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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
And I also emphatically agree with BR about filing for divorce and getting sole custody of your son, naming a legal guardian. Our friend and MB board member, Justpeachy, died suddenly and unexpectedly at age 42 last year. Her son went to her criminal ex-ws! She would have been outraged!

JustPeachy died?? I wasn't around when she was here, but I did read some of her story. Wow...this is so sad, much like Chrisner.

Beautiful woman, inside and out. I hope her son is okay.


Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Have you seen this?

Dr. Harley talked about a study on the radio show about children raised in single father home's compared to single mother's.

Here it is: MATERIAL REFERENCED: Fatherless America by David Blankenhorn

Dr. Harley's Radio Clip on Fatherless America Study at 7:20 Mark

I just got done listening to this twice BH, but didn't hear anything about the study you referred to. It was good listening though, nonetheless. The man was in the military, straightened up his life, is a member of AA and speaks with his Sponsor daily.

I guess that he has custody of his children currently and he was recommended to file for Divorce to ensure the WW doesn't try to pretend to want to come home just for a new status quo in a manipulative means to reestablish her rights to child custody.

Thanks for trying.

LTL

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Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Have you seen this?

Dr. Harley talked about a study on the radio show about children raised in single father home's compared to single mother's.

Here it is: MATERIAL REFERENCED: Fatherless America by David Blankenhorn

Dr. Harley's Radio Clip on Fatherless America Study at 7:20 Mark

I just got done listening to this twice BH, but didn't hear anything about the study you referred to. It was good listening though, nonetheless. The man was in the military, straightened up his life, is a member of AA and speaks with his Sponsor daily.

I guess that he has custody of his children currently and he was recommended to file for Divorce to ensure the WW doesn't try to pretend to want to come home just for a new status quo in a manipulative means to reestablish her rights to child custody.

Thanks for trying.

LTL
Strange. You didn't hear that Dr. Harley stated that children raised by fathers statisticly turn out just as well as children raised by both parents?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
Originally Posted by black_raven
Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
I'm asking for advice though. Should I respond to her sort of nice text?

I wouldn't

That's what I had figured, but it's better to get unbiased opinions to validate it.

It hasn't made me dwell on any thoughts about What If etc..., so I am finally in a much better place emotionally than I was since 2009 through 2013.

LTL

If you are in Plan A you should HOWEVER I think you should email Dr. Harley for direction. I think he will encourage you to divorce her

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Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
Ha-Ha, his favorite TV Show in the morning before school now is, Leave It To Beaver. Don't laugh. It demonstrates fantastic Family morals and Right and Wrong with consequences.

LTL

I smiled when I read this because I dont have cable tv. I have a digital antenna that hardly works.
But I have the entire series of the Andy Griffith show and shows like Bonanza and the Lone Ranger on DVD and the kids love them.
That's the only TV show they watch!

You are right. they do teach good values.
My son is your sons age (12)

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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Have you seen this?

Dr. Harley talked about a study on the radio show about children raised in single father home's compared to single mother's.

Here it is: MATERIAL REFERENCED: Fatherless America by David Blankenhorn

Dr. Harley's Radio Clip on Fatherless America Study at 7:20 Mark

Brainhurts,

He also discussed this in my call which was in winter 2012

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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Have you seen this?

Dr. Harley talked about a study on the radio show about children raised in single father home's compared to single mother's.

Here it is: MATERIAL REFERENCED: Fatherless America by David Blankenhorn

Dr. Harley's Radio Clip on Fatherless America Study at 7:20 Mark

Brainhurts,

He also discussed this in my call which was in winter 2012
Jan-Feb 2012 or Nov-Dec 2012?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Have you seen this?

Dr. Harley talked about a study on the radio show about children raised in single father home's compared to single mother's.

Here it is: MATERIAL REFERENCED: Fatherless America by David Blankenhorn

Dr. Harley's Radio Clip on Fatherless America Study at 7:20 Mark

I just got done listening to this twice BH, but didn't hear anything about the study you referred to. It was good listening though, nonetheless. The man was in the military, straightened up his life, is a member of AA and speaks with his Sponsor daily.

I guess that he has custody of his children currently and he was recommended to file for Divorce to ensure the WW doesn't try to pretend to want to come home just for a new status quo in a manipulative means to reestablish her rights to child custody.

Thanks for trying.

LTL
Strange. You didn't hear that Dr. Harley stated that children raised by fathers statisticly turn out just as well as children raised by both parents?

I'll listen again today. Maybe I got distracted while listening. It was a short clip.

LTL

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Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Have you seen this?

Dr. Harley talked about a study on the radio show about children raised in single father home's compared to single mother's.

