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Has anyone done this or known someone who has?
I have to make a decision very soon on the matter and I am not sure what to do.
I am pretty far along with the process but need to pull the trigger soon before the statute of limitations expires.
Thanks!!
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I am a paralegal, I have dealt with those suits on both sides of the issue.
What questions do you have?
************
You guys scare people off.
It appears you jump to conclusions and automatically think the worst of others.
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My question is how bad is it for the plaintiff in this type of case? My attorney's tell me it's terrible. Then I think how bad can it really be? I've already gone through hell several times over this.
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I've given the AoA attorney the retainer and told them to file the claim. This is about accountability. I'm sure he is judgment proof but at least I'll get my day in court.
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I've given the AoA attorney the retainer and told them to file the claim. This is about accountability. I'm sure he is judgment proof but at least I'll get my day in court. The judgement will follow him for years and be on record
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The Plaintiff (person making claim) and the Defendant(Person charged with Alienation) will both have their personal issues put out there in public court records.
If it goes to trial, depending on your sensitivity this will be publicly embarrassing not just for the Defendant/OP. If you don't plan on reconciling your marriage or if you have your spouse's permission, this spreads their dark moments out there for a judge and jury to hear along with anyone else who happens to be in court that day.
Do you have kids? They could be affected by this in ways none of us know.
If you are already divorced and used the irreconcilable differences claim, this could bar your receiving any judgment.
************
You guys scare people off.
It appears you jump to conclusions and automatically think the worst of others.
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I wanted to point out that the defendant should be publicly embarrassed about committing adultery and wrecking a family.
It is true that children that are very much affected by adultery. But an alienation of affection suit will not "harm" children. In fact, it is a good thing for children to see adulterers and home wreckers help accountable. Children are harmed by adultery, not by holding adulterers accountable.
That being said, I don't see the point of all this so long after the fact. I agree the OM should be held accountable, but hasn't that ship already sailed? The only impact I see here is that you will be triggered by reliving the affair in court.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Well there is always the saying Revenge is a dish best served cold.
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If it goes to trial, depending on your sensitivity this will be publicly embarrassing not just for the Defendant/OP. If you don't plan on reconciling your marriage or if you have your spouse's permission, this spreads their dark moments out there for a judge and jury to hear along with anyone else who happens to be in court that day.
any judgment. All betrayed spouses on this website are encouraged to be very loud and proud and expose the affair. They are survivors with nothing to be ashamed of and should not fall for victim blaming fears. Besides which its impossible to stop an affair WITHOUT the adulterer feeling true shame and guilt. It's also never happened when the BS is busy cowering in fear. Only tigers save their marriages, or save themselves.
Last edited by indiegirl; 02/03/15 12:21 PM.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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The Plaintiff (person making claim) and the Defendant(Person charged with Alienation) will both have their personal issues put out there in public court records.
If it goes to trial, depending on your sensitivity this will be publicly embarrassing not just for the Defendant/OP. If you don't plan on reconciling your marriage or if you have your spouse's permission, this spreads their dark moments out there for a judge and jury to hear along with anyone else who happens to be in court that day.
Do you have kids? They could be affected by this in ways none of us know.
If you are already divorced and used the irreconcilable differences claim, this could bar your receiving any judgment. Countess you have came to this forum and only commented on this specific topic. Why is that?
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Countess you have came to this forum and only commented on this specific topic. Why is that?
_________________________
Me: BS
Ex wife: joined the dark side of the Force
*************************************
It just happened to be the first one I saw that I could say anything on.
I'm lurking mostly while I figure out how to ask for help in my own way or if I should even ask for help.
Thanks.
************
You guys scare people off.
It appears you jump to conclusions and automatically think the worst of others.
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I hope you are OK Countess.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Thank you indiegirl,
I don't know what I am. But I don't think I belong here (thread or website).
I think I am considered what you all call a WS? There is no affair but I do want to leave my (seemingly perfect) husband.
Thanks again. I think I'll just keep lurking and see if I can find a thread that will help.
************
You guys scare people off.
It appears you jump to conclusions and automatically think the worst of others.
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You are not the first nor will you be the last to fall in the sandtrap. You'll get some bootcamping when you share your story but we will get you to happiness.
Don't suffer alone.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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oooooh Kay - you are not a WS unless there is an other man....
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Alrighty, well then I can't be a WS.
I'll stop hijacking this thread and I'll draft one of my own.
Thanks again.
************
You guys scare people off.
It appears you jump to conclusions and automatically think the worst of others.
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Alrighty, well then I can't be a WS.
I'll stop hijacking this thread and I'll draft one of my own.
Thanks again. Welcome to MB and please feel free to share your story.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I saw the exact same thing which made me a little worried hence no more postings until after I got this settled. I'm pretty sure my ex knew I came here. Well I know she did, cause we had counseling with Steve back in the day.
In any case, I'll just say that we settled and I was able to get my 2 year old on same schedule as my older two girls and her income back to pre-affair levels. That was the one thing I was not going to settle on.
I just had to pay an AoA attorney instead of my family attorney but now I know way more about the AoA topic than I ever wanted too!!
Now that the statute of limitations has expired hopefully we can both move forward. POSOM used it as an excuse to not divorce his wife (protecting assets) and of course it was something that weighed heavily on me too.
Last edited by PhoenixStar; 03/11/15 11:19 AM.
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And they are both attorneys who have reputations to protect where I really don't care what the average person on the street thinks so that was leverage. They obviously did not want a very public trial when their offices are right down the street from the court house.
But yes, it would have cranked back up the tension between me and the ex which would have been bad for the kids. Of course, breaking their family was bad too and [censored] didn't care.
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