Hi Everyone! <BR>I am so thrilled to have found this site. It has been so comforting to know I am not alone. Well here is my story: My H started having an on-line relationship with a mutual acquaintance of ours. They started with Emails and then H set her up with AOL Instant Messenger so they could talk to each other live. This had been going on for about a month when I realized that he was up to something (he displayed all the classic signs : picking fights that were exceptionally out of character for him, spending LONG hours on line late at night and early am, increase in sexual interest etc) anyway, after some investigation on my own, I discovered who it was. My H has never done this to me before and I always trusted him 110%. This was a MAJOR blow to me and I remember feeling like someone punched me in the gut. ( I was able to find his password that he had changed, and get into his mail..I found all the emails he sent to her over the previous month, and some she sent to him.) I held it in for one month and endured it...I needed to gather all my evidence and present it to him or he would DENY. He is a big denier/lier when cornered.<BR>Fortunately or unfortunately the OW Husband also discovered the affair and went off the edge,,,,confronting both her and my H. My husband had to confess to me of course, since the OW's husband threatened to tell me, too!<BR>Well needless to say, I acted like it was the first time I was hearing this,,,and really put on a show! Of course the major blow had passed weeks before it. But I could certainly feel for the H !!! Now this is not the first time this OW has done this to her husband. I know of at least 6 other times. Of all the women my H chooses ,,he chooses a whore/predator! Well my H swears that it is over and he will never contact her again. I believe him , at least I did for several weeks, when I started to get a strange feeling that they were again communicating using the Instant Messenger. There is no way I can track or trace that, either. I was coming up dry when I checked his emails, phone bills, etc. I did go off the deep end one night not long ago, and accused him of still talking to her. He would not deny it, though, and said he told me he would not contact her and that is his word. BUT is she contacting him???remember she is a predator.<BR>I have never confronted her,,,even though I have toyed with the idea frequently. <BR>Another problem, i might add, is that our children are friends (they are both 5 years old) and they have always played together, parties,,etc. Now what do I do about that? It is not THEIR faults that their parents are asses. How do I explain to my daughter that she can not go over Katies anymore? They are both starting in the same school in 2 weeks, so there will be occasions when we will all be together..How do I handle that? Also is there anyway that anyone knows if I can track/trace AOL INstant messenger?<BR>thanks for listening..you guys are great. My heart goes out to all.<BR>

Download a Key Logger. PC Protect is good. It will store everything that is typed into a text file that you can look at later. This runs on your pc and is undetectable.

I feel for you. My H had an internet affair too, and it nearly killed me when I found out.<P>I agree about the key logger - it's the only way to get peace of mind about whether they're still talking or not. Unfortunately, you can't put it on at their workplace PCs <P>Here's another board dealing with exactly this problem:<P>www.hostboard.com - go to family, then internet infidelity.<P>Good luck -- you will get through it