Here it is: MATERIAL REFERENCED: Fatherless America by David Blankenhorn

Dr. Harley's Radio Clip on Fatherless America Study at 7:20 Mark

I just got done listening to this twice BH, but didn't hear anything about the study you referred to. It was good listening though, nonetheless. The man was in the military, straightened up his life, is a member of AA and speaks with his Sponsor daily.

I guess that he has custody of his children currently and he was recommended to file for Divorce to ensure the WW doesn't try to pretend to want to come home just for a new status quo in a manipulative means to reestablish her rights to child custody.

Thanks for trying.

LTL
Strange. You didn't hear that Dr. Harley stated that children raised by fathers statisticly turn out just as well as children raised by both parents?

I'll listen again today. Maybe I got distracted while listening. It was a short clip.

LTL

Okay BH, I listened to it 2 more times and obviously I wasn't attentive enough the 1st 2 times I listened, so I did hear the reference to the report stated each of these times.

It doesn't surprise me though. A Father who strives hard to be a main guiding component in their children's development and nurturing is a more likely candidate to have their children turn out physically, mentally and emotionally better off than any single parent without that nurturing demeanor or caught short due to unexpected life turmoil.

Thank you once again.

LTL

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These are the texts I have received since 9-27-2014, which I have not replied to after zero contact since last February.

I am wondering if I should finally reply to the one about insurance.

.

SA: 9-27-2014
Need to talk to u about our insurance.
4:46 pm

It's important so I hope you can find time to respond.
6:10 pm

MO:� 10-6-2014
I need to talk to u.
4:30 pm

MO:� 11-3-2014
I received email from S11 school regarding limo lunch he won for recent fundraiser. They need permission slip so he doesn't miss this. From PTO President.
9:32 am

MO:� 11-3-2014
I will have new insurance cards for you both soon too.
9:34 am

SU:� 11-9-2014
I'm glad S-11 had fun on limo lunch and school sing "whisper" was awesome.
6:57 pm
(She obviously must have looked at my FB page where I post cool updated photos or videos for my family and friends to see. I never Blocked her, because I thought she could see what she was missing. Son was recently in the School Fall Choir Concert and the School Orchestra Concert playing his Violin and I posted photos and videos of both performances.)

.
Possible Reply:

We have not received any insurance cards as of yet.

It would have helped to know that you had canceled the family insurance�coverage before the doctors had built up around $16,800 in charges for services that are now in collection that I thought were covered.

Neither the Doctors or me were aware that insurace coverage was not continued. You had previously informed me last year that you would keep the family insurance coverage going, because that was the least you could do.

Is there new insurance and if so, when did/does it start?

If there is, where do I go or who do I contact to get the insurance cards?



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Well, I finaly am scheduled for dual knee implant replacement surgery, which is scheduled for July 17th.

What a relief!!!

I currently can barely walk 5-10 feet without sitting down to alleviate the severe pain of bone grinding into and wearing away the other bones from my femur to my tibia.

LTL

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Good for you! That sounds immensely painful. Were you a runner?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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No, except for in High School.

It's from 37 years of being a contractor and 1st injuring my right knee in 1978 from stepping on job ste debris the wrong way and then a 40 foot fall in 1985 from a ladder.

Too many ladders being climbed, along with genetics compounding the potential and It all took it's toll.

LTL

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Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
No, except for in High School.

It's from 37 years of being a contractor and 1st injuring my right knee in 1978 from stepping on job ste debris the wrong way and then a 40 foot fall in 1985 from a ladder.

Too many ladders being climbed, along with genetics compounding the potential and It all took it's toll.

LTL


Best of luck to you, dodgy knees run in my family too :-(


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
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I guess my WW read my FB Update Post about my knee surgery.

After not visiting or calling my Son for over 1,000 days now, she sent me this e-mail this morning.

I don't trust her, plus the care taking plans have already been discussed with Family and arranged. He is thrilled to be spending time with his Cousins.

LTL


Dear (My Name),

I am happy to see you will finally be getting the much needed surgery on your knees. I am Wishing you an smooth surgery and quick recovery. I would like to help with S-12. My last day of summer school is July 15, though I am working a second job to, that schedule can be flexible if I'm needed to help with my son. Please allow my the opportunity to show you I am not the monster I was.

Good luck to you (My Name)


Last edited by LearnedTooLate; 06/26/15 02:42 PM.
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Has she made any contact to your DS12?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Has she made any contact to your DS12?

No she has not. Once a year near his birthday, she sends a message about how much she misses him and how much she loves him, but she knows where his activities are and does not show up at all. All that usually along with describing how much she has changed. But, what has changed? Nothing.

LTL

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Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Has she made any contact to your DS12?

No she has not. Once a year near his birthday, she sends a message about how much she misses him and how much she loves him, but she knows where his activities are and does not show up at all. All that usually along with describing how much she has changed. But, what has changed? Nothing.

