity to make daily LB deposits as things are now. I'd have to create opportunity, I guess, and I'm not sure how. I can say that our texts have been very civil on both sides for quite a while. That's something.

Take a risk and make an opportunity. Those grand gestures are what is going to make an impression. She has a view of you as uncaring of her and her needs. She a view of you as unable to provide. You can now provide, now you have to prove you care and you have to overcome that view she has of you in her mind. That will not happen without you proactively trying to change it.

Opportunity: she asked me to pick our daughter up from school.

So I mentioned that the xW texted me this afternoon asking me if I could pick our daughter up from school, which of course I did. I took her out to dinner and we had a nice time doing puzzles. The xW told me she was busy doing something, but it dawned on me later that the POSOM has the day off, as he is a government clerk (has been since high school, captain ambition, this guy). So I wonder what she was "busy" with all day that she couldn't pick her own daughter up from school.

My point here is that just about every time she asks me to do her a favor like this, and every time I say yes, exactly what kind of LB deposits am I making when the only reason she asks is to spend more time with the POSOM?? Seriously.

When I met her to drop off our daughter, she did not speak one word to me. No "thanks", nothing. She seemed annoyed as usual.

Sir,
Of course she was with OM.
You have to remember she is selfish and most desires from her, like you watching the kids, is rooted in selfishness.

But the good thing is that you got to spend more time with your daughter. So just take it for that and ignore the rest.

Oh no Jedi, I'm the selfish one. She's told me countless times.

/sarcasm

There you go again. If you can't let it go, then let it go.

I can let it go. I was being sarcastic.

There is not a hint of reconciliation on her mind at all. This morning I asked for her SSN for a death benefits form (who else would I designate?).

Her reply: "What for?"

Yep. "They" are going to her sister's in Phoenix in 2 weeks. Tellin ya, it ain't gonna happen. I think I need to lawyer up and get custody adjusted and get my stuff out of the house.

So I'm seeing you approach your usual pattern of going off the deep end on another one of your tirades. It's almost too predictable at this point.

If you cant control your 'thoughts' about what she's doing and your 'wondering' about why she is doing what. Then this pattern will continue over and over. This is exactly why Dr. Harley says you must Plan B to protect yourself (but we all know you feel its impossible to Plan B).

Anything you've done to be proactive? You do understand she is in a relationship right? She's not just going to decide to up and leave her lover for you out of the blue...

Umm... That's exactly what she did to me, and we were married with two babies. Are you sure she wouldn't grow a conscience, especially if I made myself an enticing alternative to Mr Cheaty McDrunkybritches? I find it interesting how hopeless you all characterize my situation, yet she was able to be seduced by a virtual stranger.