Have you been to your doctor for some ADs to help you get through this?

Have you got rid of all things that remind you of OM, such as gifts, pictures, etc?

What has your BH said he needs from you?

Yikes, if that is your attitude around your BH (and you've already told us he is reading this) then I wouldn't be surprised if he was frustrated.

You have gotten many MANY helpful posts - MANY MORE than I got when I first arrived here!

Being humble will go a LONG way. Good luck!

WOW!!!

How does your Husband feel when you throw such a big Pity Party for yourself?

My Wayward Wife said the exact same things to me.

How the heck does the guy who is trying to rebuild his marriage feel and how does he even respond to that?

I know in my case, all I wanted was for my Wife to realize how much I truly cared for and loved her, but she was too busy acting like a self absorbed martyr that nothing I did to try to breach the gap SHE created was ever even close to good enough or welcomed.

At least you supposedly have No Contact any longer with your playmate. But look at the destruction that was caused to two innocent families.

It's NOT all about you. Your Betrayed Husband doesn't truthfully know if things will get better or not, but he is still with you, trying, no matter how much pain you caused him.

LTL

You took what she said out of context. Her sentence to you about only telling us whether you have been tested vs telling us the result (which you left out of the quote) was in response to your comment about HIPPA laws (??).

We take STD's very seriously around here and her question to you was only out of concern for your health and your BH's. We have had posters who have died from STD's.

I am sorry that you are feeling so defensive but this was not a very nice way to speak to BrainHurts, somebody who is VOLUNTEERING their free time to help you in this mess that YOU created in your marriage.

Can you kindly tell me what we have not addressed, that you were seeking help with?

I thought you came here for help with blocking contact with OM and his wife. That is the title of your thread, after all. We told you how to do that. I do not see what other help you have asked for, but perhaps I've missed it. Could you specify whatever it is we have missed?

WOW!!!

How does your Husband feel when you throw such a big Pity Party for yourself? Have you read this post from the beginning?

She started by asking how to deal with the constant attack we have been receiving. In return she received no answer, but was bombarded by with prying questions and accusations.

My Wayward Wife said the exact same things to me.

How the heck does the guy who is trying to rebuild his marriage feel and how does he even respond to that? she doesn't do this to me, only the people who are here to attack aka "help" her. Of course she's defensive to this.

I know in my case, all I wanted was for my Wife to realize how much I truly cared for and loved her, but she was too busy acting like a self absorbed martyr that nothing I did to try to breach the gap SHE created was ever even close to good enough or welcomed.

At least you supposedly have No Contact any longer with your playmate. But look at the destruction that was caused to two innocent families. Yet this site advocates creating more destruction by outing everyone involved and spreading the hurt.

It's NOT all about you. Your Betrayed Husband doesn't truthfully know if things will get better or not, but he is still with you, trying, no matter how much pain you caused him. I appreciate this comment, but none of us truly know until we walk down the path, do we, and find out where it leads.

Mr Lsbs, welcome to Marriage Builders. Would you mind reposting with only your comments or with your comments under the post you are responding to? I can't decipher which are your comments and which belong to the original post. If you will just click the "quote" button at the bottom of the post to which you want to respond and then type your comments under the "[/quote]" then we can read your post.

Thank you so very much.

You took what she said out of context. Her sentence to you about only telling us whether you have been tested vs telling us the result (which you left out of the quote) was in response to your comment about HIPPA laws (??). Look up HIPAA

The way it was stated. It could be said in a nicer tone. Example-we care about your safety. Not-You have to tell us!

We take STD's very seriously around here and her question to you was only out of concern for your health and your BH's. We have had posters who have died from STD's. Again, this could be stated better.

I am sorry that you are feeling so defensive but this was not a very nice way to speak to BrainHurts, somebody who is VOLUNTEERING their free time to help you in this mess that YOU created in your marriage.

Yes, I am sorry her comments were venomous at best to my WS. If you use an attacking tone, you should expect one in return. Do you save all your Love Busters to attack WS on this site?

Yikes, if that is your attitude around your BH (and you've already told us he is reading this) then I wouldn't be surprised if he was frustrated.

She does not talk to ME in this manner, only people who continually attack her here. She has not talked to anyone about this openly, this was her idea not mine.

You have gotten many MANY helpful posts - MANY MORE than I got when I first arrived here!

Being humble will go a LONG way. Good luck!

She was hoping other WS would provide more insight on recovery process.

neither one of us is taking drugs.

we gotten rid of the mementos, and sent the gifts back to them (OM and OM BS)

I have told her that I need honesty, openness, and her love. I am trying not to make too many demands with her because she needs to decide if she wants to be with me and I can't force her to do that.

Sir, your wife is not a child who needs to be protected from direct questions. She was not attacked. She was asked many, many questions because she is so vague that her posts are incomprehensible.

Her initial question most certainly WAS answered: many, many times. The answer is to change her contact information and stay out of other people's marriages. Hopefully she has learned her lesson from this experience.

She was not attacked and no one was venomous to her. Let's keep in mind here that she is not a victim. It is a good experience for her to see how objective observers react to her views. I get the feeling she has been very PROTECTED from reality by you. That is a mistake that does not help her in the least.

Just know that we are on your side. As such, we are not here to coddle your wife. I have made many helpful posts to her and have not so much as received a thank you. Telling other posters how to post is very disrespectful.

The advice given here is the same, whether it comes from a wayward or a betrayed spouse. The advice given here all comes from Dr Bill Harley, who is neither. The program of recovery is the same.

I am assuming the LAST sentence is yours? I can hardly decipher. Can you please use the quote feature and make your post UNDER the other persons post which is signified by "[/quote]"?

She does not talk to ME in this manner, only people who continually attack her here. She has not talked to anyone about this openly, this was her idea not mine.








She was hoping other WS would provide more insight on recovery process.

Again, thank you for the non answer

She wants to talk with WS, not get attacked by all the BS here! Is it any wonder why there are so few WS posting here?

Or is this one joint Love Buster pity party for BS

As I suspected, you take one side here

You Ma'am, have no idea what she has been through. And do not seem to be interested either.

You do realize EVERYONE is a victim in all of this? Not just the BS. There are REASONS affairs happen and ALL are at Fault to some degree.

If you don't keep the love bank full, someone else does. Isn't this the point of this

Thank you for being so rude when I took my valuable time to respond to your post.

Again, she doesn't need to talk to a wayward spouse because the advice we give here comes from DR HARLEY. It is very disrespectful of you to dismiss the other posters [BS, non-BS, non WS] who took their valuable time to post to her. This is not a chitchat forum, but a forum to discuss Dr Harley's program.

A poster asking about STD's is hardly "venomous". However, anything you or your W perceive as an attack should be reported to the mods by clicking "notify".

Lovebusters is a term that is used for marriage building. Posters here are not concerned about filling your W's lovebank.

It's recommend that you read all the materials on this site and order SAA (Surviving an Affair). I predict a very rocky road ahead. Good luck!

This is true. We "take the side" of the marriage.


I know what she has "been through." She has had an affair and hurt many people who did not volunteer for it.


There are reasons, but no EXCUSES. Those "reasons" do not justify hurting others. Like I said, she is not a victim, she and her OM are volunteers. The victims are the BS's and their children.


If you don't keep your keep your love bank closed to others, it doesn't MATTER how full your love bank is.