LTL
This breaks my heart every time you tell us. I can't commend you enough LTL, for being a great father to your awesome DS12.

I just don't understand how a mother would continue to do this to her son.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Well, here comes the Seasonal letter of crocodile faux remorse from my Wayward Wife.

I just wanted to share to show how pathetic a Waywards life can go, even though her FaceBook messages are all unicorns and rainbows and lovey dovey.

It's ALL a Facade.


Rehash: Together at D-Day September 2009 for 8 years and married for 5+ years and have, as of that time, our 4 1/2 year old Son together. I changed my self employed work schedule when Our Son started pre-school and I have taken him to school every day until 6th grade when he advanced to Middle School and takes the school bus.

After her being in Alcoholics Anonymous and sober for about 10 years, she relapsed at some point here. She started going out with old high school girlfriend's supposedly and I wasn't aware she relapsed. I attributed her going out as a way for her to relieve her depression about the loss of her Mom.


1) 2 days after 2008 Thanksgiving, her Mom goes into hospital. She never was released and unexpectedly passed away on February 7, 2009, One week after being sent home for one day to see how well she could do on her own, because she seemed to be recovering.

2) 1st Affair started December, 2008 with Reunion Dot Com message from her to old boyfriend from 17 years prior advising him about the hospitalization of her Mother. All throughout the Winter, Spring and Summer of 2009, she says and I believed that she was severely depressed about the unexpected loss of her Mom and that was the reason for her being so distanced. I discovered she had been texting him 5,000 to 7,000 texts per month and had 20-40 hours per month of phone calls with him.


3) I accidentally discover love notes that revealed her affair to me on September 27, 2009. Without knowing Marriage Builders, I relentlessly pursue Plan A and never gave up, even After she moved out in February, 2012.

4) 2nd Affair is when She has a Same Sex one night stand with her long term BFF in Fall of 2009, right around Halloween. I didn't discover this until after she eventually moved out in February of 2012. She moved into the same apartment building that a younger brother and a younger sister each had an apartment at.

5) She begins 3rd Affair with that Very Same BFF boyfriend. Her BFF And that girls Boyfriend were both lifelong friends with my Wayward Wife.

6) She moves out in February 2012 with no advance notice. Nothing has changed during the past 3+ years. She thankfully did Not take our Son with her when she left.

7) Mostly No Contact. She rarely has Any visits with our Son. Once or twice a year I get a similar letter from Her as this.

8) She had Affair Partner #4 move in with her in Summer/Fall of 2012 and they are still living together, but moved someplace else and I have never been notified of where.

Now comes this letter as of last Friday morning:

.


Dear LTL
I honestly can't even find words to say. Words can not undo or even ease the damage I've caused to you, S-12 and others. All I can do now is hope that my finally getting on my feet will gradually rebuild trust in those I've hurt. I have trouble even comprehending how I could just be gone from S-12's life so much. It deeply sickens me. Instead of running into the pit if pity, guilt, blame, depression, etc, I need to face the realities of what I have caused. I'm deeply sorry though I don't remotely expect you to accept that but I hope one day you will.
I need to work on rebuilding a relationship with S-12. I need for your to let me though. Please work with me on this. I am not the same as I was for past several years. I've woken to some very harsh realities of my past and how I dealt with things and I really with I could go back and slap myself 7 years ago when I started to lose it. Never could I have imagined I'd get so lost. I've struggled the past year repairing me and have a long way to go of course, recovering never ends but I'm in a better place now. Please work with me in trying to help fix the void I caused for S-12.

Wifes Name

END OF LETTER:

No court order, as I knew Any Judge would have compelled some variation of shared custody and she is still in Alcohol relapse drinking mode and I know Judges don't care, as long as she would not be drunk with him. No child support either though.

I do not respond to these once or twice a year letters.

Should I ever finally respond?

She hasn't really changed yet and my 12 3/4 year old Son does not Ever remember her doing Anything with us and wondered 6 months ago if he should feel bad because he doesn't remember what her voice sounds like.

She has Never since she abandoned him, sent over so much as a Birthday Card or Merry Christmas Card, let alone any gifts ever.

I don't think I should respond since my Son is not interested in seeing her, but I wanted an outside opinion.

And, No. I am not going to take her to court for Legal Custody. She is too much of a coward to attempt to legally kidnap my Son.

What are your opinions?

LTL

Last edited by LearnedTooLate; 11/23/15 11:20 AM.
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She needs to show action before you do anything. So far, she has sent a letter, expecting you to figure out her problems. If she wants to be part of her son's life, she needs to come up with a plan, starting with sobriety.

If she persists, then you could respond.

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